Leprecauns, Unicorns, Tooth Fairys and Internet Dating..... posted 11/19/2006 5:29:19 AM | 25 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: relationships, commentary, whatever, stupid, people

PullMyFinger

Hi,

You can include Santa Claus if you'd like, but I still kinda sorta believe he exists. I'm still waiting for that banana seated Schwinn I asked for in like '71, still pisses me off...Lite-Brite and an Etch A Sketch?....wtf?. So what's my point you ask?

I've been reading the forums and blogs now for a few weeks; they’re interesting to say the least. I’ve done a little posting obviously, usually looking for just a laugh, hoping someone can get a little chuckle from my warped and oftentimes odd sense of humor. It's a curse, but it pays the bills so to speak.

In both, I've found a lot of what I'd consider a fantasy based expectation of this and other online dating sites, like a magic bean, once planted will grow into this enormous vine of romantic bliss. We post our little profiles, add a picture and sit back, he or she will come, no doubt...anytime now...soon...yup, bound to happen….(crickets)...WTH?...Give me a break!...I'm right here!!!...HELLO!!!...(silence)

I'm not one to believe in fairy tales and I'm not one to think that anything worth a squat is going to be easily attained. I don't think I can say that for a number of posters and bloggers. I don't understand why people expect it to be any different than it is.

Women complain men are only interested in sex, they can’t commit, they’re out of shape, ad nauseam. Ok fine, look at me for a second, this site is FREE! The powers that be haven't the facilities to do background checks. Men, historically speaking are pigs, name one era in which they weren’t. This medium just begs people to become over indulgent when it comes to feeding whatever kink they have and it’s ANONYMOUS! They can woo you and in milliseconds woo another. It’s a virtual cornucopia of carnal desires.

Men on the other hand, complain that they write women yet receive no response, that women are all mean and nasty, they have issues, they don’t trust men, they’re looking for something unattainable et cetera et cetera et cetera.

First of all, it isn't one genders fault, its all of you. Both genders are guilty of fostering a climate where the other gender is totally clueless as to the needs and wants of the other. Men; and I say this as one, you’ve lost whatever shred of decency you had by believing the crap fed to you by the media. You watched too much MTV, the Man Show and a bazillion other examples of what NOT to be. Women have issues you say, well no chit Einstein, who’s fault is THAT? Men have been screwing that up forever, taking on concubines, leaving women and their children to fend for themselves while you go out and feed that throbbing python of love between your legs, usually with someone younger and fitter. Of course they have issues you moron. If they don’t have issues, they’re dead. Everyone has issues, anyone believing that issues are wrong deserves to be covered in banana peels and tossed in with horny lab chimps.

And women, don’t get comfy, cuz you share a huge amount of the blame. You KNOW men are like the way they are, you KNOW we oftentimes think with the wrong muscle AND you know that Ozzie and Harriett are dead. But since this is the Internet, let’s look at why some men are the way they are, here specifically. First of all, you post pictures that perk Mr Gigglestick whilst your postings in the forums can be and often are bawdy in nature. Do you think all those men out there don’t read that crap? Of course they do. To them, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and wiggles like a duck, it’s a fkn duck. Do you want a nice guy or do you want a guy that listens to his porkasaurus? But PMF, I’m just kidding and having fun, I’m flirting in an innocent way, oh shut the fk up….you’re presenting yourself in a negative way on a dating site, the nice guys will go wth, she flirts with everyone, I’d prefer a woman that doesn’t….ya know, class. That kind of stuff belongs behind closed doors or featured in a window in downtown Amsterdam.

Una dama en el público y una puta en el dormitorio Look it up, it makes sense.

Men and Women, listen up, if you wish to attract the cream of each other’s crop, present yourself as such, both here and off the Internet. I’m not going to say in real life, because all this is, is a microcosm of society…it’s no different really.

Expect the freaks and losers, it’s the Internet. Be patient, learn to like yourself, honestly, that’s the key to attracting someone that’s good and decent. Once you honestly like yourself and you’re comfortable with your station in life, you’ll magically summon those that you deserve.

If I was a woman, I’m not of course, unless we’re talking a great deal of cash, and that’s another blog, but if I was, I’d be vewy vewy weary of meeting anyone from a dating site, regardless of how nice and smooth they seem.

Guys, clean it up for Christ sakes…show some class. If you can’t tame that donut holder between your legs, visit Pahrump, Nv and leave these women alone…

This is just one mans opinion, means absolutely nothing. I honestly know nothing. I was bored and I have insomnia…and I have a peculiar rash developing. All the television has on is that gdamn TempurPedic commercial, drives me nuts.

Oh look, Poker on TV…how fking exciting, later.

Oh, one more thing, no diet pill is worth a 153 bucks a bottle…..


© 2006 PMF

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Blogs by PullMyFinger: Butt Sniffing & Nazi Dudes.... Vicar in a Tutu...A Conversation with God.... My virtual world has crumbled, I'M LEAVING!!! Goodbye! One step away from roadkill, a squirrel's tale.... Forgiveness and Understanding A Case of Rape~~Literally Ghosts in the Shadows... Uncle Finger's Boinking Guide for MEN My Recliner of Rage, Things that suck.... Of Squirrels and Mugshots.... BLOG WARS: My Battle Plans.... The Dragonfire Syndrome... Leprecauns, Unicorns, Tooth Fairys and Internet Dating.....