Stretch of the Imagination posted 10/19/2009 5:10:57 PM | 13 kudos what's this?     report abuse

ColdinWisconsin

I've learned a great deal these past few years. The difference between innocence and ignorance. The loss of one and the throwing away of another. That wisdom does bring a certain amount of power with it and the application of said power is a frightfully awesome thing.

That in the on-line world there are many different kinds of relationships and that greeting someone warmly and kissing them on first one cheek and then the other is pretty much the norm. That on line (for the most part) isn't for big warm hugs that last a while.

I've thought about my experience here (not just MD, but the Internet universe as a whole) and I freely admit that I was absolutely enthralled with this venue upon finding it.

The profiles, it all started with the profiles. Granted, most were pretty much the same, but there were those that made my skin crawl tight against my bones. The ones where you were actually embarrassed for the person who wrote it. Some seemed so desperate. (Let me say right here that my on-line foray did NOT begin on MD)

Some were witty. Some were so obviously written to include the biggest words possible you knew darn well that they were trying to be something they weren't on a daily basis. And of course there were those that made no effort at all. asdfghjk..or...I will fill this out later.

But the pictures. Oh my Lord, the pictures! It was an endless buffet. Seriously. Any taste could be satisfied here. Blond, brunette, half naked, dressed in a nice suit, working out, fishing, hunting (LOTS of those!) and the inevitable picture of a car or a motorcycle. Or, one of my all time favorites, those that don't show the face, just the body. Usually a provocative pose with lot's of cleavage or butt crack. It was and still is, to me, a mind bender in psychology.

It's the wanting to put our best foot forward (in the beginning at least) It’s the assuming that this (what they are showing us) is their best....it is also what they value most highly. How they want others to see them.

It makes sense doesn't it? Who the heck takes a picture of their toe nail fungus and posts it? Even those who try to make their pictures look satanic, it IS the visual they want you to get. Posed bikini photo's? Yes, they want you to see them. Gander at them, appreciate them, and yes, for sure comment on them.

And the wonder of it all was that there really was someone for everyone. Yin for Yang, knick-knack for the paddy-wacks, and whips for the chains. That a woman who needs her body admired all the time could simply and easily find a man who wanted to admire a woman's body all the time. A cook could find someone who liked to eat.

I'm an imaginative gal. Maybe that's why this whole process became such a draw for me. I could take the few bits of clay that people chose to show me and mold it into some pretty awesome things. I freely admit at this late date that I was my own worst enemy in this faction. Assuming people were being honest, I took what they did tell me and painted my own mental picture with the pieces they gave me.

Take this for example.

an umbrella
leaves flinging through the air
Hip-hugger khaki's
and a man in a three piece suit.

Now we've all got the same pieces, but we've all come up with a different mental image from those items. (and subsequently different emotional responses.)

Random items? No, they aren't. In fact, I wrote a wonderfully erotic story based on those 4 items. (fine then...it was downright filthy)

But do you get it? Do you get how it takes two to participate in this? How we all frame our own mental images (and impressions) based on how we put the puzzle together and how they are presented to us as well.

A highly addicting game this is. At least I think so.

I freely admit that when I have a few spare moments, I sign on as invisible and gander at the profiles. They still pull me in. I have shared some of the more outrageous ones with friends and kept some of the better ones (good looking, intelligent) to myself.

By no stretch of the imagination is this Candy Land. This was and still is a very dangerous and potent game. There are still some real people out there who are seriously looking for a partner. Some for what they term a “soul mate” and even a few who are looking for someone with the same interests to do things with.

Online dating is 2 o'clock in the morning.

It's bar time.

It's a GREAT time.

But it's also the time when the most wacked out are on the roads and cruising. They aren't necessarily paying attention to those that could get hurt around them, they are just enjoying this for all it's worth. Some because of age hear that perpetual "LAST CALL" and it makes this frenetic energy even more dangerous.

The difference between innocence and ignorance is with ignorance, you know what's right and real, but you choose to ignore it.

I get it now. I get how dangerous this whole thing is. Especially for someone like me who doesn't need to stretch their imagination very far to create a very vivid picture. Because symbols and words are potent things, but they mean different things to each and every one of us. My stories are real and solid in and of themselves, but, they are by no stretch of the imagination the flesh and blood me.

It's all just pieces. Pieces of a puzzle. That we are individuals must decide if what we are given is worth putting it all together to make the whole.

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