A tale from mid-childhood when I had a teacher who was a very good teacher who sought to share with us, her class, the wonders of the world and to create in us somewhat more of a social conscience.
One way in which she sought to do this was by having us experience things from othe countries and cultures; and the way she thought up that seemed best and most fun at the time was for her to guide us along with taste experiences.
We forgave her for it, eventually, because she never made us eat a live tadpole or stink salmon. However, she did make us eat "muk tuk" aka: whale blubber.
It was filthy, nasty, super fishy tasting stuff and we all developed a new love for Green Peace that day.
"Please, " we cried to any Japanese men walking by, for years after, "Don't harpoon the whales! Our teacher may make us taste them!" .
So much for social conscience, eh?
Even though we were in Alaska we did not have to cry out this sort of thing at any of the Natives as the more whale catching inclined of them were busy out in the villages doing it in a more traditional way and didn't seem inclined to want to share, even if we had asked
We were not going to ask!
We hated the taste of the whale blubber and immediately all developed the same need to rush to the sink to get a drink of water.
"Don't spit the muk tuk out." said our teacher.
"No no, I won't I just want a drink to wash it down."
"Children, listen to me, " she called out, after the fifth one of us left on the same errand and mysteriously developed a love of and ability to swallow their muk tuk before returning to the classroom, as evidenced by it's disappearance and their insistance that they did not spit it out into the sink . "You musn't spit the muk tuk into the sink. You need to chew it and swallow it."
"Yes Ma'am: may I get a drink of water now?" yelled out the other 29 or so of us who had yet to rid ourselves of the dreadful tasting fat.
Yes, we hated the muktuk and the janitor, who had to clean many bits of partially chewed muk tuk out of the sink hated it, us, and the teacher; but, then, he ate haggis, so what right did he have to judge?
We hated it with such a passion that nothing could convince us to try it again, or read anymore about whales, or to stop from cheering whenever people mentioned that Moby Dick was about a man trying to kill a poor, defenseless whale
hmm yes Social conscience was not thriving and, in fact, social conscience could have bitten us if it would have gotten us out of anymore whale tastings.
Although she did succeed in the one respect that we, who had formerly been a class torn apart by social classicism and geographical bias, were not united in cause: 'Cause we just didn't want to be forced to taste bad things again and gladly would we defend the rights of All to preseve the right of the One.
Our teacher heard and she relented, promising us no more whale blubber, no whale meat, nothing fishy at all . .and instead she brought us : vegemite.
First there were some trite and pithy comparison to peanut butter, which are possibly accurate statistically but very very wrong morally, I can assure you!
For those of you who are unaware: Vegemite is said to be to Australian children what Peanut Butter is to American children. This is a complete and utter falsity, brought on by the one solid fact : they are both generally eaten after school and liked by the sort of people who grew up not knowing any better.
Vegemite and Peanut Butter are worlds apart and there should be no comparison. Perhaps Vegemite and Tuna fish as they are both non-sweet and allegedly good on sandwiches, high in some of the same nutritional qualities, etc. To compare Vegemite and Peanut Butter is to inflict heretofore unimagined cruelties upon humanity.
Think of it this way:
A person tells you chocolate and butterscotch are similar in that they are both loved by people and then has you taste the one less popular in your own country.
Not so bad, is it? No, it isn't, because you've got your tongue all set for the one you are used to and so it's a bit of a surprise, maybe a disappointment, but at least it's somewhere related in quality.
Now, what if they were comparing caramel syrup and sauerkraut? See, now that would be bloody horrible because they are not the same sort of taste category, texture, color, or nothing! Your tongue would be set for one and the other would touch it and cause it to blister up, crack in two, and fall out of your mouth forever.
And then the tasting befell us:
And upon the tasting we all cried out in unison "Oh, that's what muk tuk is good for: killing the taste of vegemite!"
Webegged her to fetch her leftover muk tuk so that we could swab our tongues with it or, perhaps, poke a hole in it to put the vegemite in. Alas to no aval!
And to this day, if you want to elicit a shudder from me, all you have to do is sneak up behind me and whisper the dreaded word: "Vegemite!"
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Blogs by HopelesslyHopeful:
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Monsterboy
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Feb 8 @ 5:50PM
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Well that does it, now I've got to try Vegemite!
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SouthernSweetness
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Feb 8 @ 6:27PM
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Having lived in Australia I can say that Vegemite tastes to me like a bouillon cube smells.
As for the comparison, it is more along the lines that the average Aussie is brought up on it as the average American is raised on peanut butter. It would be naive of someone to think the comparison is in the taste. Try it on a piece of buttered toast but be warned, spread it on very lightly.
Monster, I have some here now if you would like a taste. 
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HopelesslyHopeful
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Feb 8 @ 6:29PM
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lol Don't tell anyone, but sometimes, so do I! .. I mean, it's been a long time and I remember it with such dread, and I read a few things about certain reactions to yeast and such that I have to wonder: is it really that bad? was it an allergic reaction? ... and then, there is a bit of that attitude, that desire that leads men up mountains armed with very teeny hammers that are going to do absolutely buptkis in regards to protecting them from falling rocks, falling off, eagles, stray bears, irate farmers (lower levels) and etc. That thing that says :"Oh come on, do it: I dare you!"
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HopelesslyHopeful
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Feb 8 @ 6:38PM
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As for the comparison, it is more along the lines that the average Aussie is brought up on it as the average American is raised on peanut butter
Yes, but, my point is that the average American is also brought up on tuna sandwiches and that's a LOT closer to being anything like vegemite which is also high protien and tastes like something dragged out of the ocean.
Mentioning peanut butter makes a person think of blandness, smoothness, and /or sweetness. Vegemite is not anything like bland or smooth, so they should have compared it to the one that is stronger tasting, textured: tuna.
Don't make me write a poem about it!
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Monsterboy
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Feb 8 @ 11:23PM
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Monster, I have some here now if you would like a taste.
Now there's an obvious way to read this, and another obvious way to read this. And that's unfair. Either way, if I get it wrong, I feel both stupid and ungentlemanly -- being thought stupid I don't mind so much, but the other bothers me.
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HopelesslyHopeful
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Feb 9 @ 12:04AM
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*sigh* My suggestion would be to write to her and tell her you'd very much like a taste and after about two or three more emails you should know exactly how to read it.
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gray_cat
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Feb 9 @ 6:26AM
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I agree, comparing Peanut Butter and Vegemite is just ridiculous....after all VEGEMITE RULES!  Sorry but I'm an Aussie  but I did enjoy your story  . Next time, as SouthenSweetness said, try spreading it thinly. The biggest mistake anyone makes, when first trying Vegemite, is to put it on like it was peanut Butter....even I'd go yuck (well not really) 
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MarcusAHero
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Feb 9 @ 9:16AM
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I think Vegemite is the same product as Marmite in Britain.
I was brought up on marmite. My first experience of it was spread extremely thinly on toast strips. Now I also use it to flavour white sauce and add a savoury flavour to white rice. Possibly on the weird side mix it in with peanut butter to dampen down the oversweet taste. You don't spread Marmite or Vegemite like Jam or peanut butter on toast for then taste is then over powering, like putting ten teaspoons of coffee in a cup of coffee, it is too much taste. It needs to be spread so that you get a hint of the flavour one small jar should be good for about 500 pieces of toast.
For those who have already experienced it at overwhelming gale force 10 power, you are probably doomed to never like the taste of salt and vitamin B's that at one time was the yeast that went into making beer.
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HopelesslyHopeful
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Feb 9 @ 9:33AM
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It was spread thin It tasted like a One A Day Multi-vitamin that the coating had been sucked off of only less iron and more ick
But then I found out later I have a problem with yeasts . I can and do sometimes eat bread and such but I have to mostly avoid it.
It may have not been spread as thin as it should be, though, from what MarcusAHero says lol
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HopelesslyHopeful
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Feb 9 @ 9:35AM
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Oh and for the record: I think the act of slobbing on jelly or jam is absolutely disgusting, too! There should be enough to taste and/or keep you from choking on the peanut butter if that's what you're eating.
Although I must admit to going overboard on orange marmelade as often as possible. mmmmmmm lovely orange marmelade I don't like the bitter or the super sweet, but the kind that is a bit of both It's wodnerful !
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Monsterboy
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Feb 9 @ 9:03PM
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*sigh* My suggestion would be to write to her and tell her you'd very much like a taste and after about two or three more emails you should know exactly how to read it.
No need. read the profile after I quipped, and it was made quite clear. Heh. Not the first time I've so erred. :D
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HopelesslyHopeful
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Feb 9 @ 11:26PM
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oh! Well, maybe she thinks you're the woman of her dreams .. stranger things have happened lol I shan't give up hope of your impending romance
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