The Freak Factor! posted 10/26/2009 10:57:28 AM | 1 kudo what's this?     report abuse tagged: tv, humour

BionicCouple

I am rapidly coming to the conclusion there are either an enormous number of tone deaf people in this country who also have difficulty seeing something unless it looks like a brightly coloured cartoon or the Taste Police are finally putting plans into action to make a mockery of the TV talent show ...

How is this done? Vote for the worst contestant in the show and watch the tears fall and the fur fly!

First of all, we had the adorable dancing pig that was, news reporter, John Seargent feeling forced to leave 'Strictly Come Dancing' because, and I quote "there is a very likely chance I might actually win the show". I am so glad, such a delightful, intelligent man saw fit to extract himself from what can only be described as car-crash TV.

Thanks to the dubious taste of pop impresario, Louis Walsh, the X-Factor now gives us a weekly dose of the talentless Irish twin-freak show that is John & Edward ... "Oim John and Oim Edward and together we are ... Shoite!"

For three weeks running now, reasonably talented artists who could only have improved, have been in the bottom two for the sing-off, whilst the blonde-bog-brush-bimbinos were kept in by the phone vote.

To begin with I was a little angry but decided this week it could all just be another element of the Pantomime these shows have become ...

Simon Cowell is the big, bad Ogre with all the money who does as he pleases, sneers at any contestant who isn't in his category and breaks all the rules with his own contestants because it's his show!

Louis is the Pantomime Dame, smiling, clapping and singing along one minute and dishing out bitch queen insults the next. Louis's biggest discoveries are boy bands Boyzone and Westlife, both from Ireland. Louis has a knack for spotting young, male talent ... if you know what I mean!

Then there's the wicked step-mother, Dannii Minogue who even appears cold when she's trying to be nice. Despite her high profile TV role these days she will never, ever match her sister Kylie's achievements ... which is sad because there's not much between them really, they look alike, talk alike, sing alike, dance alike, act alike ... poor Dannii just happened to be born second ... hard luck Dan, but you can still enjoy the kudos being The Princess of Pop's little sis will undoubtedly bring for the rest of your life.

Enter the heroine, Cinderella Cheryl Cole, a talent show winner herself, who can genuinely empathise with the contestants. Beautiful, charming, caring and a little vulnerable at times, she occasionally shows her tough, Geordie side in an attempt at wiping that grin of Cowell's too often smug face. People seem to have forgotten the incident she was in back in 2002 when she hit a female toilet attendant in a Surrey nightclub, albeit "in self defence" ... back then she was considered a racist, no talent wag (footballer's wives and girlfriends are commonly know as WAGs) ... She's now the X-Factor's Darling, how soon the fickle public change their opinion. Having said that, Cheryl does come across as a genuinely nice person.

It's easy to blame dear old Queen Louis for getting his underpants in a twist and finding fellow Irish lads John & Edward hard to resist, but there are three other judges on the panel ... I suspect they gave in to humour Louis thinking they'd be eliminated in the very early stages of the live show .... WRONG!!!!

So what is it about John & Edward that keeps the general public voting for them every week?

Is it the fact they actually make the X-Factor interesting for a change. Being a cynic about these shows, I have always felt the winner is a foregone conclusion and the phone votes don't actually count ... who can prove otherwise?

Is it the dark side in us that can't resist watching something excrutiatingly bad and enjoying watching the judges squirm ... not to mention the ensuing arguements?

Or does Louis Walsh actually know something we don't? ... along with the members of Boyzone, he has made a huge amount of money over the years and one band member, Ronan Keating went on to have a fairly successful solo career too until the band reformed. I have to say, I think Boyzone's first TV performance makes John & Edward look slick ...

but I'll let you judge for yourselves.

> John & Edward <

> Boyzone <

Laugh? It's hard not to ...

Oooh, how could I forget the lovely > John Seargent <

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