Good Evening...
As I read some of the forum posts over the last few days, I kept going back to one particular one.. it was entitled "what do women want in men". Cannot speak for anyone but myself as this varies from woman to woman...I believe the qualities each of us seek are what matter most in our hearts and minds... and I am sure that many women have the same qualities they seek out, mine are (and I am not numbering them.. but rather bulleting): AND I AM MOST SURE THAT THESE ARE SOME OF THE SAME QUALITIES MEN ARE HOPING TO FIND IN WOMEN.
-- Someone that can disagree without holding on to their point of view and realize each of us sees things differently and will allow us to move forward with the relationship
--Someone that is intelligent enough to carry on a conversation without making it a debate with a good sense of who they are, what they are capable of, and a sense of humor enough to laugh and make me laugh with him.
-- Someone who has a good moral structure which would include: honesty, compassion, the ability to give and get love, a strong sense of work ethic, drive, desire, intimacy, the ability to enjoy simple pleasures.
-- Someone who would understand that I cry at silly movies, I choose to act like a small child at times (jumping in leaves, making snow angels, watching butterflies, clouds, fireflies)and accepts me at face value - allows me to be me and likes me just that way.
-- Someone that knows that my insides are much nicer than my outward appearance.
-- Someone that is spontaneous enough so that if the mood strikes me for a road trip, a day to photograph things that warm my heart, etc., doesn't fret about how good he looks or takes hours to get ready (I have been known to throw on jeans and sweatshirt, brush my hair and teeth and head for the door sans -- oh, shudder now -- makeup!!)
-- Someone unafraid to tell me exactly how much he cares for me and why, but who can also tell me when I have hurt him without making me feel as though I am the most horrid creature living.
-- Someone who will forgive me when I make mistakes or hurt him (as I will him) and talk about the reasons in a mature and understanding way.
-- Someone unimpressed with status and life-style.
-- Someone who misses me when we apart enough to make a small phone call just to say that.
-- Someone who, doesn't necessary say outloud all the time that he thinks I am beautiful, that "God, he loves me", but I catch watching me with a smile on his face and longing in his eyes.
-- Someone that walks up slowly behind me, brushes my hair aside, wraps his arm around me and alternately makes small kisses/nibbles on my neck and then raspberries....(don't knock it unless you have tried it...) this works just as nicely with small tiny kisses / nibbles and alternating raspberrieson the belly.
-- Someone that listens when we are sitting in a field, a sport arena, a grandstand, etc. watching the wind blow my hair in my eyes, who slowly and gently brushes it aside and his eyes say everything....
In other words, I would love to have someone that accepts me as I am because he believes that I am worth working toward having a lasting committed relationship with because he can and does see the diamond in the rough and doesn't toss me aside when the shiney "fools gold" happens along... This is sooooo possible. I just finished James Patterson's latest book on CD "Cross" ..and listening to the narrator speak the words that Patterson used for the main character to describe his wife (excerpt: I watched Maria standing in the light of the bathroom with just an old shirt of mine on, and I thought of how beautiful she looked there with her hair all tousled and a smile and thought, "God, how I loved this woman, how lucky am I that she chose me to share this beauty with").. *big, big sigh*
All of the above were exactly what I know can and does happen with couples. Come on people it was written by a man..so it is not impossible for these feelings, these qualities. You say we women ask for too much, but if a man can recognize and put these same qualities into words in his book, they surely must be possible and attainable???
Now, if you will excuse me.. my warm cup of vanilla carmel tea is calling to me...and if you get really, really quiet..you can hear it alsooooooo.....
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| What This Woman Feels Most Want in a Man |
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Blondie161955
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Dec 26 @ 7:08PM
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wonderful read...i agree!...... 
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LadyJasmine
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Dec 26 @ 7:11PM
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Y O U ............ A R E ............. S O............. R I G H T !!!
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oceanlover734
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Dec 26 @ 7:44PM
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WOW you have such a way with words. I soooooooo want all those things to and it just made me cry to read them, the longing I know I to have for such. I know to men feel these things just haven't found mine. Well maybe I have but it is too soon to know. Thank you cause it was a good cry. I pray we each find that "one" soon.
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Ladyhawk920
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Dec 26 @ 8:05PM
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My, my, my......where can I get one of those????? 
Excellent Luvs, I know he's out there....somewhere. With all the new things happening to me lately, maybe it's time. My life has changed so much in just a few months when I felt so down and out and now.....I'm ready!!! WATCH OUT WORLD!!! lol
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Neicey
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Dec 26 @ 8:35PM
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great blog . i would like to have a man like that too.
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julia143
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Dec 26 @ 9:09PM
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When you find this man......make sure he has a twin...cause that is exactly what I want! Oh....and maybe a few tatoos and maybe a nice tongue ring...
Just saying
Nice Blog
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armswide0pen
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Dec 26 @ 9:16PM
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Luvs, the man that captures your heart will be one lucky man indeed and I knew this before even reading what you want........you are truly amazing.......all the best
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VaPeppermintPatti
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Dec 26 @ 9:36PM
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Nicely expressed but....
What you want and what you get are ALWAYS two different things!! Shopping/wish lists are lovely, but...One cannot dictate the who, how, or when the chemistry will be just right. And I'm speaking from experience.
I've been fortunate with the men that I've had in my life, even my two ex-spouses...doctors, lawyers, and indian chiefs shall we say. Really more like doctors, engineers, and successful businessmen. All of that changed a few years ago and I fell in love like a doggone teenager, he was like that with me too, with someone that I would not have normally given a second look. I threw caution to the wind and went out with him. He was 4 inches shorter than my 5 foot 9, tattooed, rode a Harley '03 Roadking in good weather and the daily ride was an mint condition Caddy hearse that he customized, round as a little dumplin', a full head of silver hair that was as long as my own, a moustache of the George Custer type right down to the little chin dew-drop, and was degreed, but became a professional housepainter as the money was better and he liked working with lots and lots of people. He had the greatest heart I ever knew a man to have. Told me after we'd been dating about 3 weeks that he was going to marry me and that I was going nowhere but with him. Well, we did become engaged about 6 mos. later and found a gorgeous brick home in his town 2 days later. Oh, you've noticed that I'm speaking in the past tense. He died of a massive heart attack 4 days after we found THE house; had a complete physical 5 weeks before, I was with him, and he got a clean bill of health. All this was in '05.
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luvshorses644
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Dec 26 @ 9:48PM
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Thanks all you gals for the comments.. I was hoping some of the guys would be brave enough to post something here...
VAPeppermintPatti
I wasn't really attempt to make this a shopping / wish list, but rather to give the men that have asked what women want an idea of what makes them "special" in our hearts and relationship material (and yes, with the daveat here that this is my thoughts and hopes for what I value in relationship material.. not what all women want / look for).
I also do know that your heart knows nothing of lists (as far as rich, good-looking, etc. - notice that I didn't even mention these attributes) as I rarely put a qualifier on things that do make encompass who the individual IS. And I so agree with your statement about the chemistry and not being able to control that factor.
I am so extremely sorry that the one man that captivated your heart in all the manners I had listed on here (not the physical attributes) was taken from you so soon after you and he found each other. No amount of words can take away that loss, but please accept my condolenscences. What you found in that man was some of the very same attributes I may have listed and I feel that may have attributed a little to the chemistry.
Trust me, I am not giving this as a be all, end all listing.. but consider these just some thoughts and expressions of what makes our hearts go pitter patter in the night.. being a romantic with a touch of realist I know that no one can predict when or how love finds us.
Thank you VAPP for your input as well as all you other gals.. I welcome any thoughts or additions you all might have.. guys too!!
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Snappygoddess
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Dec 26 @ 10:03PM
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I have found a man with a lot of those qualities... hard to define how good it makes me feel that he accepts me for exactly who I am.
You figure if I can meet someone in mid-life and he thinks I am beautiful even with all of my sags and bags.. it has to be love and complete acceptance. Hard to find that sort of love and commitment! 
Thank you for once again touching my heart, Luvs.. and VPP... so sorry for your loss Hugs
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glevelius
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Dec 26 @ 10:10PM
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A man? God forbid he should show up here 
I'll take that honor of being the first and saying that everything you described for your "perfect for you" man would be what I, personally, would want in my "perfect for me" woman :)
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RedHotCajunSpice
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Dec 26 @ 10:13PM
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Thank you for sharing!  We realize that no person is 100% perfect. A few good qualities can make a world of difference in a relationship. 
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kewlkajn
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Dec 26 @ 11:15PM
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That's what most REAL men want, too. Beautifully put. I gave you a kudos.
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callmemax
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Dec 26 @ 11:26PM
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sooooooooooo, you want someone that wants to be with you, regardless of what you're doing, or why you're doing it.... hmmmmm. interesting. if we all could only find someone that we felt that way about, anddddddddddddd that felt that way about us. as usual,,, enjoyed the read.
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luvshorses644
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Dec 26 @ 11:39PM
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Snappy .. I am so happy for you lady.. you and your new groom deserve all the best! and thanks RedHot for the comments..
Now, to the three, that's right only 3, brave men that stumbled in here, wished they hadn't but thought that they prolly should leave a comment in case there was any way I would get the CSI team in here to trace who they were... Thank ya guys.. and I enjoyed the comments...
Max.. come on ya bugger.. admit it you believe it is possible too.. don't be holding out on me Max.. after all you owe me.. ya be the one that posted that blog that called something horrible about me to the attention of all..you are so dead meat!!! Only joshin.. thanks guys for the input and honesty...
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callmemax
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Dec 26 @ 11:56PM
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in case a newcomer stumbled upon this blog,,, mzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz C~~~~ is referring to the fact  that she  is now in her 55th year.  she threatens, but i feel safe... cause mich, is a big state.
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Bojangles102
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Dec 27 @ 12:03AM
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Here's an answer for you in the spirit of Christmas.
When we were kids we had a long list of things for Santa Claus to bring us.
On Christmas morning we may have gotten one or two of the things on the list, yet we were happy all the same. (Santa couldn't carry everything on his sleigh.)
Even if we had received everything on the list, next year there would be more things that we would want.
When we grew up we learned that the real pleasure was in the giving.
Maybe finding love is the same....Accept what you receive and be happy with it and make it as good as possible. Make your happiness in the loving and not the being loved.
Or you can grow old, never to be satisfied.
(Just because I can't have a new Mercedes doesn't mean that I never own a car.)
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ladyraindove74
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Dec 27 @ 6:42AM
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Very well put Luvs...you have a way with words. Now, got any ideas how we all can find this fellow with all the desirable qualities? :-)
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luvshorses644
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Dec 27 @ 8:38AM
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Thank all of you for your comments. Again, I would like to clarify that this is not some checklist I take with me when I meet someone and do the observation and notching of the traits. These are qualities that I find attractive and will draw me to an individual that I would like to have a committed relationship with. In order to know if these exist, you need to spend what everyone considers a waste of: time (as when they say they have wasted time with someone if they are not THE ONE)-- with an individual.
I think that the qualities I refer to are what makes up the person I hope to spend the remainder of my time left here with. This is who they are inside and can most probably be summed up in just one smaller version of all my bulleted words by my saying that I hope to find someone attracted to my inner person as much as I am to him.
And I should probably add that I tend not to guage the physical attributes with a ton of merit, granted there must be some initial attraction to looks, but I have spent many hours with some very good looking people, who, after a time listening to their point of views I determined that I would never be able to be in a committed relationship because of that interaction. On that same note, I have been attracted to people others perhaps thought I never would have been simply because after listening to them deal with problems, with people, with life in general, I gravitated toward them. I have seen disclaimers asking people to be certain heights, look certain ways, weight requirements, etc. Perhaps by making those first and foremost the individuals they passed up could have shown them more love then they ever imagined and I am sure that could not be the case. I never meant to try to write a "how to" manual for anyone, I hope you understand that I was simply trying to answer a question to the best of my ability.
To an extent I agree with Bo when he states that you must learn to make your own happiness, but I, myself, do not agree with his statement:
Make your happiness in the loving and not the being loved Loving, to me, must be mutual to survive.. I could not survive a relationship where the love factor was not mutual give and receive balanced.
Thanks again to all .. I hope each can find the partner they seek.. just around the next corner, when you least expect it..BAM (Gosh, shades of Emeril snuck in there)
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Bojangles102
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Dec 27 @ 11:26AM
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To an extent I agree with Bo when he states that you must learn to make your own happiness, but I, myself, do not agree with his statement:
Make your happiness in the loving and not the being loved
Loving, to me, must be mutual to survive.. I could not survive a relationship where the love factor was not mutual give and receive balanced.
For clarification, the fact that the love must be mutual, is a given.
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Loyal_805
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Dec 28 @ 8:49PM
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In a close-to-perfect world it would be nice if the focus was on the qualities that you mentioned. I noticed that most of the women that have responded are over 40. And, the only reason I mention this is b/c most women under 40 tend to be more superficial especially out here on the West coast. 
I have many of the qualities you've listed and have been told I'd make a nice husband, however I'm still single. Unfortunately I've found that even women place a lot of emphasis on what's outside. It's always been thought that men are the ones that are typically "sight" oriented, but women are too.
Without getting too off-topic, IMO the media has a lot to do with what is considered attractive and unfortunately many try to find someone that looks like the celeb they idol... 
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