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BLISSFUL SECRETS

posted 1/15/2012 8:38:29 AM |
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  captainromance

First, what dating isn't:

* A sexual opportunity

* What you do to impress others

* A conquest

According to Webster's Dictionary, a date is a scheduled time to

meet with another. Sadly, some people treat dating as

one of the three things above. The number one purpose of dating

(spending planned time together) is to build a friendship. When you

skip the friendship phase in a relationship and immediate jump to

the romantic phase, you are begging for trouble.

Every blissful relationship is built on a solid friendship. Not on

awesome sex, religious beliefs or common dreams and goals -- all

those things can change over time - the only thing you can count on

to remain is a strong and loving friendship.

It is very difficult to be lovers first and then try to become

friends second. So, how can you date in a way that encourages the

building of a friendship first?

* Save any sort of physical connection (hugging, kissing, holding

hands, etc.) until AFTER you have already become close friends and

are ready for the next stage. It should be RARE that you make it

past the friendship stage. If everyone you ever date makes it past

the friend stage then you are extremely needy and have little self-control.

* Don't go out for "romantic" dates early on. Dates such as:

charming restaurants, lakeside picnics or to the opera.

* Do go out on "friendship" dates like: bowling, eating pizza,

playing tennis and volunteer work.

* Avoid discussions early in the dating stage like how many

children you want, what you are looking for in a husband/wife, deep

secrets that you would only tell your closest friends.

* Use caution in telling your friends if you feel strongly about

the person you are dating. (Friends have a way of spreading

secrets and ruining relationships). Don't let friends push your

relationship beyond a friendship until you know it is time.

* Do not buy your friend expensive presents or items that can

construed as "romantic."

* Don't invite your friend on a weekend getaway (unless it is a

group activity).

* Refer to your friend as "friend." Avoid calling them your

"boyfriend," "girlfriend," "significant other" or other non-friend

title until you have built a really strong friendship and are ready

to get more serious in the relationship.

Dating. It is done best as friends first.


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Comments:
ladyvampire

Jan 15 @ 9:35AM  
Bravo!!!!! Standing ovation
Fayvorite

Jan 15 @ 11:53AM  
PrettyGreenEyes578

Jan 16 @ 8:12AM  
This is precisely true.

Unfortunately, too many individuals want instant this or instant that - whatever fits his or her agendas.

Coupled with individuals of poor character and the probability of dating a quality individual (male for me) dwindles down significantly.

Dating is a time of getting to know someone and if there is reason for a friendship to begin.

Without a solid friendship and the individual can be trusted as a true friend, there is no reason to kick things up a notch.

A solid foundation has to be built.

Saying "no" to sex weeds out undesirables early on.

An individual will generally tell you about themselves if you are truly tuned in and listening.

Don't ever settle for less.
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BLISSFUL SECRETS