Summary of Life posted 10/24/2009 9:08:34 PM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse tagged: humor, joke, laugh

kywonder

This was sent to me by sister. It is too cute to pass up. Thanks Lynn.

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree..
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground..
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.


GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional..
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.


SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . .. not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends..
At age 17 success is . . having a driver's license..
At age 35 success is . . . .having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . .. not piddling in your pants.

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;
BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

Have a wonderful day with many ! *smiles*

Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short.
Dance naked.. woo-hoo!

But don't let me see you.

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Blogs by kywonder: ~~~Farewell To False Love~~~ ~~~Gosh I'm Tired~~~ Freedom Isn't Free Daddy Look What You Missed ~~~She is not feeling well at all~~~ ~~~We Have a Week Under Our Belt~~~ ~~~When A Woman Lies~~~ Hey This is Carolyn....KyWonder's Sister Summary of Life ~~~~Living in 2009~~~~ ~~~Face All Your Challenges~~~ ~~~The Journey's Not So Long~~~ ~~~~Take Time~~~~ ~~~Tribute to My Sister~~~ ~~~Earl & Bubba~~~ ~~~They Put Radiation Off For Another Week~~~ ~~~Where Oh Where Can She Be~~~ ~~~Radiation Starts Monday~~~ ~~~How We Raise Our Kids In KY~~~ ~~~~Update on Carolyn, My Sister~~~~ ~~~~She Is Back At The Hospital~~~~ ~~~It Is Cancer~~Update on my Sister~~~ ~~~My Oh My; My Sister's Faith~~~ ~~~Surgery is Done~~~ ~~~Surgery For My Sister~~~