I've been thinking about my horses a LOT lately... I figured I'd just go ahead and make a blog out of it. The comments in italics are mine. :)
Riding isn't a sport, the horse does all the work. In the riding I do... (walk/trot) All I have to is keep as still as possible and steer. In most cases, absolutely not true.
If you kept the house as neat as you do the barn, we wouldn’t have to look for things. Also true.. but in the house rearranging and cleaning isn't NEARLY so interesting!
Sure, I can ride. I went riding on my vacation two years ago. Oh gods, have I heard this one before! My response would be to put them on my youngest horse if I didn't like them, and let them get bucked off. If I liked them, I'd put them on Ripley. NOBODY falls off Ripley.
Your horse is only worth what someone will pay you for him. No. They're worth 10 times that to me, in therapy costs alone. My horses are like medicine.. the BEST kind, for the soul.
Oh -you’re going to breed her.. how long will it take her to have a litter? I actually had a friend ask me if Ripley had dropped her CALF yet. (for those of you who don't know, baby horses are FOALS, and it takes them damn near a year to gestate. And there's usually only one. SOMETIMES two.)
Shouldn’t that saddle in your front room be in the barn? Why? They make wonderfully comfortable chairs! I have two in front room, seriously.
Why do you have so many horses? You can only ride one at a time. Like I said, medicine. Plus I like to have people to ride with occasionally.
Geez- It’s ONLY a horse! Geez.. it's ONLY your kid!
___ is old and you don’t ride him anyway, why don’t you sell him? Again. Medicine. And loyalty, something that doesn't much to most people.
Did you know that your horse is foaming at the mouth? Oh NO, RABIES! RUN! No, seriously, if she has a bit in her mouth, she's playing with it with her tongue. If not, she probably got into some clover or something. They DO that.
The way you treat that horse, you’d think it was part of your family. They are. MORE so than some human members.
I heard that Dr Phil said that owning a horse is good exercise - for the horse. Watch me work horses sometime.
Haven’t you outgrown that horse “thing” yet? Nope. Don't plan to, either.
Any phrase containing the word “hayburner” Although with Ripley.. that's pretty accurate. :)
If you spent as much time with your husband as you do your horse, you’d have a happier marriage. Not an issue here, but I'm SURE the horse would be much better company, no matter WHO your husband is.
You have a Quarter Horse? Where’s the rest of him? VERY funny. We've never heard that one before.
Did you step in something? Your boots stink. Probably. Got a problem?
Should you still be riding at your age? I'm sorry! Should I just drive myself to the nursing home, or would you rather, to make sure I get there safely?
When can we come to ride? Can you ride?
You have to buy hay? Can’t they just eat grass? Sure. Go out there in winter and find me a good acre of grass daily for them to eat, and I'll never have to buy hay again!
What, I shouldn’t wear flip-flops out to your barn? Do you want broken, horse-shit covered toes?
Do you have any clothes besides jeans & horse t-shirts? No. Why?
Why do you take lessons? I thought you knew how to ride. NEVER stop learning.
The baby horse is so cute - (when referring to an aged PONY) Try asking questions before you prove you're an idiot. lol!
You should show that horse who’s boss, then he’ll do what you want! You know, you're RIGHT. Hop in the saddle and do that for me, would you?
My teen is so lazy. I'll send him/her to your place-maybe you can get him/her to work! If you don't mind him/her coming home with bruises from horses and smelling like a barn.. go right on ahead.
How many more times are you going to let that horse throw you off before you give it up? MY horse has never thrown me.. YET. (Next time I hop on, I'm sure she will, just for retribution now.) I have a friend whose horse threw her 3-4 times before she finally sold his psycho ass.
Do horses really have a personality? Do you?
Eew! Horse poop. How do you walk around here? Two choices. Walk through it, or around it. If you walk around it, you'll probably through another pile you didn't notice.
So where do you get all of your money? I know you have money, cause you've got horses. Ha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'd better stop before I rupture myself.
Doesn’t it hurt when you fall off? Wanna try it and find out?
Your barn is cleaner than your house. And?
Imagine how much money you’d have if you didn’t have all these horses to feed! Imagine how much poorer I'd be for lacking them in my life!
Why put your vet’s/farrier’s kids through college? You could be taking a vacation! My horse IS my vacation.. only all the time!
Are you sure he can breathe with that thing (girth) wrapped around his gut? Trust me. He can.
Why don’t you train him to go outside like a dog, instead of in his stall? I've got an idea. YOU train him. Call me when you're done, 'kay?
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| Things NOT to say to a horse owner.. |
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