I have told you that I wont forget you but I never told you why because for the longest
time I never understood why myself. I said goodbye many times and we both went our separate
ways yet for reasons neither of us admitted or explored we found our way back to each other
and fell into that comfortable place of belonging.
Was it the passion? well our time together was filled with passion from the arguments to
the lovemaking, we did both with a passion that scared the s*it out of us at times.
Maybe it was the fun we had? doing stuff that some people never get a chance to.
Your kindness? yea ok..like the kind way You told me I was mentally challenged because I
couldn't find the keys to "Your" truck then told me to get my s*it ready you were taking me home
and did you think I wouldn't? hmmm I seem to remember me sitting in your truck while you went
looking for me for 2 hours thinking I was somewhere crying instead of crying I was laughing at you searching
I did say arguments right?
Maybe it was the first date that lasted 3 days..days spent riding your Harley to places only
bikes can go..letting the wind take our breath away, then having a pic-nic wherever we decided to stop.
Maybe it was sitting in the middle of your big brass bed on 9-11 when you jumped out of the tub
and yelled turn on the TV..Dad just called and something happened in New York and we both
sat for hours watching footage over and over never saying a word lost in our own thoughts.
Maybe it was kissing for hours like teenagers never getting enough.
Laying in your hammock arms wrapped around each other letting a gentle rain bring us closer.
The beauty you showed me in your orchids, even the ugly ones were beautiful to you.
I now understand its all of this but so much more, you gave me a freedom to be me when my life
had been shades of gray for so long, my heart a locked box with disappointment inside.
Why? let me make you understand "J". Do you remember the first time we met, it took awhile before
I said yes I would meet you heck I had spent most my life married always doing the "right" things
The first time you seen me your words were wow you are much prettier in person. I was always
uncomfortable with that but you let that go for awhile..until after many times of me saying
no im not..you asked me why I couldn't see what you saw..I tried to explain when you stood me
naked in front of your mirror with tears streaming down my face and took my chin in your hand
and said LOOK..YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! then you touched my tears and said THIS IS YOUR BEAUTY
You never let me say the words "I cant" you always said it wasn't a word and what it really meant
was I wont. You told me it is wonderful to feel butterflies when we kissed because you felt them
too. It was awesome to truly enjoy lovemaking without shame. It is ok to love even if it hurts.
Its ok to stop trying to be perfect, its ok to fail as long as you pick yourself back.You taught
me to be the real me..and if I didn't know who the real me was then I needed to start finding her.
Now as you read this and yea I KNOW YOU WILL READ IT maybe you will never have the need to
ask if I forgot you..4 ever and 1 day will be when I will forget you..not any sooner
Always your words to me "J"
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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read more blogs!
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misschoos
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Oct 28 @ 1:39PM
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You told me I was mentally challenged because I
couldn't find the keys to "Your" truck  That's a classic.
~*~
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sweetxy
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Oct 28 @ 1:43PM
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Kudo for now for 4everand 1 day  
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edthepoet
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Oct 28 @ 1:49PM
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How could anyone be forgotten when there's this much intensity between two people.
This has a very raw edge as though sawing through the good and bad side of passion, yet, with a tenderloin of love that isn't quite large enough for two people too consume.
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sybnann
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Oct 28 @ 1:50PM
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Wow! This song was beautiful and I could not have said it better myself. The same goes for your blog, my friend...... to have "that" kind of love... is something undescibeable, or so I thought.....you described it and did it well.....
It was only when I felt that, just one time in my life (even though he didn't), that I felt SO alive... and that is what I want again.... but it's not the same unless we both feel it.
Thanks for bringing it back, even if it was only for 5 minutes!
 Have a wonderful day!
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MrPaul
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Oct 28 @ 2:07PM
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you gave me a freedom to be me  One of the greatest gifts one can give to another  
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dizzydoll
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Oct 28 @ 3:11PM
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leprichaun_magic
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Oct 28 @ 10:18PM
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kywonder
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Oct 28 @ 11:08PM
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Tis a shame when you feel like this and can't make it work.
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ladyvampire
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Nov 3 @ 11:33AM
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That was exactly the way it was with Doug and me. If you look over my very old blogs, you will see something about someone who had tried suicide and almost succeeded.
We had that same thing and could not for the life of us, make it work. I keep feeling that if we could have made it work, he would still be alive today. (By the way, he died just a few months after the suicide attempt.)
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