Not since the cold war have we been faced with such a monumental task so we need to come together and wage war on this planetary menace. I've come up with some ideas which, according to my calculations, will perpetuate our inevitable victory.
First we chop up and ship the glaciers to all the deserts and build a wall of ice right down the middle of each one. "Divide and conquer" I think the Siamese twin with a liver said that. Then we build and install colossal air conditioning units and massive fossil fuel burning power plants to perpetually run them. Not only will we be cooling the deserts but we'll be ridding the planet of that harmful carbon buried deep in the ground.
Destroy all Solar Panels! This is just common sense people. I mean isn't it counter intuitive to invite the sunlight? Think about it.
No Farting! The dinosaurs farted and look what happened to them.
With some creative lobbying, I'm sure we can get a law passed that requires all americans to wear butt plugs.
Stop exercising and eat lots of ice cream. You will bring down your body temperature and collectively aid in the earth's cooling. Insist that your Ice Cream come from local, free-range, non-farting cows.
Then we throw Paris Hilton into a pit of molten lava. We will exponentially increase our chances of winning the battle by sacrificing this spoiled slut whose claim to fame is the phrase "that's hot" to the volcano gods...or not.
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read more blogs!
Blogs by PentatonicPunk:
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| The Battle Against Global Warming |
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Tiramisu4u
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Oct 20 @ 9:40AM
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Welcome back! 
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silksox
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Oct 20 @ 10:03AM
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Hey Dood   
Where ya been? I am glad to see you've surfaced for air...even if it's the HOT variety.. 
silks
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dizzydoll
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Oct 20 @ 10:14AM
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stop driving SUVs, its my globe too 
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misschoos
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Oct 20 @ 10:31AM
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Destroying all the solar panels would at least go as far as helping any snowmen built underneath solar panels, before they become extinct. 
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1RockinDude
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Oct 20 @ 11:08AM
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Penatonic Punk...another idea.
Enough people speak of all the Global Warning....crap. But imagine all the hot air, they spew..griping about it ! Hot tempers being flared. Wanting to ban this, ban that. etc.  Planting trees..I know everywhere I look are Trees !!!
Then they go home, and turn the heat up on high..haha
They need to cool it.
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oct_cat
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Oct 20 @ 11:31AM
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Could we make a giant pair of 'earth sunglasses'?? Think of how 'cool' we'd look!!
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Blaiserboy
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Oct 20 @ 11:54AM
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misschoos....
YEP. save the snowman......!!
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AverageJoe
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Oct 20 @ 11:57AM
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I wish this part of the globe would warm a bit, middle of October and already snowing! I wonder if Al Gore will come over and shovel my driveway. 
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chevymn
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Oct 20 @ 12:12PM
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Maybe we should just blame it all on people we don't like. Let's blame it on the I.R.S. Glad to see ya back.
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bardnsage
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Oct 20 @ 12:16PM
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ICE CREAM,,, well,,, that's just peachy. What about someone who is lactose intollerant? I don't think that butt plug is going to hold, and I damn sure don't want to anywhere around when it let's go.
But,,, as global warming is a matter of numbers,,,, what if all the people who think it's a real problem quit driving, quit breathing, quit eating, quit heating their homes with a HOT heat source,,,, we should be able to put things right toot sweet. No need for legisaltion,,, voluntary compliance should be good enough. All global warmist,,, shoot yourself in the head for the good of the planet,,, and the children.
I'm going to do my part,,,, and kill a cow, (methane belching bastards),, and I'm going to eat it medium rare so I don't have to make as much CO2 cooking it. Or better yet,,,, I'm going to do some research into a SOLAR POWERED BBQ,,,, oh heck yeah. That's the ticket. SOLAR BBQ....
It doesn't have to cook right,,, it just has to get hot enough to burn something. I'll sell a damn mint of those things in CA. They have sun and hippies and reserchers who work on government grants to prove global warming,,, unlike Seatle,,, which has the sun vs rain problem.
Dang,,, I got to get moving on this. I can see it now,,,, the ad campaign. Two Hiker DUDES,,, traversing the great glaciers of the North,,, thank-ful that global warming has not taken their beloved glacier,,,, but it could,,, so they use the SOLAR BBQ, and the SOLAR ICE TEA brewing system,,,, to save the environment,,,, while they cook up a mess of baby seal they just bashed in the head for dope money. It's OK,, cause they are eating it, and if properly controlled, a renewable greeen resource. OH,,, and I'll donate a portion of the proceeds to the FREEZE THE CHILDREN dot ORG foundation. (whcih I will create) Then I can set the whole thing up as a 501C,,,, pay myself salary with bonuses,,,, but still have the corp be tax excempt.
Dang,,, this medicine is great. 
Now,,, off to the junk yard,,, and see if can find an old 2 meter satalitte dish,,, and a couple of rolls of aluminum foil,,,, and a grill grate from a burnt out dirty propane grill,,,,,
need some test meat.....
are the girl scouts coming around selling cookies yet. I could always cook some brownies.
Is it time for medicine yet? dang,,, 3 more hours to go,,, starting to jones for the medicine.
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whatagal
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Oct 20 @ 12:28PM
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OMG you're BACK!! 
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Fender
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Nov 6 @ 8:19AM
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Stop exercising and eat lots of ice cream. You will bring down your body temperature and collectively aid in the earth's cooling. Insist that your Ice Cream come from local, free-range, non-farting cows.
But...but...I already do that now.
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