I have come to the conclusion with my history of talking to women through the years. Women want to plan a relationship with a man. Even when they see time and time again planning a relationship doesn’t work; they go from one relationship they planned right on into their next planned relationship. As they’re crying he did me wrong!
Hey he didn’t do anything to you, you did it to yourself. Relationships are born not made!
The new phrase I see women are using now all the time everywhere and so, so many even have it posted on their profile “Not into playing games” Boil that statement down and you’ll find in most cases the woman are saying that their last planned relationship failed again and they come up with, he played me. No he didn’t play you, you played you!
A woman meets a man and in most cases if not the first contact one of the first contacts she already sees how her and whatever man she is contacting or replying to how he will just sit fine and Xmas dinner. How she can see them 6 months from now vacationing together at the beach holding hands and kissing till both of their lips are red and puffy as the walk the beach seeing dolphins dancing waves, whales breaching misting love songs just made for them, well she planned the whales songs to play too lol.
As they contact me and other men saying things like, well are you ready to settle down!
Or I want my next date to be my last date and stay with that man forever! So many variables on that you can mix the meaning of what I’m saying on your emails sent or received, man or woman.
Where if those things don’t scare a man off right away he gets very nervous about the woman right from the start and see her chain with collar wiping around her head as though she was a cowgirl readying to catch her bull and ride him to the family Xmas dinner lol.
Where most men we are visual and we see a woman for her looks, her body and that is what interests us in most cases. We don’t see the woman a few months down the road sitting at our mom and dads dinner table. We are not seeing ourselves in our minds eye reserving a room at the shore 6 months down the road. We are seeing and feeling,
wonder if she can kiss, wonder if she feels good holding, and yes my goodness we wonder if she is any good at sex. Oh if you want to know why that is one of our/my main priorities about sex. Well most men have had bad sex and thought of living for a while or a lifetime with bad sex is not at the top of our/my things to do real soon, and as often as I can have bad sex! Where it seems in many cases from women I’ve spoke to through the years where the woman had boyfriend/husband/whoever thinking about a man and bad sex. Well he sucks at sex but he sits real well at family gatherings and you should see him swim at the beach. Plus he’s a good provider financially
We/I want to know somewhere close to the beginning of getting to know a woman if she is good in bed as much as can you kiss, does your body whatever size turns us/me on, does she like sexual playing often or does she do it as a chore, and yata yata yata!
Now because men think different then women in most cases and those things are important to us. In a lot of cases that is not so important in the scheme of things for women in a relationship. They deem men with this, who that is important to,
Oh he’s a player! LOL or and my goodness I don’t want a player.
Well I have expressed what the years of meeting and hearing from women on this subject love it or hate it I have found it to be so very true!
Women stop planning relationships they’re born, not made!!!
One last thought a player to men is a guy that plays sports, period lol.
If I have offended anyone that was not my intention, but if you did get offended by truth and reality, well you’re offended by your choice then. It’s just a wake up call to reality the way it is made to work, “Not” the way it doesn’t work!
Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right!!!
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| Women & Their Planned Relationships, DON’T WORK!!! |
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UnicornLover1962
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Dec 5 @ 7:27AM
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you can't just peg a person into a neat little hole. when i say i'm tired of the head games and the cybering...I MEAN IT!!
too many times i have had men mess with the mind, tell me they loved me, and then only want sex. it's tiresome.
i admit it's partially my fault for not reading between the lines. and trust me, i do so more now, than i did before.
huggles
mel
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Gibbie
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Dec 5 @ 11:00AM
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I'm always interested in gaining insight into a man's mind (and I say this without any sarcasm). Especially without the man feeling defensive against me, whereas he feels like he has to get all his thoughts out (like a man in a boxing ring), before I have the opportunity to interject my own "opinions"...because after all, our thoughts in truth, derive from our own opinions, based on and obtained from life's experiences, the world around us, the environment, tv, friends and family...etc.
Our heart felt opinions are just that..."heart felt", but opinions nonetheless. Opinions that can change, at any given time, with time, for whatever reasons...like the tides on the ocean. Of course there will be times in our lives when we feel something so adamantly and for that time in space, we feel it so strongly that it becomes or feels like a truth to us. But its not, its only an opinion. For example how we view the world, ourselves, eachother as a people...all these things can change, at any given time...and when they do, then the change of thought, pattern and/or behavior appears to be the truth, but again, its only an opinion. You know? Its where our minds are at, in that time of our lives...for whatever reason.
I will say, that I actually agree with much of what you've shared and I am grateful that you shared what you did, because again, it gave me insight into the mind of a man. A man who appears to share many of the same opinions that other men do. Does this make it truth then? I sit here pondering that very thought, kind sir...
Reading your blog helped me to understand alot about how women tend to confuse men because for the most part, some of us dont share what we should and share what we shouldnt, why most of "us" (all of us) are single today (perhaps due to lack of communication and LACK of the ability to listen not just to the words being said, but to those that arent as well)...in essence, why men appear to be from Mars and women from Venus (~smile~).
I leave here today with a heavy heart, because unfortunately, some things just dont change...and change for the most part, is good...but again, this is only my opinion...
~Gib~
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albertafire
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Dec 5 @ 12:34PM
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men do it to.
was talking to a fellow, we were planning to meet, gezz, after talking for a few days, yes only a few days, hell he was planning the honeymoon, go figure, i kept telling him we had to meet frist. he insisted it was meant to be. he had our next 5 yrs planed together. oh he was scaring the H out of me,, well we met, what a shock, his profile pic was about 15yrs old, so i met an OLD man, went for dinner, well i found out fast, he wanted only one thing. when he found i was standing my ground on, i don't jump in the sack on the frist meet. well needless to say, he left town fast,
funny, he did not get willy wet, so why pay for a room that would not be used. smart man there.
so it is not just women, men do it to... 
there is a lot more to this story, to long for here, but the gist of it....
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SpiderMoose
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Dec 5 @ 2:08PM
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>> Women stop planning relationships they’re born, not made!!!
It is soooo true and so sad but there was hardly a relationship where I didn't had the problem that I didn't acted by her PLAN ... and caused a drama because of it ...
That's what I am looking for now ... a woman it is just herself and does not need to be the "Family-General" - I have allready a mom, I am looking for a Partner. I am sick and tired of girls they ask you a question but you know if you say NO then you are in trouble ... that's not a question, that's an order ...
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ShyMe585
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Dec 5 @ 2:23PM
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number 1 no one can make pplans for any relationships or how its going to work out you have to go with the flow to get to know 1 another BEFORE. if you jump the gun and all then it will not work right. anyone says diff then guess what your loss
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sweetcrysNOV3084
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Dec 5 @ 2:45PM
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I actaully find your blog funny... consideing in a round about way i recently realized i do just that... plan a relationship form the start.. usually after the first conversation/meeting im thinking about how things COULD be and well i see that some of what i feared is true about most men according to you... the first thoughts are about sex.. which would explain where the frustartion comes in on both our parts... most women (well ill say some i know this applies to me anyways) have sex listed maybe as high at 10 on their priority list... if they are really lonely maybe 7 but before that comes honesty hardworking and blah blah blah and yes some where in there might come the little fantasy of bring him home to mom and dad.. its all part of the typical female fantasy of finding happiness, the perfect some one.
after all this i ask one question.. what is there to do about this.. i doubt neither man nor woman will really change now that some of us have relaized all this... maybe a select few will try to keep this in mind but the ultimate driving force in us is still the same.. as you said a relationship is not planned its made... when do you think the compromises will kick in??
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SpiderMoose
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Dec 6 @ 12:38PM
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>> when do you think the compromises will kick in??
In the moment were we stop to expect compromises and just accept our partner how ever he or she is ... everything will be way more relaxed ... I think
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stilsmokin420
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Dec 6 @ 3:29PM
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What I dont get is why everyone is so hung up on havng a relationship? Cant we all just get along and have a good time? Just enjoy the moment? Let shit happen NATURALLY the way its supposed to??
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callmekay
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Dec 6 @ 8:12PM
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I completely agree with all that you say here and unfortunately due to this fact it makes it difficult for those of us that are straight forward and honest to be able to establish any possibility of losing our guard and just being able to enjoy spending time with someone and letting the chips fall where they may. I think that women have ultimately destroyed the mystery and fascination of discovering new things by their continual need to be in the driver seat and dictate each and every move. I myself have been one and it is no surprise that I am divorced. Thank God for hind sight. Women say that they want honesty but can't handle it when it's given, they say they want true love but it comes with conditions. We mold men to suit our needs forgetting about our natural instinct to declare we have the right to change our minds. Are we then accurate in saying "he has changed?" or did we just change our minds? I, personally am crafty enough that I could be writing this just to get the response and admiration of all the men on here, however, I am honest enough to admit that I have that talent and nature as well. So, one small step for mankind here... I want to know if a man is good in bed as well. There is an old saying "If you have a good sex life then sex is only 10% of your relationship, but if you have a bad sex life than it is 90%. I follow that up with my oown phrase of "the day that I stop making a big deal out of sex is the day that sex is no longer a big deal!" I want to watch my man sitting at Christmas dinner and know that it's all I can do to wait until all of these relatives go home so that the games can begin. I never claim not to play games because I think that people do it whether thay want to or not. Head games can be fun with rules and boundaries just like any other sport... So, ladies? Lighten up, back up, drop the over whelming need to trap men in order to leave another notch on the lipstick case to compensate for your own insecurities. Invest a little effort into what these men are trying to say and you may learn that they're not all here just to play!
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SporTChica29
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Dec 6 @ 8:18PM
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I think that part of the excitement of the relationship is wondering "if" this, that, or the other thing is going to happen or not... but I agree that planning the whole thing out from the beginning is wrong, and only sets people up for failure. Having said that, it is not just women that jump in waaaay too fast into things. Sometimes this planning can be spurred on by things that men say or do... my good friend was recently in a relationship that ended badly because her significant other kept insisting that she was the one, how much she had changed his life, etc, and then she was just crushed one day when he withdrew the entire thing and said "well I guess I never felt that for you... I just got too excited about being in a relationship again." It may have been immaturity on one or both of their parts, but much crazier things have happened. So, I guess I agree that is wrong for women to plan too far in advance, but there are other games the can be played, so what you said about "no game playing" requests = failed planned relationship, I don't necessarily agree with.
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caldar
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Dec 7 @ 7:49AM
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I've been on both sides of this 
On one hand, *she* needed to know how to work everything out in the future before she would spend another moment near me in the present.
On the other hand, I've made the mistake of focusing on my own plans for an occasion without being open to changing situations.
I'm not sure if it's all women.
As for us men... and sex. Women have no idea what it's like whatsoever as far as I can tell.
Can we control it? Most of us can. Should we expect sex the moment we meet you? Heck no!!!.. Just always beware that if you're near a guy and it's considered a "date" 50-75 percent of the thoughts that run through his mind involve sex. LOL
(obviously, if they're pressuring you, getting out of there fast is best.. cause they need more control) OH and if a hotel room is involved and you're not going with the intent of sex.. *blink* you *REALLY* misunderstand guys 
Sorry :) I thought that was humorous 
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