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Until then....

posted 6/11/2011 12:56:48 AM |
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tagged: friendship, loyalty

As we travel though this life, we share good times and occasionally we suffer the sadder moments.. and it is when we experience these moments we reach out to someone who will listen.
Being a friend isn’t just about sharing the laughs and times when life was at its highest point, it’s also about being there when things get tough.
Sadly not so many people have that gift.
Some can see a person in need as a burden, or someone who just wants to rant.. and they let them talk whilst their minds drift elsewhere allowing them to unload their grief without actually interacting. A nod here, a smile there, disguises the fact that the listener isn’t actually listening at all.

But once upon a time I met someone who not only became one of my greatest friends, but she was also my confidant. Never a secret did she ever disclose and whenever I poured out my worries or fears she listened.
I remember once, I asked her a question amid my rants to check she was listening, .. she answered immediately and smiled.
I should have known not to doubt her, but life’s experiences of people who have pretended to be a listener have switched off when I tried to confide.

Having someone to talk to whether it be relative or friend, is important to our sanity and even our health,
Bottling things has been proven to be harmful, as the thoughts and feelings grow within us and can eventually cause destructive actions.
Most of us have been let down at one time or another, a secret revealed, a confidence shared or taking important things of what we said as flippant.

I met my friend in 1994, we bonded immediately and throughout the passing years we shared many an adventure, traveled throughout Europe and shared lodgings off and on. No matter where we found ourselves, we would always wind up back together again.

I saw her for the last time in Portugal last October. We shared a few beers whilst sitting near the beach at our favourite bar.

When she left that evening, I saw her wave and smile from the beach steps.
I never thought for one moment that I would never see her again.

I wished her happy Christmas on FB and in March I wished her happy birthday.. I thought she may have been on her travels again when she failed to respond.

Then when I went to her page to see what she was up to, I found a list of condolences to her family. Blood rushed to my face and I immediately contacted one of the posters.
They e mailed me back to say they were so sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but my friend had passed away the previous week.
I had known she was ill, she had told me in October, but she was confident she was going to pull though with chemotherapy. She was bright and happy when I saw her last and I had no reason to disbelieve her.

With a heavy heart I arranged for flowers to be sent to her funeral.

When she died, she took with her a multitude of my secrets.. only she and she alone knew my deepest thoughts...

To me, she was an amazing person, she loved life and was truly one of those people who stopped to smell the roses. I remember chastising her once when we were late for something and she stopped to admire a flowering shrub.

I have not only lost a true and loving friend, but I have lost my keeper of secrets and the world itself has lost a beautiful lady.

I am sad that I didn’t get to talk to her again, but at the same time I am glad that the last time I saw her, she was smiling, with a beer in her hand and the smell of the sea in the air.

True friends are few and far between, I loved her as much as I could love anyone, and I will miss her more than I can ever say.

Life can be wonderful and death can come too soon..

So to my dearest darling friend, I say goodnight, thank you for all the times we shared and the light you shined wherever you went.

We may sit together again.. in another place.. way beyond the stars.. where the beach will be our backdrop and the smell of the sea will fill the air...

until then my friend..... until then.....

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Jun 11 @ 1:06AM  
she will always be in your heart.

Jun 11 @ 1:29AM  

Jun 11 @ 2:31AM  

i'm sorry you lost such a good friend,,, but hope you realize NOT everyone is fortunate enough to bond so well with another. again, sorry she has passed.

Jun 11 @ 2:57AM  
I know this loss only too well and I'm sorry, C.

This is a beautiful tribute to her.

Jun 11 @ 4:36AM  
I am very sorry that you lost her.... that the world lost her....and that you never got to see her again. Like you said, maybe it is the best that it happened that way. Never doubt that she knew you loved her, as I am sure she loved you.

A life is but a moment in time
And ends in the blink of an eye
... a love is always forever...
Like the soul, that learns how to fly.

by Sybil F.


Jun 11 @ 5:44AM  
Words are inadequate.

I am so sorry for your loss, but so happy that you had such a wonderful friend amid your journey.


Jun 11 @ 6:41AM  
I am so sorry charli ...............big hugs

Jun 11 @ 8:04AM  
I am sorry Charli..Friends like that are rare indeed..Am glad you had a friend like that,not many get that chance.She will always be with you with your memories.

Jun 11 @ 8:17AM  
I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's great to see you back, tho.

Jun 11 @ 8:26AM  
You were very lucky to have such a great friend and visa versa. I'm glad your last visual memory was so pleasant and of course it hurts to read of her passing.

My gosh, it is good to see you post again although the post made my eyes moist.

We need a blog bringing us up to date on what's life been doing with YOU.

I miss you.

Jun 11 @ 9:01AM  
May the lose in your heart heal with the remembrance of your friend.

We do miss you here..

Jun 11 @ 10:05AM  
SO good to see you again, Charli!

I am so sorry about the loss of your cherished friend...but..OMG! The happy memories and smiles and comfort you are blessed to have from her! What a treasured legacy!

Put up a pic of her where you can look when feeling will help...

Jun 11 @ 11:05AM  
my condolences, Charligurl. We have memories so as to be able to smell roses in the winter. Your words are a wonderful remembrance.

Jun 11 @ 1:37PM  
Wow Charli, so sorry about the loss of such a wonderful friend. Just by reading your tribute to her, she definitely enriched your life and I can see you truly appreciated her. Yes, you will see her again.
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