I think the sun may shine........ posted 4/1/2007 1:58:03 PM | 3 kudos what's this?     report abuse

poniepower

As I sit here, posting in the forums, I realize how happy and safe I feel with all my MD friends.
This past week has been a nightmare for me, but with the help of MD I've made it through it.
I never would have believed I could make the 1st yr without my son, Jason. But, I have, and as I know the road is still going to be rocky, and bumpy, and tiresome, I know that I can go on, and I can smile again.
I went to the cemetary this morning, after I took the baby home. It was rainy and cold here, or I would have taken him with me. As soon as I got to the cemetary, it quit raining. It was so peaceful there. As it always is. I wrote in his book and stayed for a while, and asked him to look over his siblings and nephew.
When I came home, I was sad, very sad, but not crying.
I knew just what I NEEDED. I needed to be among friends. MY "other" FAMILY. So, here I am!!
I got online and went straight to the forums, and there ya's were.
I"ve done nothing but laughed out loud and smiled at some of your smartass remarks and your humor....AND I LOVE IT!! My mood isn't sad anymore, although I am still having some anxiety this morning.
I learning, through my friends here, how to cope and deal with my feelings and that i's OK to cry, be angry, sad, emotional, quiet, or whatever I feel. I've found out that it's normal.....WHATEVER my normal is now.........
I guess this is my normal....I never know from one minute to the next how I'm going to feel, but what I do know, is when I'm here on Matchdoctor, in the forums...I smile...and I smile alot.
Even though it's cold and rainy and gloomy here in Wisconsin today.....I think the sun may shine again....on me and my family. It'll take some time, YES, but it will shine again...even if it's little rays of sun at a time.....today is one of those days...even though it's overcast and raining.
I've heard some of these words from a dear friend who's read my blogs, but i've never really chatted with before. I thank him, I didn't think it could ever happen!!

Even the mirror CRASHING to the floor and scaring the hell out of me, didn't dampen my spirits just a little bit ago....i started a thread and made fun of it....

This is what I need....I need to realize that it's ok to laugh and smile again...it's what Jason would want!!

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Blogs by poniepower: Please say a Prayer....... Hello All, .....Updates in my household Who I've Become........ An update on me and the kids....19 mths after accident Life right now...as I know it... Just to let you all know I'm still here.... Haven't blogged lately..... Will I make the right choice...Will God guide me in the right direction about... Both fronts have united...(Mom and Dad) TN trip continued....(puter messed up) lol Our trip to Nashville, TN over Easter I was Blessed again today..... I think the sun may shine........ March 25, 2007 How can some people even live with themselves?? Jason's 1st Anniversary, and how I'm coping In Reference to the "Am I getting any better" blog...... A Valentines Day without you. Am I getting any better.... 1st day in the old house alone Seems like everything is falling into place.... I'm back home and I'm feeling VERY good about it!! To ALL my DEAREST MD friends...... To All My MD Friends who've emailed me....... Today was a good day!!