Hello All,
I hope everyone is doing good.
I've been quite busy unpacking and watching my grandson, Jadyn. I've only had 3 anxiety attacks since I've been home in the new house. I think that's pretty good!
My x boyfriend came back into my life this past week. Man was I shocked to see him walk through my bedroom door the other night!!  Seemed like he just showed up out of thin air!
NO, nothing happened...lol Just talked and I MADE him come down and talk to my kids to get their opinions about the whole thing...whatever the "thing" is.
We are taking "it" very very slow. We went out last night for a couple hours. It was good to get out, but I really felt out of my element. I seen old friends who've not seen me for at least 2 yrs, or that came to Jason's wake and funeral and I didn't remember they were there.
I felt like it was WRONG for me to be out. I don't think I was ready, but that's why he took me out. He says I'm cooped up in the house too much and I NEED to get out and see our old friends.
I have to admit, it did feel good to put on make-up and get semi dressed up for a couple hrs, but the dark circles under my eyes couldn't be hidden, no matter how hard I tried.
I feel like I did when we started dating the 1st time. I feel giddy...is giddy a word..lol
Today he has plans to take me to LaCrosse (54 miles away) out to eat. We'll probably do some shopping while we're up there too.
I'm scared as heck to fall for this man again, who's had my heart for 3 yrs now, and probably will until I die!! I keep telling myself, I can't get hurt, I have a heart of stone since my son was taken from me....I CAN'T GET HURT!
Maybe if I keep telling myself that, I won't.
The kids are doing well. Although I'm starting to worry about Matt and school. He hasn't been very enthused about going lately. I'm going to talk to the guidence councelor Monday about him.
I'm sure it's hard for him to walk down the same hallways that his brother walked down a year ago. I'm also getting him back into counceling. I think he needs it. As do I. I've made an appointment to go to the same one I had after my divorce.
Well, I hope everyone has a good weekend. Don't worry if you don't hear from me for a few days, I'm in good hands!
Much love,
JIni
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