It was April 2002. My mother had returned to stay with my sister. She did not want to spend time with me. I was on the dating site for distraction following my return to Texas from Anchorage by way of Minnesota. I went out ten times the first week in April. I tried to stay comfortably numb.
JM was from Austin, about a three hour drive from me -- a big difference from the three hour time zone distance between Michael and me. JM's profile said he was ten years younger than me. Michael's profile had said a year younger, but he'd turned out to be four years older. JM flirted with me, was interested in me. JM was healthy JM had full custody of his six year old son. His son's name was Brandon. What were the odds? I'd found two single men with custody of young children. Both children were named Brandon. Synchronicity. It was a sign! I was deserving of a healthy version of Michael; a younger version of Michael; a nearly local version of Michael.
We moved fairly quickly from chat to phone conversations. We had long conversations about how cruel life had been to me the preceding couple of months and about discoveries about my mother and myself. He wanted to hold me and comfort me and I wanted him to do so. We began to speak of plans to meet. Most of them involved his traveling to my home. About that time, he received a call from his mother in Chicago saying that his father was having heart problems. Of course, I encouraged him to go and visit. Sometimes health can take a sudden turn for the worse. It had with my dad.
So he went that weekend to Chicago and the next day he messeged me that his father had taken a turn for the worse and had passed away. My heart which had been grieving for me now grieved also for him. I knew that meeting him online had not been an accident. I had been drawn to him by the synchronicity of the full custody of Brandon so that we could share our grief and lean upon one another. He spent the next few weeks in Chicago with his family. I felt really bad for him unable to see his son for so long. For some reason, I did not question that his son stayed in Austin while he had his whole family to offer help and support in Chicago.
He spoke with me frequently while he was out of town, mostly late at night or early in the morning. He was busy during the day with funeral arrangements as his father was a prominent businessman. The burden of so many decisions fell on him as he was the only son. Then after the funeral, he could not leave his mother for some time as she was taking things very hard. Just about the time he was planning on returning home, his mother had to be hospitalized. She had suffered a mild stroke. Finally his sisters could take over and he was back in Texas planning a trip to Houston. That's when his SUV was T-boned. Obviously, he was still strongly affected by the events of the prior weeks or he would have avoided the accident. Fortunately, neither of them were injured, but now he was out of transportation. I did not question this calamatous chain of events. I had seen in Alaska how challenges could mount.
I drove to Austin on a Saturday to be with him, to comfort him, to be comforted. I came home knowing I had been in the right place at the right time.
Continued...
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| Synchronicity Run Amok...Full Custody of Brandon, part 5 |
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