You might have heard about cars suddenly accelerating due to *coff* faulty floor mats, but I have another theory. Since the "cash for clunkers" program where the suppposed clunkers were systematically destroyed by seizing the engines and crushing them, I think cars are becoming more aware of our intentions. Most vehicles on the road today are equipped with computers and I believe they are now using these to get the word out. "You're Next!"
Sure you can talk to your car, wash and wax it once a week, and get the oil changed every 3,000 miles but your car knows it's just a matter of time before you turn.
I've been thinking about selling my 2004 Subaru WRX, and I'm sure it knows. Just last week it accelerated as I was driving by a cop and I think I heard it snickering as I was getting a ticket.
My truck wanted to run down three teenagers as they walked down the absolute middle of the street and pretended not to notice the 3,000 lb vehicle approaching. It's as though the truck reasoned "if these fkin punks don't care enough to use the sidewalk or at least the side of the road so I can get by without practically coming to a complete stop" (sorry, my truck is potentially long winded) "to avoid these fkin retards, then what kind of vehicle owners would they make?" It was all I could do to save those petulant adolescents from certain death or at the very least, serious injury.
Elderly drivers haven't been so lucky though. There have been many news stories about older drivers plowing into unsuspecting crowds of people, buildings, boats, and the occasional train, They simply don't have the strength and reaction time to control their demonic, bloodthirsty death mobiles.
Maybe it's time for the car companies to aptly name these mechanical killers. How about the Ford Fireball, or the Chevy Disemboweler?
Don't take it personally when your car tries to snap your neck with a deployed air bag while you talk on the phone...or tries to drive you under a bus, we've given them little choice. It's "us or them"
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Blogs by PentatonicPunk:
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| Is your car trying to kill you? |
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Tunes4u
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Nov 4 @ 6:55PM
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Don't get the flue shot either!
Computers and shots..... 
Stomp out the umm....man.
Yeah....the man. 
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Fender
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Nov 4 @ 6:58PM
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Your truck wasn't doing it on purpose. I rigged it because I hate you.
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BandTMom
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Nov 4 @ 7:17PM
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I think you may be on to something. Maybe my old Crown Vic knew that it's days were numbered so it threw a rod to help things along. 
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rockerchick1968
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Nov 4 @ 7:28PM
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givin you a kudo for this one!
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moon_watcher53
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Nov 4 @ 7:38PM
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Its a Detroit conspiracy !!
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Wing_Zero_75
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Nov 4 @ 8:22PM
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hehe Is your truck for sale? I know a few teenagers who need a good runnning over. I will buy her, and hug her and squeeze her and call her Christine. 
Larry
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GotMeOneNow
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Nov 4 @ 9:44PM
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Has your truck been talking to my car again? Damn I wish I know what car dating site THEY were using?!? 
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luneib
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Nov 4 @ 9:46PM
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When I bought my first car in my 20s it was brand new, but had a broken motor mount, talk about acceleration, it went so fast around the corner, got that fixed right away, dangerous stuff.
Yeah, I think our cars know when we are about to trade them in lol. One of my last cars I traded in decided to get an oil leak before I traded her in, yeah, it knew I swear lol.
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ceecee1952
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Nov 4 @ 10:19PM
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snicker...
good read
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tentfire
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Nov 4 @ 10:44PM
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wash and wax it once a week Can you come demonstrate, on my car, how to do that? If you show me how to wash/wax it several times, I might remember how really well. 
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luvshorses644
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Nov 5 @ 12:13AM
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Shite... I for one have missed your lunacy..
and I would guess that would mean that all mechanical things (run by gas, electricity, battery, etc.) also know or sense when "their time or jig is up".. can you imagine what they (chainsaw, refrig, ummm, battery operated handheld devices *blushing*) might be conspiring to do????
Run... and make sure that you have stripped yourselves of all things that could know they will be next..
Thanks for the chuckle...ya piece of work.
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Borty
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Nov 5 @ 5:09AM
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Why just the other day I was watching television and it wasn't even turned on. 
Its all a mind control conspiracy by person made devices....gawd only knows what those vibrators have in store for us..I think we are gonna get f***ed... 
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misschoos
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Nov 9 @ 2:52PM
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I ate mine last week.
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