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Momma said there'd be days like this...

posted 4/12/2017 1:41:16 PM |
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tagged: satire
  drcocktail




Ok, Ok... Everyone keep your seats. Calm down, it's coming.
Somebody want to restrain that kid smoking that pipe.....what?....his peace pipe, he wants what? Another beer, no tell him this isn't a bar.

OK......we're about ready to begin......Yes Penny, I understand Penny, yes Penny that's why you're in the front row so you can hear. OK I'LL SPEAK LOUDER....

Now,
Are there any Mothers in the crowd, has to be right? The first subject is near and dear to your hearts...'wayward children'. I know Penny, I know. I'm sorry Penny, we'll get to you, just be patient. Ok no more interruptions please......

Yes drac, I know...we didn't start with a prayer, but perhaps we'll end with one. Yes drac, we'll let 'lil fwedsie' lead us. I know he's supposed to be working but he's got a government job so he's probably on another break. Right drac, uh huh, yes Lord of the Socks, verily right. And we'll get him a stool to stand on....OK?

Can we get back to the topic?.....The disappointment some children can bring to their mothers, family.....A mother's love they say is unconditional. And despite how disruptive, how damaging an individual becomes to the fabric of his family, they can always rely on a Mother to wrap them in a blanket of love. Many of those children hate themselves even as they continue to disappoint...

Yes human, you can put your hand down now, no need for the big wave. What about what Indians? Well it 's simple...I suppose one might use the metaphor that he's off the reservation. Perhaps that explains why he acts out. Assimilation, yes that's as good a word as any.

Momma Cass, would you like to say something? Yes, good we're all friends here.

Uh, socklover, we like the rules here. You can't just pop in, puke and leave us to clean up. Momma has the floor and we pretty much have heard everything you have to say. Please be civil or just disappear as is your habit. Yes, we know about your loss. One would have thought you had learned to deal with it by now.....9 years is a long time. OK by! Shame....

Momma we'd all like to hear from you. Please if you feel comfortable sharing.

"Yes, thank you Dr. Maybe I can explain his failure. My son learned something I never taught him. He learned to HATE. He feels he has been a victim, the white man's foil. He has stopped growing, his seed is not fertile. His father planted that seed but was never there to nurture it. It is a lonely seed, abandoned at birth. I have cried many times for him. I believe he hates me for my being. I know he hates himself...he is not proud, he has no pride. It is for me to despise him, not you.

Would someone bring her some water and a towel for her tears.

Mr Crowfoot, sir if I may have a word with you. We haven't met but we have a mutual friend you spoke of in another place, my friend the lawman. Curious he too spoke to the boy you tried to give counseling. You sir I believe are of Native descent and you tried reasoning with the boy. He not only ignores a fellow 'brother', he silences you. Could it be this boy rejects all things if they interfere with the HATE his mother spoke of? You condemned him to a losing battle yet doesn't he know he's already lost? All wisdom even from his family escapes him.

I understand...every race has it's bad genes. And I understand your reluctance to speak, but thanks for your efforts.


Ok Penny, you're next. Now Penny, the topic is wayward children, not way to go children. What would you like to say? No Elizabeth Warren was the last blog. Yes, Pocahontas .Well I didn't name her that. Yes she did lie......So you can't see the humor in that.......Oh, OK So you can't see any humor in sarcasm. Now I get you. I understand, yes . You're humorless. I see, I see. That explains a lot. Ok Penny you can go back to sleep now.

Well we got to all the boys buddies. What a group, eh? All socks, not a real profile in the cast of misfits. Like that other sock blog....profiles in limbo, never made it on their first pass.....ejected, neglected, and definitely detected as being misfits. Quite the band of brothers and mothers. And using a boy to exact revenge on an obscure website that never accepted them. Funny...the scammers are known as fake, the members are fake as known. I remain..

As ever was,
Drcocktail
















https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQlImg2bm28&sns=em

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Comments:
firstwatchlawman

Apr 12 @ 2:43PM  
I can tell this is going to be another gem, but I will be reading it from afar.
I know you have a huge readership and that your detractors are riveted to "their" sagas that you put it so comically in words.You have a talent for writing, with bite, parody and irony... good tools for entertaining, harmless to those with a sense of humor. Unfortunately, we have A LOT of hate here, humor... not so much. This can become toxic and toxicity breeds depression.
We have gone thru the worst loss a family can suffer, and frankly what I am seeing here.... beside your ironic humor and the comfort of my good friends is not conducive to soul healing. So I am going to be holing out at home for a few, while I delegate work in progess and contracts to the guys who work with me.
I WILL be reading your blogs, infact, I look forward to them as the ONLY source of irreverent humor here. I don't mind political blogs either. Many are informative and even the C/P are pieces I may not have found on my own otherwise.
But mainly I am/was here for fun, entertainment, good friends and a smile from the ladies. I found all those, but also undisguised virulent hate and resentment. I am a peaceful and mostly tolerant man, but under my present circumstances, I find I have little taste for some of the hate that is being dished out. Keep writing DrC... discerning minds appreciate it. You do it well and I'll be reading, as will many others who may not even want to admit it.
drcocktail

Apr 12 @ 4:56PM  
Relying on formerly and presently banned socks as supporters doesn't make for a fun audience. But they see it. And I'm happy with the response from 'solid' members. As has repeatedly been relayed to me, the kid ain't (b)right.....lol. With such a stalwart cast of misfits, miscreants and part time members, well, I'll take the quality, as you say, the more discerning.
drcocktail

Apr 12 @ 5:08PM  

I don't hold on to grudges...my mother told me that will weaken a person

Could you get any weaker then this goof....lol
ILgal_

Apr 12 @ 5:53PM  
and another good man rides off into the sunset.

Bye Lawman we know you're not far away.

.
drcocktail

Apr 12 @ 6:04PM  
Lawman has more important matters. He has his priorities set right where they should be. Please respect that.
LillyWhite

Apr 12 @ 8:18PM  
Hello Boss! Damn, I'm late, so sorry. Looks like you started without me, good fer ya! But in my defense you didn't tell me when the next session would take place. Anyway, I am here but I have another engagement since I didn't know of this one. I see we have a full audience once again. Damn, you sure know how to attract them, Doc . So I'll do what I can while I am here, lemme hustle to it right now. Towels and Kleenex coming up and maybe a lil nip of wine for MOM. There ya go Mommy, nobody hates your son, he just hates himself, no reflection on you. There, there Mom, crying is good for you, lemme wipe your face and I'll hold your hand. And the wine
LillyWhite

Apr 12 @ 8:20PM  
Oooooh not good. Your son won't look at you now . Maybe he's ashamed. reckon he can be salvaged with your tears? Nah... he's a hypocrite that'd rather see his Mommy cry than mend his cruel and stupid ways.
LillyWhite

Apr 12 @ 8:24PM  
Boss, I don't see no Crowfoot and no socklover and I aint shore who is Human here anymore, or not. Maybe you overbooked and they had to be drugged.... no... dragged out ...Or maybe that's another story, sorry, been a loooong day!
LillyWhite

Apr 12 @ 8:27PM  
Ohhhh the lawman? he left... again? I loooove that man, he is perdy! . No reflection on you Doc, you perdy too !
LillyWhite

Apr 12 @ 8:36PM  
Hey Boss, you aint sayin' nothin' so reckon you can handle the show all by yourself tonight? They look manageable, torpid even . You want me to talk to the boy? Maybe it's just MEN he can't relate to, they must intimidate him, I mean men that talk of peace and reasoning, not fighting and cussin and a-drinking!! Maybe a mere woman will have a better go at it. It's OK, Mom... I won't hurt him. Tho I suspect he could benefit from a large can of whoop-ass now and then but I suspect someone bigger and nastier will take care of that one of these days. Don't cry Mom, we love you here, we do! So OK, Doc, as you don't need me, I am outa here. Nice to see ya as always... perdy curtsy to ya!.
drcocktail

Apr 12 @ 8:43PM  
Well Lily welcome home. I'll give you the readers digest version of the goings on. Crowfoot, a friend of the lawman as well as the American Indians said a few words to our audience about the man/child. Seems both he and the lawman got the hook when trying to council man hood to the boy. God forbid the kid learn anything. Socklover, she's like our Zimbabwean princess, 15 minutes of fame then scurries back to their caves. Now this human bore....nothing to speak of. Kind of a Mr Rodgers in the neighborhood except his sweater vest is made out of toilet paper. OK read on...its back to the stage.
LillyWhite

Apr 12 @ 8:48PM  
Listen, I wanna give you a lil' gift so you forgive me that I was late (hey, YOUR fault! ), so here is some Music. The Shirelles, Mama Said. Music, to soothe the savage beasts, or so I hear. Hope it works.
But gotta fly . Glad I could help, as ever!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQlImg2bm28
LillyWhite

Apr 12 @ 8:51PM  
Ohhhh Human Bean looked at me. So that's what one looks like... hmmm.. . meh, not much! Puny in fact, no mettle just smoke
drcocktail

Apr 12 @ 9:02PM  
Lol, OK LILY, all's quiet on the western front....the Indians are splitting a few Mogen Davids and I've got emails to respond to. Sorry about the 'no advance' but it was a special request blog.
LillyWhite

Apr 12 @ 9:11PM  
STOP "EM!! That's the wine I saved for Mom they're stealing ... MD 20-20, the good stuff!! Mommy, here hunny bunny, here's your wine. It's just for you (and for me ). Don't cry now, there is more, I know where the reserve is. You need it more than the boy does. But aint that nice... Native men sharing Jewish wine, sure gives you that warm, peaceable feelin' don't it.
clickityclack

Apr 12 @ 10:08PM  
oh wow, youse must be lily white...keep that blood of Christ for the Juice, and give this drunken skin's some White Port or Annie Green Springs...I oughta tan yer arse, jihey!
drcocktail

Apr 13 @ 8:25AM  
Everybody welcome back RDL....lol.

MisterTwister927

10 hrs 4 mins ago
I had this name at AMD, and I've watched cocktail for almost ten years

So you've got another apprentice? A boy this time. I remember this old sock of yours shortly after you first got canned from AMD, one of the first you made. ..Lol
Fayvorite

Apr 13 @ 9:20AM  
Since you have talent as a writer, I can't understand why you waste it on a site like this or would need to fuel a fire to get so many people grumbling. Just because it is easy to do doesn't make it worth while. Then again what do I know, maybe some people's days need whatever negative entertainment MD offers.

The blocks, the socks - so what, who cares?

The blog is tagged satire - kudos for that

And just for the record - Indians are the best lovers!
drcocktail

Apr 13 @ 9:46AM  

Well Fay, don't believe 99% of what you hear on MD. You can't stop the liars and I rarely engage them. If dummies like north could write as well as they make things up there'd be no point in commenting. We'd all just enjoy a good read. But that therapy you spoke of, its pushing the buttons of those who make things up to HATE. I'll take your word on the Indians.
drcocktail

Apr 13 @ 11:12AM  
Whoa!......The smell is too much. Enter one wingnut as one pompom, one RDL as one MrTwit. And where do they come to roost? A post {not a blog} that stinks as bad as it reads. I'm out.....Even I won't fish in that pond. Permanent ignore....Invisible.
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