For the past week and a half, I was VERY VERY happy being with my x boyfriend. He was making, and I mean MAKING me get out of the house and getting me out to do things, other than watching the baby and unpacking.
We took a drive to LaCrosse Saturday, just to go up there and eat. It's an hour drive away. It's a bigger city than where I live now, big shopping malls and larger stores, more variety. More places to eat, I'm not going to say if the places to eat are much better than here though. But, nonetheless, MORE of EVERYTHING....
I thought we had a good time. We met Carah and 2 of her friends up there and ate at Red Lobster. Wouldn't have been my 1st choice, since I don't like seafood of any kind.
Anyways, to make a long story short, we had a good time, but i could tell Joe was very distant. We'd been out the night before, and he was fine. He was his happy self. We'd sat and talked about everything for hours. We couldn't stop talking almost. We even talked about "us".
Every night for the past week he's called me at least once after he got off work, sometimes 2 times.
I got a note during this past week from a guy I haven't seen for almost 7 years, and he was in jail and needed my help. Of course, after the way me and my children were treated by him, I wasn't going to help him out. He was brought up here from TX for not paying child support. I told Joe about the note and I also told him I was going to respond and what I was going to say. I even read the letter to Joe's Mom, as we're best friends. That was Monday night I talked to Joe about it, Tuesday that I read the letter to his Mom and sent it out. It basically said I gave my heart away 4 yrs ago, he was in my life, and for the other guy to stay away. I wanted NOTHING to do with this other man...NOTHING.
I don't know if that's what triggered what I'm about to tell you or if it's just Joe, screwing up AGAIN with me.
I found out yesterday when I got back from the doctor from my son, Matt, who was in school and Joe's x gf's Mom came to the school, (her other daughter is a teacher there, Matt's teacher) and singled Matt out and asked him if Joe and I were seeing each other again. Matt's response was, I guess. She came back with, "well that's awful funny, Dawn (her daughter) and Joe were together last night.
Now I don't know if she's trying to start trouble or what, BUT Joe did NOT call me Tuesday night like he said he would.
Meanwhile I have a gilftbag of things over here for him for V-day, and was taking him and the kids out to Chinese for supper.
He never called me last night by 5:30 so I called his Mom and told her what I'd heard, she said she'd tell him to call. He didn't call by 7 so I went over there. He was in the basement, where he lives, and in the shower. He ORDERED me to get out, and go upstairs, that he was in the shower. I was stunned!! In shock is more like it.
So, I went up to write him a note. I was talking to his Mom and she suggested to maybe wait and try talking to him in a couple days.
But by goodness, It was Valentines Day, and AGAIN....he was leaving me and my kids hanging.
I went back down about 1/2 hr later to talk to him and low and behold, he had the sofa pulled in front of the door so I couldn't get in to talk to him.
I went upstairs crying....something I PROMISED MYSELF I'd NEVER DO AGAIN OVER A MAN.....I feel awful now....
I told his Mom what he did and she couldn't believe it either.
I was his girlfriend first, and then he cheated on me with her.....I know what you are going to say.........Stay away from him...once a cheater..always a cheater!!
She has called the cops on him endless times. He was never once violent when we were together, never even raised his voice..and we were together for a year.
She sent him to prison this past summer, has had him in jail numerous times, she'd call to get him to come over, knowing she had a restraining order on him, and he was stupid and foolish enough to go. They'd go drinking, end up in a fight, guess who went to jail...yep..Joe.
So, Joe and I are done.
I really thought he'd changed "this time". I really did! He spoke words to me that I"d never heard before. I guess he didn't though.
I haven't had a chance to talk to him yet...but I dont have too, nor will I ever. I got my answer as to where he was by his reactions.
I was happy being single for the past 3 yrs, and i'm happy today.
I'm just upset because he promised the kids again and broke his promise 
I WON'T DO IT AGAIN....NEVER....I was wondering...should I send him a letter in the mail, or let it go?? You guys have given me some awesome advice before.
I was thinking, Just let it go. Forget him again, like I have before. I don't think he needs an explanation from me as to why I don't want to be around him anymore, and if he shows up at my door, I'll show him the sidewalk to walk back down the street.
Thanks for reading......and thanks for the advice before hand...
Much love,
JIni
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maggiemae684
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Feb 15 @ 11:00AM
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I am so sorry you had to go through this........as for the letter......he isn't worthy of you or your time.......move on to happier places and don't look back.......leave him to wallow in what might have been.....huggggs to you
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Snappygoddess
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Feb 15 @ 11:02AM
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Jini,
You are in a vunerable state right now.. have been for a while and often times when we are vunerable, our hearts want to hear certain things and our head follows our heart and we don't think clearly.
Sounds like there have been signs and red flags that you have chosen to ignore maybe even subconsciously for the sake of keeping "Joe" close to you.
If I were in your place.. I would just not bother telling him anything.. he made it clear how he felt when he refused to talk to you or call you when he said he would. The writing is on the wall, hon... he just doesn't want what you do. And you deserve more then settling for the scraps he dishes out to keep you hanging on!!!!
Take some time off from dating.. spend time with your kids.. more importantly, spend some time with yourself and get to know who YOU are and what you want out of life.. so you NEVER have to settle for being treated any way except what you deserve!!
Give yourself time to heal from other wounds before moving on to other involvements and a lot of heartache can be avoided!!
Best of luck and my prayers remain with you for a successful, peaceful life 
~Belinda~
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poniepower
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Feb 15 @ 11:15AM
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Thanks ladies,
I've been single and out of the dating thing for about 3 years now. A few months ago, a friend of mine was over on a Saturday night, we held hands and that's about it, that's before we moved home again. I guess he only wanted 2 things from me, which I wasn't willing to give one of, ...a couple of one night stands, and a free babysitter. I think it was in one of my blogs. I did babysit for him a couple of times, until my nerves just couldn't take it anymore. It was just too soon for me to be taking on more responsibility than I could handle at that time.
As far as a letter to Joe, I thinking the same thing when I typed the blog, just let him figure it out. I've tried, and that's all I can do. I'm done with him, he's hurt my kids for the VERY LAST TIME. He may have my heart, from 4 years ago when we were REALLY dating, but as time is healing my heart from Jason, I don't have the room for more heartache right now. I'm not really hurt this time, it's just my kids I'm worried about.
I did type a "rage" letter last night, and it felt awesome to get everything out on paper. I saved it on my puter so I can go back and read it, "just in case" he were to show up again. I could send him away, and then read the letter to remind myself not to feel guilty for doing so.
Thanks again
Jini
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Victory1940
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Feb 15 @ 11:18AM
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I agree with the other ladies, let it go.. but I think you should write a letter to him. Tell him everything you want to say to him but don't send it.. rip it up and burn it.. hide it in a place you won't find for a long time to come.. This will help cleanse your heart and let the healing begin. (Suggested to me awhile back and it really does help!)
Hugs
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sciurusniger
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Feb 16 @ 9:59AM
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Just let it go, my friend. Just let it go.
You tried. Not once, but numerous times. And he's made his intentions towards you perfectly clear.
You are quite free to just walk away now. He doesn't deserve the energy it takes to be angry or upset, nor is he even deserving of the care you would take in writing him a letter.
You have better things to do with your energy, your time, your life.
I'm sorry you had to go through this....
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