I was reading an interesting article the other day about the gap. Not the clothing store... but the gap between what we see as ideal and what we perceive as real. The article presented the gap as being like the horizon. If we look off into the distance, we see a point where the sky meets the earth. We are wise and experienced enough though, to realize that as we move to that point, it continues to move away from us at about the same rate, so that the distance between ourselves and the horizon is somewhat constant and we are not frustrated by not closing that gap. We measure progress by looking back and comparing the distance between where we are now and our starting point.
Conversely, so many of us set forth an ideal toward which we strive, but instead of measuring progress by the distance between where we were when we started and where we are now, we try to measure the distance between where we are and our ideal. Like the horizon, our ideal keeps moving ahead of us, so the measurement is impossible and the gap never seems to diminish. If we are looking to actually reach the ideal, we will forever experience frustration and disappointment -- like chasing the horizon.
The book "He" by Robert Johnson explores the masculine. It should be required reading, expecially for men. I have recommended it to quite a few men. Johnson takes the Parsifal/Beowulf myth and analyzes the legend as a cosmic dream applicable to society at large. Parsifal is a naive knight -- holding high ideals, but without the wisdom to productively pursue them. He is in search of the holy grail. He travels the ends of the earth slaying dragons and rescuing fair maidens and in each maiden he looks for the ideal, but he is time and time again disappointed.
Finally he returns home about to give up on his quest. Then he turns around and sees a bridge, and when he has crossed the bridge -- he finds the grail and the result is healing in the land and the king.
The interpretaion is that we look far and wide for something that is very near at hand. We fight mythological creatures -- fearsome things that are not even real. We look for fullfilment in others. The answer -- the object of our quest is very near -- it is at home. We need only open our eyes and see it. It is within each of us -- that holy grail whereby healing is provided. The "ideal" -- that fair maiden? It is our own creativity and when we have embraced it, we are free to look upon other humans as real people and to love them for who they are. We do not need or expect them to be the ideal.
The book is skinny and a fast read -- and offers so much more than my short blog here this morning. Pick it up and give it a read. You may fall in love with the gap instead of letting it frustrate and disappoint you.
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Eyes_Wide_Shut
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Oct 29 @ 9:30PM
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This is very good. It is in knowing ourselves as beautiful that we become beautiful to others. Obvious, isn't it. Funny how easily we forget.
peace
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MustbeCute
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Oct 31 @ 5:14AM
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I loved your thorough analysis of the search for the ideal which is so entrenched in our psyche, we do not even realize it. Men search for their maiden, women search for their prince-charming. Only, the sad conclusion is, it doesn't exist.
I think that when we get out of the adolescent hope of constant passion and unending bliss, we look for true companionship, friendship, real connection, and acceptance.
The Parsifal/Beowulf is our superego, or deep seeded longing for hyperreality in Love/Romance/Adventrue. It doesnt' exist. But it is, as you say, "a cosmic dream applicable to society at large."
Until we see each other as deeply flawed, wounded, yet capable of love and affection, we will not move forward to a more mature, kind, gentle love. The only love that lasts.
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