First, what dating isn't:
* A sexual opportunity
* What you do to impress others
* A conquest
According to Webster's Dictionary, a date is a scheduled time to
meet with another. Sadly, some people treat dating as
one of the three things above. The number one purpose of dating
(spending planned time together) is to build a friendship. When you
skip the friendship phase in a relationship and immediate jump to
the romantic phase, you are begging for trouble.
Every blissful relationship is built on a solid friendship. Not on
awesome sex, religious beliefs or common dreams and goals -- all
those things can change over time - the only thing you can count on
to remain is a strong and loving friendship.
It is very difficult to be lovers first and then try to become
friends second. So, how can you date in a way that encourages the
building of a friendship first?
* Save any sort of physical connection (hugging, kissing, holding
hands, etc.) until AFTER you have already become close friends and
are ready for the next stage. It should be RARE that you make it
past the friendship stage. If everyone you ever date makes it past
the friend stage then you are extremely needy and have little self-control.
* Don't go out for "romantic" dates early on. Dates such as:
charming restaurants, lakeside picnics or to the opera.
* Do go out on "friendship" dates like: bowling, eating pizza,
playing tennis and volunteer work.
* Avoid discussions early in the dating stage like how many
children you want, what you are looking for in a husband/wife, deep
secrets that you would only tell your closest friends.
* Use caution in telling your friends if you feel strongly about
the person you are dating. (Friends have a way of spreading
secrets and ruining relationships). Don't let friends push your
relationship beyond a friendship until you know it is time.
* Do not buy your friend expensive presents or items that can
construed as "romantic."
* Don't invite your friend on a weekend getaway (unless it is a
group activity).
* Refer to your friend as "friend." Avoid calling them your
"boyfriend," "girlfriend," "significant other" or other non-friend
title until you have built a really strong friendship and are ready
to get more serious in the relationship.
Dating. It is done best as friends first.
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