Here is a recipe for a
Quick/Easy/Simple ways for
HOW TO START A FIGHT WITH YOUR WIFE
Use at your own risk
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a weighing scale.
And then the fight started...
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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
So, I took her to a gas station..
And then the fight started...
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' She sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Naaah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
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my wife was standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed..
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first:
the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the driveway.'
And then the fight started...
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| Here is a recipe 4 Quick/Easy/Simple ways on HOW TO START A FIGHT WITH YOUR WIFE |
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pinkypaula2
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Nov 6 @ 8:10PM
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iglooo101
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Nov 6 @ 8:36PM
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Good news is IT WILL NEVER FAIL....
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bardnsage
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Nov 6 @ 8:48PM
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My wife was standing beside the bed,
looking at the hundreds of bottles and tubes of make-up.
"what are you doing?" I asked.
"I need to change my color with the season, and I'm trying to find the right ones."
"Why do you have to change colors?" I asked.
"So I can look better. But I think I'm going to have to order what I need."
"How much is that going to cost."
She sighed, "About a hundred and fifty dollars."
"Shit, I can make you look better and save money."
"How are you going to do that smart guy?" she asked.
I flipped off the light switch.
That's when the fight started.
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wstang69
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Nov 6 @ 9:26PM
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umm... how did you hear how my fights started?
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Blaiserboy
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Nov 6 @ 9:31PM
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Are these the APPROVED methods....??
Do we have proof that they would work.?
and..... is there a guaranty...?
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ladyvampire
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Nov 6 @ 10:47PM
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ya know, I am sure that guy ended up sleeping on the couch on more than one occasion... and am quite sure she rearranged his looks a few times
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leprichaun_magic
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Nov 6 @ 11:10PM
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,,oh ---are you stirring things up again ..Iggy?lol:) 
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iglooo101
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Nov 6 @ 11:43PM
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Blaiserboy,
yes, tried, tested and true
and yes, they are guaranteed by NESTLE
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iglooo101
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Nov 6 @ 11:46PM
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The idea is to add some "Salt,Pepper and Suspense" to the relationship
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bardnsage
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Nov 7 @ 1:46AM
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The idea is to add some "Salt,Pepper and Suspense" to the relationship
I thought that happened every 28 days,,, weather you needed it or not. 
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tentfire
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Nov 7 @ 4:13AM
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AverageJoe
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Nov 7 @ 9:21AM
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Dam, all I had to say was good morning! And the fight started.
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