I decided to type a how to guide to making a profile on Matchdoctor. Just a little common sense that seems to be lacking. In all fairness I will do one for boys and girls. Girls first.
1, Be tasteful. Remember, the type of bait you put out attracts a certain tye of person. If your tits are hanging out, then you will probably attract a pervert. That blows your whole nice , "I would never do that" mentality out the f*cking window.
2, Have kids? DONT POST THEIR PICS. I repeat, DONT POST THEIR PICS. For those of you who still dont get it, just shoot yourself, or give your children to people with more than 2 brain cells and IQ points. With all of the crimes against children, making yours a target is the stupidist f*cking thing to do. Found the man of your dreams? Oops, he was a child molester. Now your child is f*cked in the head beyond repair, Bravo.
3, Be hoest and upfront. If your looking for someone to take care of you, then say so. It irritates me to no end than to find out the person you are interested in, is in love with your bank acount. Dont bother with the romance shit in a profile if all you want is a free lunch for being a sex slave.
4, Learn to spell. For the love of Hell or whatever god you believe in, just do it. Im looking for my soal mate just doesnt cut it. I can understand typo's, but come on, some words are just so far out in left field, I wonder if they are still in the game.
Alright, boys. I am an equal oppurtunity bitcher, no one left behind or left out.
1, No one wants to see a picture of your little giggle stick. Seriously, what kind of woman are you going to attract? The ones that have been taken down and passed around 99 more diseases on the wall. *coughs*
2, The kid thing. I would say women are the sane ones, but I remember a little girl stuffed in a suitcase named Sandra Cantu. A mother of one child murdered that little girl.
3, If your going to throw around names of philosophers or authors, SPELL THE NAME RIGHT. Damn guys, you throw out the intellectual facade with that one.
4, Honesty. Guys, if your looking for a sex slave to support say so. You will probably get better results with, looking to support a young woman with firm breasts and a high sex drive, than I want eternal love.
And this is for both men and women, the comments men and women leave, mostly men. There is one woman here I kind of have a crush on, and she had some pics with a comment so rude, I wanted to beat that prick with in an inch of his life and then kick the rest out of him. Another one of my favorites is why do women cry. Because you post that f*cking comment.
Just keep it classy and respectful and maybe, just maybe, you will have better luck.
*disclaimer* This blog is NOT endorsed by MD. My views and comments are an attempt at humor with a slight sting of reality. I love kids, I really do. I would hate to see anyone of the children with pics here hurt because their parent f*cked up and thought with their crotch. The rest are just suggestions for making my veiwing experience MUCH better. The only thing in this world that I cherish as much as cats, is innocence. Something stolen and long forgotten in me.
Larry
This has been an unpaid advertisement for the Church Of Larry, Making people smarter one smack to the head at a time.
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Hooks

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Nov 4 @ 8:41PM
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Kudos on not posting pics of your kids!
It very much is an attraction to pedophiles, and you never know who might want to copy the pic, and use it for scams. Just recently a family found out pics of their 15 month old son was posted on a Canadian Adoption (scam) site. I'm sure you remember the dad that posted his son in the tub, and it ended up on a kiddie porn site.
Personally if you have children under 16, I don't think you should bring your date into your childs life, until the relationship is becoming a permenant thing. It is difficult on everyone if things don't work out.
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Heart2Heart453

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Nov 4 @ 9:16PM
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OMG, I'm dying laughing over here.... not because you're funny...well you are but you're also DEAD on the money.
Maybe you can write my next profile for me...current one says NOTHING but men are always telling me how wonderful my profile sounds and I look 25....lol. yeah I know they are scammers but hey, if they tell me I look 25 I am in LOVE.
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ElmerFudd445

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Nov 4 @ 9:29PM
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And this is for both men and women, the comments men and women leave, mostly men. There is one woman here I kind of have a crush on, and she had some pics with a comment so rude, I wanted to beat that prick with in an inch of his life and then kick the rest out of him.
One point to make Larry... Women can delete those comments from there pics..The ones that don't are the ones that raise a red flag!!
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luneib

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Nov 4 @ 9:52PM
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Seriously speaking, I have a a couple of things to add to that, guys, don't post photos of you with your shirt off, it doesn't look macho to women, it just makes you look sleazy and low class, we don't want to see your chest, leave a little mystery for the ladies.
Also, if you put I am a God fearing person in your profile, you will be thought of as a scammer even if you are not, I've seen this on regular profiles, non scammer profiles. The reason no one is writing you? That could be the reason.
Larry, not being as serious as above lol, I loved what you wrote, too funny.
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Wing_Zero_75

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Nov 4 @ 9:54PM
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Well...... she is Asian and might not understand the conotations.
I did think of that though.
Larry
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RightWingRepublican

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Nov 4 @ 10:18PM
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You summed that up nicely.
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