There are days, especially toward the end of the week, that I wonder if I have lost my insanity as I try to balance school, work and family. 
But ultimately, when I look at it closely, it truly has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. Has it been easy? Heck no. Especially at the beginning. I had been out of school for 25+ years!
Entering classrooms where many of the students were younger than my two eldest, and even many of the professors were younger than I, seemed as if it might be a little awkward.
I realized to go to school I would depend a large part on scholarships (if I still had what it takes to get good grades) and loans. Going in debt is always a scary venture - especially for someone who had FINALLY gotten their home paid off and was still rejoicing about being out of debt. But then, one has to wonder, when is the cost of a dream too much - no matter how old that dream might be.
I guess the biggest stumbling block of all was me. What if I got into school and I had forgotten everything important? What if I failed? What if I wasn't smart enough or committed enough to see this through? Serious debates and fears that I fought within myself.
I was lucky in so many ways. My children believed in me so much that I dared to believe in myself too. Oh that first semester was a challenge, I won't lie about that - especially the math  which was never my best subject anyway. The school offered free tutoring but I was fortunate there too, I had tutors in my children. As frustrated as I would get with myself on things I didn't understand (Algebra - I had enough trouble with that in high school all those years ago!!) They were ever patient and supportive.
But as difficult and challenging as that first semester was, I stuck with it. And like all things do, it got easier. As I work toward a goal I never accomplished after high school, I count my blessings that I am here at all. It is so easy to convince ourselves that 'we are too old,' 'It's too late,' 'we don't have time, or money.....' Believe me, I probably used every excuse in the book on myself. But underneath it all was just plain, old-fashion fear.
And what has coming to college as a non-traditional student brought me? Personally, a sense of accomplishment and abilities to a degree I never possessed. A sense of pride.
Sometimes when we spend so much time hearing how we can't, it is hard to convince ourselves that we can. But when we get past those who want only to hold us down and show ourselves they were wrong - well, there is nothing like the confidence that grows within us. It isn't always easy, but you know what? It is always worth it.
So for those of you out there going through the "if only's..." remember it is never too late. A dream only stops from being a reality when we let it (the dream) go.
Dream big, study hard and celebrate that you had the courage, strength and ability to walk onto that campus grounds and say "I want to get my degree."
Whatever your dream, never give up. I can think of nothing worse than my final thoughts in life to be "If only..."
Regret only comes from not trying and I truly believe that anything is possible if someone wants it bad enough.
So that's my 'ramblings' for the day. Dream big, study hard and keep moving forward. 
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
|
|
read more blogs!
|