Aye, I know, some people say the things are one and the same but hush! For I don't mean the madness of Scotsmen but the madness caused by them.
I have a habit of meeting tall, intelligent, handsome (or, at least, attractive),sweet Scotsmen. Don't go out of my way to do it, and yet it has happened several times, but only online mind you, over the last few years.
Now, in most cases it became fairly quickly known that the man was simply interested in a tumble or a natter. In one case, he was married but he and his wife had an agreement that they had entered into but which, as tempting as he was, I did not feel similarly inclined to agree with.
That leaves three very interesting men unaccounted for, then. All three of whom are wonderful conversationalists when they have the time and mind for it, ride motorbikes, have piercings; two of which have interesting tattoos; one of which is tattooed all over with mostly clowns.
One of them, however, wanted to get married and settle down with someone right away. He was very interested in me but not interested enough to wait a year (of us getting to know each other better) before jumping into a relationship. I have baggage aka: children. So that's that: I was cut out of his life, quicker than a wink.
What he probably does not realize is that we talked before and I rejected him, at the time, as a person who couldn't even hold a conversation. Perceptions of people do change, some people are worth revisiting. And, yes, he was worth talking to, despite his weirdness at the end.
And yes he does miss me, the silly twonk. Pretty sure he thought I was trying to let him down easy and so he dropped me before I could drop him. Pity as we started out, this time, arguing lightly over all things Alaskan and .. I like a man who can stand his ground without getting overly insulting about it. Or who will say "No, that doesn't work for me: we'll do it this way: ....." Well, if it's the right man, anyway.
"I want a woman who can GO NOW" he said and then he was gone lol
That leaves two out of the three who really peaked my interest. One of whom is in a hospital somewhere dying and the other who is calling around to find out where.
That may be a bit over-dramatic as it could be the one is already out of the hospital ,since I have no idea of how bad his injuries were; but then it may not be dramatci enough: that remans to be seen.
These two, one whom I've known for years and one whom is a very recent acquaintance, are maddening.
Very tall; perhaps not traditionally handsome but definitely handsome, interesting personalities, charm, wit, a willingness to think of and help out others, and generally wonderful.
On paper, so to speak, they are as close to perfect for me as anyone has ever gotten. Of course, one never really knows until you've gotten to know the person better offline and up close.
And no, I don't mean that close. Sex is wonderful but unless there are some major deviancies needing to be sorted out, I don't think it should make or break a relationship at all.
If life were a supermarket, sex would be that little extra bottle of conditioner attached as a bonus buy to the shampoo, or the little tube of toothpaste that comes with the toothbrush. In other words: it's not what you are reaching for, but it's really nice to discover you can get it and it makes you go "Oh good! I needed some of that!" .. it's a wonderful addition to what you were shopping for.
So. .they are both maddening in more ways than one, mostly delightful and rather sexy ways, I might add. But here is where the real madness lays.
I fell in love with the one, years ago; he was going to come visit me at one point but then things changed with his health and he had to delay it. Somewhere in there he told me he just wanted to be friends. It's a very complicated thing to explain all that happened, when it happened, and to sort out the truth from the lies (for it also involves a woman hacking both our accounts and rewriting emails and such) but in the end the truth that emerges is that he's too ill to travel, I'm too poor to do so right now, and for whatever reason, which it's mostly suspected it's that he's feeling less than manly due to that illness, he cut off all thought of being with anyone except as friends.
Twice, in the time since I've met him, I've talked to two men who I was sure were interesting and attractive enough, to me personally, that I could be interested in them. I mean, where I wouldn't be comparing them to him and such
That's vitally important to a relationship that they are people you aren't comparing to other people lol Especially if the other person is someone you love more than anyone else that has entered your life so far that did not actually come from you.
The one who cut me off completely is one of them so .. while he had his good points .. it's not exactly going to break my heart that we shan't be going further in the relationshp. That's just not something I could ever do to someone or even fathom doing, especially not to someone I was claiming to be interested in.
The other one just wants to be friends.
Mind you, there is every indication that he will be a very good friend and a good friend is always a blessing. . but ...
My son started to question me on this man, as sons like to do and I told him that he just wanted to be friends. So my son sighed and said "No more Scotsmen for you. Try the Irish!" lol
Maybe the madness is in bothering to try or hope at all. I often think I shan't ever again, but then, you know, someone with this certain way of looking at life, this charm, happens by ... and the madness continues
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