Free Dating

Mastering The Perfect Partnership

posted 2/8/2017 12:26:11 PM |
11 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
tagged: relationships, romance, dating

At one time or another, people joined this site in hopes of meeting a mate. You know, as in that dating kind of thing? Now, it's just a political cesspool and the likelihood of meeting someone is slim. The good thing? You can see exactly how someone responds in real life to a disagreement. Notice the name-calling, insults, attempts at humiliation and degradation? That's exactly how that person will respond to a disagreement with a partner, make no mistake about that. Also note who has the guts to apologize or admit they were wrong.

This site aside, what holds a relationship together? We all know that communication is the key to keeping the relationship alive - but what kind of communication? That doesn't mean talking at him or her, getting your own way and disregarding the other person's input. Communicating with your partner and understanding their perception of reality is the key.

What a concept. How does that work? We all have our own perception of reality, and no matter how close we are to another person, it's highly unlikely that any two people will see reality in exactly the same manner. Understand your partner's perception of reality and communicate with them on that basis.

What else? To me, kindness, honesty, sincerity and a sense of humour are some of the most attractive qualities a man can have. Those are the values that are most important to me in any relationship. Unfortunately, as a young woman, I didn't look for someone with the same values, so it wasn't really any wonder that the relationship failed.

Knowing yourself, your values, your issues, and what is and is not important to you is going to assist in any disagreement and how you respond. It's not about being right or getting your own way, it's about why is there a disagreement and how can it be resolved so that both people are satisfied with the outcome?

The biggest one? Putting your ego aside. That doesn't mean to put yourself second all the time. It means realizing that a discussion is your partner's way of letting you know their needs are not being met. The biggest assumption that partners make in a relationship is that they need to be shown love the same way that we need to be shown love.

Me? I enjoy a touch on the arm, a hug around the shoulders, a kiss on the neck, top of the head or forehead. Any little touch that lets me know my partner's aware of my presence. Birthdays and holidays, I love gifts and flowers. They don't have to be expensive, simply a token of my partner's appreciation. And yes, I want to hear those three little words.

Not everyone likes to be acknowledged in those ways. Perhaps my partner does not like PDA's and their way of receiving love is spending quality time with their partner, words of affirmation (I love you), or acts of service (eg -making your partner their favourite meal). Once you understand how your partner prefers to receive love, a deeper trust and intimacy can be formed with less chance of disagreement through miscommunication and misunderstanding.

However, honest, sincere communication entails a significant degree of trust, but also releasing the need to control either a situation or another person. We all have control issues, and it's paramount to a successful relationship to understand which ones we have, and how they are manifested.

I would say that almost everyone has said, well, the partner I want is going to be ......, and thus ensues a list of wants. What it comes down to, though, is what are we bringing to the table and what are we prepared to give? Personally, I love spoiling my mate, provided I feel valued and loved. That doesn't mean I want a clone of myself in any relationship, as I think it's really important that people retain their autonomy in pursuing their own interests and hobbies. Conversely, it's equally important to be able to share some interests and hobbies - balance. Some people want/need to spend all their time with their mate - and that's fine provided each person's needs are being met.

Instead of the finger-pointing in a disagreement (well, you did this - yeah, well you did that), rather than blaming, discuss why the disagreement occurred, why your partner's upset, and accept your responsibility in the process of the disagreement. Sometimes (most times) that means swallowing your ego and apologizing and accepting that you could have done something better or differently.

And guess what? You don't die when you apologize or admit you're wrong. That was one of the hardest things I learned after my marriage failed. It was a learned behaviour and to this day, my mother cannot apologize or admit she's wrong - ever. The first time I apologized to a mate was actually very freeing. It gave me a better sense of control over myself, and an understanding of my own issues.

When you're unaware of your own issues and what caused any previous relationship breakdown, it's pretty much impossible to not re-create the same type of relationship with every future partner. It's true that unless you fix what went wrong the first time, you're bound to continue repeating those same mistakes. And no, it's not all the other person's fault.

It seems almost an oxymoron to say that the key to a good relationship is self-awareness. But without being aware of our own issues, how can we possibly expect to nurture a healthy relationship with anyone else? When we become self-aware, we also can become more giving, more accepting, and more understanding of others.

It's easy to fill in that list of 'what I want in a partner' and for a partner to say, yeah, I can fill that list. It's a lot harder to fill in the list that says, what are you prepared to give because it requires a level of trust, honesty and vulnerability that few of us are willing to be open about.

I'm not sure anyone 'masters' being a perfect partner, but we can excel at a relationship by being able to give love the way our partner needs it, and communicate how we expect to receive it without losing ourselves in the relationship.

Mastering a perfect partnership means mastery of being the perfect partner, from both people.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by SimplyImp:
Inuit Elders Warn NASA
The Sniff Test
Story Time
No Shift!
Life, Love, and Options
Green Energy Issues
New Adventures, But No Worms
Creative Culinary Cuisine & The Mad Chef
Good, Better, & Best News!
The Art of Appreciation
What Is Spirituality?
Opinions? Or Masked Beliefs?
Mastering The Perfect Partnership
A Farm Girl At Heart
"EU Must Defend Itself Against A Dangerous President"
Happy Hobbling
Only in Canada
Sometimes, You CAN Judge A Book From It's Cover
Well, That's Done!
Stress Relief from Fight Pickers
Taking Back Control
Episode X of the Liar Strata Nazis
The Art of Being a Gentleman
Where's That P*ssy? or The Continuing Saga of Kitty Capers v Strata Nazis


Feb 8 @ 12:45PM  
Let me be the first, and kudos for a thoughtful blog.

What you see here, is not what I am in real life. That's all I will say on that matter, but I will add a relationship is hard work and I'm retired which makes me happy.


Feb 8 @ 12:45PM  


Feb 8 @ 1:50PM  
I'm not sure anyone 'masters' being a perfect partner,

The last time I heard that "He is perfect in every way" came from
my mom...... the very day I was born.....74 years ago !!

Great blog Imp !!

Feb 8 @ 3:49PM  
An open mind and willingness to accept that we as humans are not perfect to begin with goes a long way also.


Feb 8 @ 4:08PM  
Two women once called me 'jack of all trades..master of none'

Tammy was a democrat and Teresa a Republican and together the three of us formed the best three way partnership you could ever imagine

Nice blog

Feb 8 @ 9:06PM  
Good blog do more! kudos

Feb 8 @ 9:23PM  
I added a Kudo. Very perceptive and well written.

Another word I use to describe what I strive for is healthy communication.

There are some very unhealthy attitudes being aired in the "I am right and you are wrong" political blogs on this site. And you are spot on when you note that this shows what kind of people they would be in a relationship. Toxic.

Ideally we should all strive to become better people. To communicate with each other in a healthy manner. To be respectful and kind.

Feb 9 @ 8:00AM  
A big kudos from me as well. I too truly believe communication is a key to a good relationship but for me the utmost of importance is respect. If someone resorts to name calling or yelling, the respect goes right out the window and communication is shut down. NEXT

The other thing is one needs to reserve judgement in the very beginning of any relationship where their true face is not yet revealed. This is where I see so many make their biggest mistake, especially my own daughter. A guy is nice to her in the beginning and in her mind he is going to be like that forever. It rarely plays out that way.

Feb 9 @ 11:13AM  
not everyone lives and breaths toxic political air...ALL THE YTIME....

some seem to be crazy.... but are not... honest belief is... if anyone judges (me) by the little window of my personality they see here...(as well as the gossip mongers who write about it others...)

and runs to the far side...

they are missing out on the wonders of the universe....
and it's their loss....

hint: I grow weary of those who say that they know someone's true personality because of what they see written here...

anyway.... carry on.....


Apr 14 @ 11:54PM  
To me intelligence is the main key to a great relationship both mental and emotional
IQ and unfortunately that seems to be the hardest thing to find in other human beings these days but when you do find it in other people it usually helps the rest to follow because they are smart enough to know they cannot get away with dishonesty and being Mr Always Right.

Apr 15 @ 1:20AM  
How did you drag this one up, strega? lol. Although it's from last year, it's as true today as it was when I wrote it. Like you, I want both mental and emotional intelligence in a person, along with a sense of humour.


Apr 15 @ 8:24AM  
I didn't realize how old this blog was nor do I remember posting but I stand by my post even more so today as well.

Unfortunately, as a young woman, I didn't look for someone with the same values

I think I looked for one with the same values but values change or mature because my values are very different in these latter years.

Personally, I love spoiling my mate, provided I feel valued and loved.

Just throw in respect to that mix and I too love spoiling as well as being spoiled. Which doesn't necessarily take money. It is hard to put a monetary value on romance or being romantic. Doing something nice for your mate is just romantic to me.

Learning to communicate in the beginning of a relationship is a challenge in itself.

The one thing I've learned having been in multiple relationships, you can't sterotype mates into one category. Some people judge the opposite sex being all the same and they judge it by their one relationship, that doesn't work. We are all different.

Apr 15 @ 10:28AM  
hint: I grow weary of those who say that they know someone's true personality because of what they see written here...

anyway.... carry on.....

yep........ different day same stuff.....

mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2018 Online Singles, LLC.