Tonight I decided to re-enter the world of the living after weeks of recuperation. I returned to familar territory a little pub that offers Karaoke on Friday and Saturday night. Its a small cozy place where you know when you get there everyone will know you and if not they will know you by time the night is over. Lets take a look at the cold hard facts about bars. The men are all looking for a hook up and the women are looking for attention. Women know we are going to get hit on and in all liklihood some of the hitters are going to be mutants from another planet.I do not take bars and clubs too seriously, and never take anything that happens there personally anymore.There is no way to avoid the random acts of sleaziness unfortunately, they are going to happen.
Lets talk about Bob ( his name is changed to protect his identity)he is a retired New York City Detective. He smokes a cigar , loves to get up to mic and sing, and loves to flirt with the ladies.He is a tall and inimidating character. Bob gets pretty drunk when he drinks, and he gets pretty obnoxious. He becomes very touch feely and in your face.Not to mention every word out his mouth came complete with a shower of spit..So why do guys resort to this oh-so-pathetic way of getting our attention? I'm assuming because we're worth the effort, but if so, don't we deserve better ?
Lets talk about Tony, Tony is a self admitted Alchoholic with a great singing voice. He is a pleasant and friendly drunk. He loves to look down my shirt and grab my ass when he gets the chance. Poor Phil told me he has cirrhosis of the liver and is dying, he said he would get a transplant if he had a million dollars. He told me that he promises to not haunt me when he is gone, but might stop by to say hello now and then.
Lets talk about Pig man. He has earned this title because he brought a date to the bar. His date was a real pig as in barnyard animal. The pig was better looking then his date and was more sober.He sat his little piggy friend up on the bar and the poor little pig was dropped repeatedly. The more he drank the more he dropped the pig. The poor little thing had to be hurting from all those falls. My friend finally had to tell him off and said she was going to call the police if he dropped the pig one more time. We left the bar and pig man followed us to the parking lot telling us that he was really a good man. Sure he was
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