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I'm a Senior Citizen

posted 3/27/2013 11:23:44 AM |
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tagged: humor

* I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 PM.

* I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

* I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

* I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

* I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

* I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.

* I'm very good at telling stories ... over and over and over and over.

* I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

* I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care.

* I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians.

* I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired.

* I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.

* I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

* I'm having trouble remembering simple words like........

* I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.

* I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.

* I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

* I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.

* I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA'S, AARP.

* I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

* I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!

Now If I could only remember who sent this to me! You didn't, did you?

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Mar 27 @ 11:30AM  
I saw this many years ago. What was funny then is pertinent now

Mar 27 @ 12:26PM  

Mar 27 @ 12:28PM  
I should be crying cause they all apply to ME!!!!!!!!

Mar 27 @ 2:21PM  

* I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

I have to have operations on my hands, and asked at the pharmacy if I could just get snap on caps instead of the childproof ones. It wouldn't have surprised me if flashing lights & sirens had started going off you would have thought I asked for some one to be killed. I had to sign two forms releasing everyone in the world from liability. The world has gone crazy!

Mar 27 @ 5:22PM  
I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA'S, AARP.
Uh huh lol.
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