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Men With Pussies...

posted 12/8/2011 9:40:29 PM |
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tagged: fender, loves, donkey, kong

First off, let me explain this title...Where I live amongst the French people they all refer to their cat's as pussies. Out of 5 people I know...3 of them have a cat called pussy. Why? Well I don't know...That's just the way they roll I guess.

...So here is my issue, albeit it's more of a dilemma! I have this thing...I kind of dislike cat's. I've alway's been a dog person. It's not that I don't like animals...It's just cat's. They scare me. A long time ago when I was in grade 6 my Aunt Darlene gave me a kitten for passing. He was all black and his name was Melvin. I loved him soooo much. He got ran over by a car one day when I was at school and just made it to the front porch. I was devestated, it took me a long time to even want to have another pet after that.

Which brings me to Pussy. My best friend who grew up next door to me was pure French. I'm half and half by the way, in case you were wondering why I am awesome at writing in English.(Just a joke, damn relax!) Her cat was named Pussy. One day I was going to her house and her mom Solange was outside. She told me "Fender, va pas dan la maison, Pussy, elle et malade!" Which basically means, don't go in the house, Pussy is sick.

...I asked her what kind of sick because it seemed odd to me that a 40 something year old woman would be outside cowering in her front yard hiding from a cat. She wasn't sure but she assured me the cat had gone crazy. I told her no way, I would go in the house and get the cat. So in I went. I called the cat's name. It didn't come. I had known that cat since it was a kitten and it alway's came to me. So I went into the kitchen and saw Pussy on top of the fridge, the next thing I know the cat is shrieking and jumped on my neck clawing me to shreds...Well you can guess what happened next, can't you?

I ran the hell out of that house screaming "Pussy et malade puis j'ai peur!" Pussy is sick and I'm scared! I literally had gashes running down my neck. The pain was horrible. It turns out the cat had gotten some kind of illness where it goes whacky and attacks people. Ever since then I've been nervous around cats.

...This is my dilemma, soon I will be somewhere surrounded by 2 cats. These cats are liked by their owner. What if these cat's decide they don't like me and decide to attack me while I am sleeping? What if they tell their Dad I'm not good enough? I'm not a cat person...

I guess that means they will just have to go to the shelter. For a visit of course, not for keeps. Why do I alway's like men with pussies? WHY WHY WHY? Quel dommage!

...I'm going to be brave. After all...I'm sure those cat's will like me. It's not like I'm some crazy bitch. I'm just me, Fender. It's going to be utterly fabulous I'm sure and I shouldn't let a little thing like cats get in the way of me having an awesome visit, after all...I think all the fun stuff I'm going to do and have done to me...Well it will be worth spending time around 2 cats.

So that's that. Plus I'm excited and I felt like sharing.


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Dec 8 @ 9:46PM  
i like pussys.......i have a pussy posse

Dec 8 @ 9:46PM  
Aww man I did not want everyone to know I have two cats.

Nice tags too by the way. Please accept a kudo for the cats
and tags.

Dec 8 @ 9:50PM  
pussies are nice

Dec 8 @ 9:55PM  
We here in Kentucky or my part of the woods call cats pussies all the time. Even when I named them, I would still call them that. Not as much any more because the grandkids jump on me for calling them that. LOL. Great blog as usual Fender.

Dec 8 @ 9:59PM  
A little secret....set them up with their food and water bowls and litter box in a separate room while you are there and keep the door shut. Pussies are very independent creatures.

Dec 8 @ 10:14PM  
You are gonna be mauled.....



Nah....nevermind....all you need in the house is another drunk pu... know.

Dec 8 @ 10:24PM  

Okeee...who, what, where, when???

Dec 8 @ 10:53PM  
hmmm.. All I can think about is the Pink Panther.. Having a cat to attack you when you come home.. Knowing most cats... 10 minutes later, he was fine.. was just having some fun..

Dec 8 @ 11:01PM  
cats can't be trusted ... I have 3 .. I know what I'm talking about.. go see your friend but tread lightly around the cats.

Dec 8 @ 11:42PM  
I've got a great big hairy pussy with large sharp wonder I have a problem getting laid....

Dec 8 @ 11:53PM  
A little secret.

When you have had enough of a cat's companionship, rapidly pat them on the head, saying "Nice pussy, Nice pussy". The owner loves it, not so the cat.

If that is insufficient, turn your ring so the stone is down. Vigorously pat,pat, pat, nice pussy. Owner glows, cat exits.

Works every time.

Dec 9 @ 12:41AM  
@ ttom .. you are bad!!!

Dec 9 @ 3:42AM  
Yes, but these cats will love you Ms Fender, so not to worry.

Dec 9 @ 4:07AM  

Well, I don't know about that disease that makes the cat go nuts! Here we makes sure they gets the shots and be sure to be clean and all.

Still got three kittens, and it looks like mum's keeping them, her boyfriend bought a thing for the cats... you know, that wooden thing, with the carpets and ropes all over it... those cats, all five of them, daddy, mummy, and the kittens, they sleeps on the platforms and one of the kitten loves the box, nice hidey place...

I even offers mum $300 bucks for her to give the kittens away to good families, three good families... but mum wanna keeps them, big soft hearted that she is... oh well... looks like we're crowded, until I can get my starscapes up and running, making real profits, then I can move out and finally experience what it's like to live in a house with NO animales underfood and whatever they leaves behind to clean up at all hours of the day and night!!!!

Oh well. Maybe one day.

Good blog, though.

Dec 9 @ 4:23AM  
I share your sentiments completely Dahlink.

Dec 9 @ 9:22AM  
This kinda reminds me of Tom Jones..
What's new pussycat?
Pussy cat, pussy cat, where are you???

Dec 17 @ 9:24AM  
I hear Canada has a problem with killer attack Kitties, that like to snack on people parts[ fingers, toes, etc]..must be da cold weather of sumptim.

No biggie though....just sleep with one eye open and you'll be fine.
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