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The Art of Appreciation

posted 2/11/2017 11:28:23 AM |
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tagged: appreciation, love, relationships, communication
  SimplyImp

As Valentine's Day approaches, I think of the romantic Valentine days I've enjoyed in the past and the wonderful feeling of being appreciated. I think that's one of the biggest things we tend to overlook in a relationship after the bloom of it's newness has worn off.

When a relationship collapses, it's human nature to blame the other person for the failure. However, no relationship fails only because of one person and in order to not repeat the same mistakes in future relationships, it's really important to take responsibility for one's own part in the breakdown.

As most relationships progress, all those little things that seemed to be so special and appreciated, in many cases, turn into unacknowledged expectations. I know they did in my marriage, and I look back and think, I could have shown more appreciation for what he did do, instead of being mad at what he didn't do.

Would it have fixed our relationship? No. I realized many, many years later that our values were totally different and incompatible. However, letting someone know they're appreciated always feels good, for both people. And it's a well known fact that the more people feel appreciated, the more they do for you. I know I do.

That would be something I'd definitely do differently in another relationship - let my partner know that the little things they do for me are very much appreciated. It doesn't need to be anything purchased, although for me, flowers, chocolate and gifts are always a delight to receive, but even a simple thank you for ..... is enough. It's not about receiving a reward, but acknowledgement that the little things you take time and consideration to do are recognized.

Although Valentine's Day is the one day a year when we're supposed to show our appreciation for our partner, I think it's more important to express appreciation every day. After all, if we feel taken for granted, why bother putting any effort into the relationship?

I believe that's partially what happened in my marriage. Neither one of us felt appreciated, and, as a result, both of us stopped trying. As I mentioned previously, there were too many other things that were unfixable, but I know I could have told him how much I appreciated all the things he did for me.

Although Valentine's is traditionally a day to let your partner know how much they're appreciated, if you don't have one, then let your family or your friends know. Everyone likes to feel that their relationship, whatever it is, is appreciated.

This Valentine's Day, let the people who are important to you know what you appreciate about them. But don't wait until the following Valentine's Day to let them know again.

If you have a partner, let them know their presence in your life is special, and why. And do it often. You'll be amazed at how good you'll feel. You may also be surprised at unexpected 'rewards'.



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Comments:
a_simple_man

Feb 11 @ 11:31AM  
~kudos~

great blog....
eastham

Feb 11 @ 12:19PM  
A lovely blog. Thank you.
starzatnight

Feb 11 @ 12:34PM  
Simply,
What great words of wisdom you have shared with us.
We all are, at least, partially responsible for our own happiness.
There is always something to learn from our mistakes.

And it feels good to reach out to send happiness to others, and that is what you have done
here for those willing to grasp it.

I believe that what you give comes back tenfold!!




jimnastics1

Feb 11 @ 4:58PM  
Thank you for the blog.
Now, can I borrow $8 Million.


Seriously, why don't you send a nice card to that kitchen remodeler that you liked.
Tell him how you appreciated his excellent work.
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