The Forever Running Man - Part 2 posted 10/30/2009 2:10:43 AM | 4 kudos what's this?     report abuse

sybnann

This is a continuation of Part 1 of The Forever Running Man, and again it is to share with you why I viewed my late husband as such a special person. I want to add something though.

I am not doing this FOR you, and although it is in HONOR of him... I can no longer do it FOR him.... SO... that only leaves ME doing it for ME!!!!! It's time I healed from it ALL and this is a major step!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DO however, hope you enjoy Ralph's story. He was very fascinating!!!

Anyway, to continue where I had left off in Part 1.... he had lost his first wife to a sudden heart seizure when she was just 23, leaving two small children.

Ralph in his words "went off the deep end" for a while and I feel most if not all people would react the same or a similar way. I always believed that a big part of Ralph died the day that she did as well. He dated a lot for a while, worked a lot too, and therefore was rarely home with the children. Girlfriends, housekeepers, and neighbors, were the "mother figures" for these children.
He met and married again, and that marriage lasted 7 yrs.

She became an alcoholic and had extra marital affairs. She is the one that broke it off with Ralph, and he soon moved on. He started dating again and soon after, ... we met each other.

I had placed a singles ad in the local paper, and he responded to me. We met soon after.. and we just knew that we had something. It was a "warm," "secure," "comfortable" love that we shared. He had a very big heart through that tough exterior, and knew right away that he wanted to make a good life for us. We had our daughter, who is now 22 and lives for now in the same town as I do.

We married three years later and after being laid off from a job he had been working at for a number of years, we moved and he became an armored car driver. His real dream though, was to have his own business, and I promised to and did support him in that effort. It was a courier/cargo business, and that was cool. The problem in my eyes early on, was the fact that he was on call 24/7, and it was the hospital or airport that were the ones to normally call all hours. The hospital would have emergencies and Ralph would of course drop everything when they called.
There were many Birthdays, Anniversarys, Thanksgivings, and yes... even Christmas and New Years celebrations that were interrupted because he had to GO. We DID have a few people helping us, but they wanted holidays off as we could not pay double time. I felt that the company that he loved... was robbing us of precious time... and it was.

He could ALWAYS do the work of three men and young men often marveled at him... as we all did.

I remember countless times that he would whisper to me in the night that he had to go to Medford....80 miles away.. or even Portland....300 miles away!! I SO felt for him and wondered often how he was doing it, and even WHY... although I actually knew the last part of that question..... He was saving a life... and he was ALL about saving people... ALWAYS... until it came to himself of course...

There were days that I had a love/hate relationship with our business, because we didnt have much of a life those last years. We averaged a week vacation every two years for maybe 15 yrs. Then it was maybe 3 days if we were lucky the last 3 years or so. I knew it was killing him and now that I look back, I realize that it was killing me too..... I begged him to sell, as everyone did, and I begged him to see the doctor at least once a year, but he would do neither.

When that fateful day did come... the man that seemingly could move mountains, The Forever Running Man, ran out of time. He "felt funny" but would not go, even then, to the doctor or hospital. He fainted at one time, and I called 911. He awoke and asked who I was on the phone with. I told him and he said OH NO and again, wouldn't go.

He amazingly lasted that night and the next morning relented and went to the hospital. I drove him myself. The damage however, was already done. He lasted 6 days but was kept sedated the whole time. One of those six days.. as I heard later.. he sat up in bed at 6 AM. Of course he did! HE was RALPH and never slept later than 6 for so many years..


After he died.... I SO blamed myself for so long, for hanging up that 911 call when he said No he didn't want to go. I am now getting through this thick skull though... that like our minister told me...

Thanks again for reading!!!!!!!!!

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