Adventures In Internet Dating: The Final Chapter, Pt. 1 posted 10/26/2009 7:45:09 PM | 9 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: dating, love, romance

jentoblues101

I like to say I've been internet dating for five years. The number five is technically an odd number, but it feels both even and round to me; it's a large enough number to lend weight to my statements, but not large enough to give them a hopeless, desperate feeling. "I've been internet dating for five years, have met over two hundred guys and it's been my experience that most men are exactly who they say they are on their profiles."

See? There's some authority in that statement, though the "over two hundred guys" sounds a little desperate, if not hopeless.

The truth is that it's been over six years and I have been getting desperate: hell, I was desperate when I started, though in the beginning it was hope tinged with desperation and recently it's been desperation tinged with hope. Not that I didn't learn and grow through my myriad internet meetings. I remember the nervous, last minute changing of shirts, jeans and bras, the vacillating between cleavage or no-cleavage of those first meetings, the pounding heart, the expectation of something special. And if IT didn't happen with Friday's meeting, then surely Saturday's would be different. I drove to Minneapolis, Abbotsford, the Dells, Woodbury, LaCrosse, Wausau. I've had men come from Barron, Madison, St. Paul, St. Cloud, Rochester, Rhinelander, Green Bay, Janesville and, on one very forgettable occasion, Sioux City, Iowa.

As weeks turned to months and months to years hope morphed into resignation. I no longer changed my jeans three times before a meeting for I learned that as long as I showed cleavage the men thought I looked great. I stopped driving long distances because I'd found that even if we were to "click" the miles between would eventually dampen that spark. I discouraged email contact, preferring to get right to the face-to-face stuff and if the guy didn't roll with that then he was eliminated from the pool. Not that I was the only one doing the elimination; there were several notable occasions when I was smitten and was myself eliminated. Que sera, sera.

Going into my sixth year I found myself dating by route: 237 guys down, numbers 238 and 239 yet to meet this weekend, then homework, laundry and mow the lawn. Meeting a new man was no more exciting than was meeting with referrents at work, an off-site staffing, or a trip to the doctor's. Still, I was single-minded, grimly marching from date to date with a tenaciousness I now find hard to believe; it had become a hobby, a job and a mission all rolled into one and I'd be damned if I was going to cry "uncle." And I'd be damned if I was going to stay home alone on a weekend night.

I'd learned it was best to keep my meetings open; I'd set them up as short get-to-know-you type thing--a cup of coffee, a quick sandwich, a half-hour walk in the park--implying I had other plans and--for the most part--I found myself left to my own devises on Friday and Saturday nights. So I'd go out alone. I took myself out to dinners, to music events, to movies, to bars. I bought a motorcycle and rode alone to Hudson, to Marshfield, to Crystal Cave, to the gym, the grocery store, the mall. I became a people-watcher or--more specifically--a couples watcher.

Pushing my cart around Walmart a good-looking guy would catch my eye and I'd immediately look for his woman, surreptitiously studying the pair as they browsed toilet bowl cleansers, wondering how they met, how long they'd known each other, gauging how strong their relationship was by their body-language. At bars and music events I'd eyeball women my age, with their studiously tousled hair, $50 Gap jeans, glittery Aeropostale tee-shirts and gym-hardened thighs as they danced with their partners and I'd wonder, "What does he see in her? Why am I sitting alone?" I did not covet their men; I coveted what those couples seemed to have together.

to be continued

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

Blogs by jentoblues101: Status Update Recovery Apologies Adventures In Internet Dating: The Final Chapter, Pt. 1