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The First Email to a Woman

posted 12/8/2009 9:44:56 AM |
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Here is you chance, you one shot to get her to reply and hopefully meet the woman. Your chance to stand out and not be like all the others that land in her inbox. Accept first off that you will get rejected, but don't take it personally, it really is a numbersgame but understand there are things you can do to increase your odds.

We already know a lot of you type one email and copy and paste it and send it out to many women. I guess there is nothing wrong with that providing it is a good one. Remember this though, a lot of us have single girlfriends on the same site and you might get busted with that.

A few lines are good for the first email and not about you. Notice something in the woman's profile, remark on it, be humerous if at all possible. Let her know you payed attention and not just to her picture. We know you are visually stimulated, that's a given. Don't be scared. We know the scared ones, they just send a "hi, how are you today?". They are hoping we will then take the lead. Wrong, we want you to take the lead.

Expect to exchange a few emails, we are sizing you up as are you. Don't ask us to go to dinner in the first email. We probably want to chat for about a week then meet somewhere there is a door close by. We hope you want the same. Don't talk about what you want in a relationship right off the bat either. We then think you are not really looking at us but more looking to fill the spot in the passenger seat of your truck with a body. If we get the feeling you are looking for an instant relationship and you will settle if we tell you what you want to hear, we will lace up our sneakers and run. Think about it, what flags do you look for? We look for the same.

Make your first email humerous, make her smile and don't try to sell yourself. Show your personality and if you click then you will know it may be something real. Don't be boring or suggestive. Leave room for her to reply. Ask open ended questions, not a yes or no question. I received an email the other day and all it said was "You can relax now, your search is over." Hmmmm, that wasn't bad really. It did require some thought be put into my reply. Just be different. Make her feel safe and make her smile and you are in.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by robinincarolina:
Yes We Like Nice Guys, but there is a Catch
The First Email to a Woman
Most Annoying Men in the Internet Dating World
Online Profile Pictures


Dec 8 @ 10:01AM  
Nice blog, but you left out one minor thing.

Don't use the "F" word in the first email.

Dec 8 @ 10:13AM  
Great blog,,,

I'm very dissappointed to find out my cut and paste email is not the right thing to do. You ladies are talking,, so I guess you figured out I send it to everyone.

I didn't think anyone could resist,,,

"Nice rack, let's bump uglies as we make the beast with two backs."

But now that I know the wonderful ladies on MD are talking to each other, it explains why only one person ever responded,,, and he thought I was a chick.

I sure could use some more lessons about this online writing stuff. I'm just not very good at explaining to someone what I am feeling. Seems I can just talk, no problem, but when I get to thinking romantic stuff I get all bumfuddled and feebleminded.

Can you help a brother out?

Post some more blogs!!!!!

Dec 8 @ 11:10AM  
this was in another dating site . a black woman wants a white guy she can use for HER pleasure . this is the first e-mail . in it she writes " I want you to spank me do as you please " first e-mail . Does this woman REALLY think it will net us men her e-mail screams BAIT . either she is baiting or is a prositute . I will spell it out ofr you ladies . you first want to meet the guy . I know what your thinking . first date are ALWAYS awkward . go for coffee . this way no presure . next date NOT in 5 hours . your next date should be a week after meeting . IF he can't wait that long . then you know he wants one thing from you .

Dec 8 @ 11:24AM  
I adore what you say and I've already fallen head over heals about you !
I just ordered a big diamond engagement ring for you in hopes you will
readily accept in on my bent knee !
Do you feel the same love that I am feeling ??
I am going to remove my profile after sending this so other ladies will not
be mailing me !
I hope that your acceptance of the big ring will lead to my
proposal to you but first,
I have big business I need to take care of in Nigeria.
My late great great grandfather left me a hole in the ground
and I must return to my homeland to see if there is oil spewing
from it.
Please give me your promise and CC# that you'll be waiting for
my speedy return !!
As always, your loving

Dec 8 @ 11:28AM  

Well at least you can spell, that is a huge plus!

Dec 8 @ 1:33PM  
I try never to 'coach' spammers/scammers by telling them how to get in next to me. You are providing education to the fakes. You might wish to delete this blog. Otherwise, you are arming them against yourself.

Dec 8 @ 2:16PM  
Nice one Robin, you did forget that e-mails should be proofread !!!!

I wrote to a woman the other night when I was dead tired and couldn't sleep. After I read it over I scratched my head and said "I REALLY need more sleep". I don't where that e-mail came from but from the pain in my rear I have a good ideal :(

I've also learned that I got more responses from forum entries and I guess now blog posts than any e-mails.

Keep stimulating the mind, that's one of the reasons I returned to MD.


Dec 8 @ 3:54PM  
Howdy! Are you'uns a good cook. If so, I shore would tucker up to be invited over to supper for our'ns first date. It that works out, you'uns and we'uns could go over to the big state championship tractor pull, that they are having outside of Asheville next weekend. You'll have to drive, since I lost my license after my 10th DUI.

I have many fine qualities. I am a graduate of the sixth grade at Beech Community School up in the Reems Creek Valley north of Asheville. I am the Senior Deacon in charge of snake handling at the Sandy Mush Church of God of Prophecy, and the assistant weekend director of Sam's Used Cars and Tanning Salon in Sodom Hollow, NC.

We'uns will jest have a fine ole time, if you'uns bring the Miller in a cooler.


Lester P. Kuykendall, Sodom Hollow, NC

Dec 8 @ 6:09PM  
Dear Robin,

Will you plz critique this letter of mine I'm about to send:

HI! My name is Hector, I'm a very charming and handsome 52 yr old geezer who really likes yer profile, and I'm wondering if you would care to exchange with me the letter? As you so wonderfully stated in your profile, I too, don't judge a book by its cover, and agree that its indeed the story inside of a person that makes them attractive!

You appear by your pictures to look like an interesting read, and I have a couple of fun tales I'll tell you some sweet night too, if you might reply...bye!

a very ardent MD practicitioner


Dec 8 @ 7:39PM  
Oh chubs, I would love to critique your letter. One word will do. NEXT! Silly man.

Dec 8 @ 7:46PM  
I try never to 'coach' spammers/scammers by telling them how to get in next to me. You are providing education to the fakes. You might wish to delete this blog. Otherwise, you are arming them against yourself.

her advice actually prevents the typical spammer/scammer exchanges. she has made some very good suggestions, especially for the purpose of our site. getting to know them via the secure email here is encouraged, at least by us. it doesn't usually take too long to expose a fake. (genuine 'players' may be a lot harder to detect, of course)

Dec 8 @ 7:58PM  
Well...dang it....

I have been trying all day to come up with something....anything...even vaguely clever to impress and over whelm you with my charming personality.

Today is not the day I guess. Either that, or I just don't have a personality.

I do want to say one thing to Chubs though, if you don't mind.....

Hey Chubs....let me help you out....(heh heh...which door did ya come in?) can't be a geezer at the tender age of 52 fer goodness sakes! Not until one reaches the age of 60 65 ....I mean.....75! Thanks Bro....

Thank you for allowing me to straighten that young lad out Miss Robin....and maybe next time I might think of something that will tickle your fancy.

Dec 8 @ 8:10PM  
Getting rid of those black eyes would be a good start!

Dec 8 @ 11:32PM  
I thought about this,,, and you,, all day. It's not often I am faced with a puzzle that gives me pause in my hours away from MD.

So, Kudo's,, for such a great topic.

I would like to continue reading your blogs, and you can read mine of course. And if you like we can exchange emails.

My idea of great first date, would be to meet at the police station. If it's warm, we can walk along and do some window shopping down town. Maybe down the to big church with those wonderful old oak trees. If it's a touch rainy or chilly, like it is right now,,, we can duck into Laniers.

They have some of the best stuff, that you can not find anywhere else in town. And even if you don't buy anything, there are some great conversation pieces in there. Walk an aisle, and pick up just about anything. And I also think they have about the only Cast Iron Cookware in town. But be warned, I've never left there without remembering at least 4 projects I have to do.

Then, we can cross the street and have lunch at the Main Street Cafe. Their manicotti is fantastic. For desert,, we can pop in next door to the candy factory. Of course, if you like, we can skip the canday and walk down to the Japanese resturant at the end of the block. They have --- hold your breath -- DEEP FRIED CHEESE CAKE.

Just a casual afternoon.

By the way,,, are you a Speedy's Fan, Center BBQ Fan, LexBBQ, or Stameys person? I know there are more, but these are the one's I've tried. Last week at Speedy's,, they put some extra skins on my plate. I've always wanted the try Tarheel,, down at the river,,, but just never got around to it.

I've also never tried the Ice Cream place near Center,,, is it any good?

Well,, thanks for the letting me comment, and thanks for the mental stimulation for the day.

Be well.
, (how's that?)


Dec 15 @ 6:24AM  
Thanks Robin, always interested in learning more how to be nice to a lady, and what they want and don't want.


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