Well, I pissed off someone again. I seem to be good at it. Maybe I'm just nieve to think that people will listen to what I consider common sense.
Uh-oh,, that's the problem right there. Maybe my common sense is not so common. After spending years of being very succesful at predicting bad things happening, and then making million dollar bets on those predictions, I kind of take for granted that people can see bad things on the horizon, or places where they leave their defenses open for attack.
No, I'm not psychic or anything. I don't rub crystal balls, or stare into tea leaves. It's called statiscal probabilities, and yes,, I'm good at it. It's called being a Risk Manager. You look at acutal bad things that have happened - (workplace fatality), or near miss incidents - (he was struck in the head by an object, but lived), and you can accurately predict escalations of severity or worse case outcomes,,, if the variables in a situation do not change.
SO, I make my analysis of a given situation, consult with an insurance carrier who is looking at that situation or risk, and we decide if placing a multi-milliion dollar policy on that risk is an acceptable risk. In many cases, I have to develop a action plan for management of the risk to change a management practice or procuedure to limit the risk by eliminating one of their managment shortcomings or failures. (And yes,, 99% of all risk increasing activities, are a failure of management.)
My problem, is when I see "people" who are placing themselves in a situation that is ultimately going to be bad, or could be bad, I tend to focus on WHAT CAN BE DONE TO PREVENT FUTURE OCCURANCE, OR ESCALATION to limit their personal risk.
I keep forgetting that people have an emotional stake in their actions and behaviors, and rarely want to hear that 99% of thier risk increasing activities are a product of thier own personal managment failures.
No one wants to hear that they may have been the victum of theft because they didn't lock thier doors, trim the hedges, stop their mail, etc.
No one wants to hear that they may have been the victum of a scammer because they paid a bill over the phone with their checking account information.
No one wants to hear that may have been mugged because they took the short cut down the ally.
No one wants to hear that they may have been the object of a pervert on the phone, because they GAVE OUT THEIR FREAKING PHONE NUMBER to someone they met in a chat room a "couple of weeks ago".
No, people just want to be consouled. I'm so sorry you got robbed. 
I'm so sorry got your checking account cleaned out.
I'm so sorry you got mugged, are you OK?
Is it really going to be any consolation to get an emoticon on a web site, or a card from the people at work, or a report from the watch commander that they have captured the pervert that attacked your children?
I can tell you from personal experience,,, it will not.
But, no person wants to hear that stuff. No individual wants to ever take a long look at their own risk factors, and think about how thier own actions could be increasing those factors.
It's easier to just to call me (RIDICULOUS).
Like I said,,, I need to mind my own business. Bad things happen to people. And to try to educate people,, and prevent the bad things from happening,,, is to fly in the face of natural selection.
Darwin was right.
But,, if it's any consolation,,,,
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| I should just mind my own business.... |
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moon_watcher53
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Nov 2 @ 2:02PM
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I keep saying "You can't tell anybody anything that already knows everything" and if it is some little something they don't know, its not worth knowing anyway !!
People already have their minds made up, nothing is about to change that.
You'd think they'd learn not only from their own mistakes but observing the mistakes of others, that doesn't work either.
Why disrupt their fantasy world ??
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john49887
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Nov 2 @ 2:07PM
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People are responsible for their own bad choices and decisions, no one else.
Some find great solace in playing the victim when these choices and decisions go awry.
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oct_cat
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Nov 2 @ 2:16PM
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Well, I pissed off someone again. I seem to be good at it. Maybe I'm just nieve to think that people will listen to what I consider common sense. I think a person gets pissed at another who exhibits common sense, because the first person is pissed at themselves that they DIDN'T have the common sense!
In many cases, I have to develop a action plan for management of the risk to change a management practice or procuedure to limit the risk by eliminating one of their managment shortcomings or failures. Reminds me of when I did W.C. claims. One of our clients had employees who most often suffered broken wrists or ankles (it was a chain jewelry store). I asked the HR Supervisor each time what caused the fall & hence the injury; her reply was "the employee climbs on a chair/box/object to reach something."
I said, "You may want to invest in a step stool for each store." 
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rockerchick1968
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Nov 2 @ 2:28PM
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Alright lets clear something up..........I did'nt get upset at you because you were showing common sense but because you completely insulted me by saying I deserved what I got. Is this not a dating site? Are we not to EVER give our phone numbers out? You are correct about Landlines being traced and no I would never give my landline out for my childrens protection. I will be the first to admit giving my number to that guy was HUGE mistake.........I think thats obvious! If you'll notice in closing to my blog, I put that I will be very selective now.
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lazareth
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Nov 2 @ 2:49PM
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It's called being a Risk Manager
I learned a lot about that as an insurance underwriter...
I also learned a lot about "reasonable and prudent"....
common sense I found out as an insurance agent/underwriter is getting harder and harder to find...
Are we not to EVER give our phone numbers out
not just after a couple of weeks.
I met my husband on line and I didn't give him my number for almost a year... common sense....
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lazareth
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Nov 2 @ 2:50PM
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oh.. forgot the green thingie 
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rockerchick1968
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Nov 2 @ 3:05PM
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I do agree Lazareth...........it was a bad judgement call on my part. We definately live and learn.
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lazareth
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Nov 2 @ 3:10PM
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just think Rocker... next time you meet a guy on line, this little episode will stick with ya..
believe me, I made more than my fair share of mistakes
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CentsofHumor
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Nov 2 @ 3:12PM
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No, I'm not psychic or anything. I don't rub crystal balls, or stare into tea leaves. It's called statiscal probabilities, and yes,, I'm good at it. It's called being a Risk Manager. You look at acutal bad things that have happened
Wonder what the "Statistical Probabilities" are for "Murphy's Law"....like..Why ME
I didn't smoke that much !..or my loss of one eye..was a motorcycle accident..not
that I refused to wear a helmut..or There I was, jaywalking between cars and got
hit by a bus..don't those bus drivers hav to take a course or som'ting..??..and then
last week got shitfaced, fell down and nobody would be a witness, that the stairs
go down, not up..shudden't there be a sign ???
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beanie68
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Nov 2 @ 4:07PM
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Preventative maintenance is common sense ~ 
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CHARLIgurl1
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Nov 2 @ 4:36PM
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What I would say is that when one posts things on blogs, it becomes public business to comment.. if one minded their own business.. then there would be no comments at all.
I also think that tact should play a part in commenting too though.
Not everyone will agree with all the comments, someone is bound to P someone off at some time or another.
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Loren62
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Nov 2 @ 4:38PM
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"Short haired preppies need not apply"
I think I would like to store my container of gasoline in the back room next to the gas water heater...after all...I don't weld in there very often.
So...you are looking for someone with long hair, tattoos, biker, bad boy kinda guy...you get what you ask for....and therefore its your fault!
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ragtopcookie
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Nov 2 @ 4:53PM
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You short sighted know it all selfish bastard you.......i dare you give out good advice to anybody......after all.....common sence cant be taught....you have to be born with it......  ......you dirtbag you.......  ....cookie
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1frantastic
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Nov 2 @ 5:34PM
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yep...sometimes stating preventive measures to trigger one's "Oh yeah...I guess I better...." is taken with..."Who gave you the right to tell me a thing!"...is usually from one who has a fear of "being controled"....  
so...if you piss someone off...just make sure you stand upwind....
else "Spitting IN the wind" only comes back in your face!!!!  
but...oh my...wouldn't life be boring if everyone knew everything?Look at all the people who would be out of work....no troubles.....well...not really...cause there are those who have to go against the grain for the hellva it.....
and...oh yeah...on a dating/friendship site...people USUALLY blog or speak in forums about things they have done...problems solved and share with others..or ask how problems can be solved ...cause *mostly* people are nice and don't get pissed off....but there again...ya never can tell who is on the other side of the monitor!!! 
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GraceUnderFire747
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Nov 2 @ 5:48PM
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Maybe I'm just naive to think that people will listen to what I consider common sense.
Let's analyze this scenario a bit.
1. Someone told you they did something that didn't work out well for them.
2. You replied with a "common sense" comment about their action.
3. You are trying to (helpfully) point out the cause and effect so they won't do it again.
4. If they had adequate "common sense", they would never have done that action to begin with.
5. This means that they are unable to judge situations involving "If I do A, B will (or might) happen".
Although a similar situation may arise, it is highly unlikely that the identical situation will happen again.
See #4 and #5.
Now print this old adage on a sticky note, and tape it to your monitor:
Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It only wastes your time and annoys the pig.
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dizzydoll
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Nov 2 @ 5:57PM
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Grace, you are a card doll
Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It only wastes your time and annoys the pig.
This statement covers so much else. People live in denial, thats the way they like it
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dachsiemom35
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Nov 2 @ 6:52PM
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From what i have read on this blog an the coments make me think of something an this may nt have anything do with whats been said but everyone is entitled make there own comments an judgements an stuff if we all thought the same an did the same thing or felt the same thing the world wld be pretty bad an boring differences is what makes the world pretty good .
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leprichaun_magic
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Nov 2 @ 6:56PM
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....well ,,you did try ...:)..you can lead a horse "to..water..but yu cant make him drink"!
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wordsenchanting
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Nov 2 @ 8:26PM
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Like would be pretty boring without risk. If I treated my life as conservatively as an insurance company I would not have much fun. Sure things backfire sometimes and lessons have got to be learned but not giving out a phone number for a YEAR??? Most guys would dump a gal for something that non-trusting.
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lazareth
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Nov 3 @ 2:26AM
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Words... it wasn't a matter of not trusting....I wasn't even looking for a relationship at that point, especially since it wasn't even a dating site that we met in. We started out as just friends.. period. And taking time to get to know someone is never a bad thing. Had he tried to rush me in to anything I would have nipped it in the bud.... and he knew it.
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Sternfan69
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Nov 3 @ 7:13AM
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TRUST NO ONE! EVERYONE IS NOT NICE,,PEOPLE WILL FUK YOU OVER IN A HEARTBEAT,,TRUST FAMILY THE LEAST,
PEOPLE ARE INHERENTLY BAD,,NO GOOD CAN FROM FROM TALKING TO ANY OF THEM~
there problem solved:)
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rockerchick1968
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Nov 3 @ 8:13AM
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In response to narrow minded Loren,
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POPO
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Nov 3 @ 8:47AM
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I can certainly understand "Risk" from a business stand point, that only makes sense, the price of stupidity can ruin a business or destroy a company. Common Sense should apply equally in our personal life, but there is a difference, emotional risk and financial risk, they can inner twine if were not careful, but usually they are very different, I see both sides of the debate, one promotes common sense, the other is about emotional connections. Yes they can be simular, but if we all based our personal life on our business dealings many would never experience a relationship or learn from the things we did right and the things we did wrong, the things we see we like and can live with or deal with and vice-a-versa.
Taking a chance on Romance or a Friendship, is apart of the process, not everyone is going to be a winner and not everyone is going to be a loser.. 
In looking back over my own life, I'm glad I took some chances some paid off, some didn't, but at 52 I know very clearly what will work for me and what won't. I know the kind of woman and personality that would fit like pages in a letter for me, had I not had the bad experiences and the ones that didn't work out, I would more then likely repeat or not see the flags, beyond the entertaining conversations.
Personally from what I have read thus far on this blog, I think the lady in question is only guilty of trusting another human and maybe thinking not everyone is bad or has malice on their mind. I do agree with one poster who wrote about what's listed on a profile can attrack the wrong people, we should be mindful in what we ask for, and open to atleast consider what were not asking for, if only for a moment. Often times what we think we want, is not always what we need or fits the best. Garth did a song called (Thank God For ) "Un-Answered Prayers", I've known that to be true... 
Age trial and error usually make us stronger smarter and better at seeing who's being for real and who's full of shit Experience is the Mother of Conviction, we've seen it, lived it and now know it...  Even our Mothers and Fathers or role models can tell us something, but usually we need to see it with our own eyes and then we believe it.
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