A continuation of my story of Dave.. Part 5 (I left off with teaching him and Pauly to dance and kiss)
I picked up a watermelon & you guys practiced your kissing technique by “kissing” a slice of it.. You learned how to put your lips over the girls without any slobbering and practiced the slow wonderful art of gentle nibbling & sucking.. Quick learners once again! I don’t know if it is p.c. to say I was proud of your accomplishments, but hell, I was. On the ride back to the ole town and apartment, you & Pauly asked me to take a slow ride through a town where you knew some “hot chickies” lived. You were in the front opposite of me & Pauly was riding in the back. At one stop light you two spotted a few “hotties” and started off wolf whistling and do that little thing with your lips pursed and and sucking in…then when the gals turned around, you both ducked and they glared at me.. All the frikken while I was telling your bad azzes to get up & own the crime. I got so many royal salutes that few minutes, I am surprised that the power of them didn’t whisk me right off to where they were sending me.. Hell!
The night of the dance, I came home to pick you and Pauly up and take ya to the dance. You guys were so nervous because up until this very moment you had no idea how much you liked girls even years before.. But this was your very own introduction to the art of flirtation pool. When I picked you up later that night, you and Pauly were smiling from ear to ear…yep, you had a good time! The number of times you and Pauly spent weekends at the apartment were growing and we often went to Buona’s Pizzaria every Saturday night for our “fix” of authentic Italian pizza. The guys that owned Buona’s didn’t speak English really good, but were hell bent on learning and their pizza.. Fantasico!!! I can still remember it, with the grease dripping onto the napkins and the cheese all melted .. You know, Dave, the old pizza parlor is still there .. It has become a landmark.
Two years later, you were ready to take your driver’s test and you asked me if I could take you instead of the “old man” (yeah, we did call dad that, remember?). I had my barely 2 year old red 72 Plymouth Scamp. Off we went with me giving you sisterly advise and letting you drive to the barracks. After you went in and took the oral part of the test, out you came with the trooper and I exited the car and went inside to wait. When you came back, you didn’t speak a word and looked as though you lost your best friend. You even shed a few tears once we got back in the car on the ride back to my apartment, you said you failed and I tried as best I could to console you and after about ½ hour of this you broke out laughin.. Yea, big accomplishment pulling one over your sister!!! You immediately went out and bought your 1969 Black Camaro and how you loved that car! You let me drive it every now and then as I was engaged for almost a year by now and getting married in August of 1974. The following year, my son was born in March and you graduated high school in May. You were an uncle the year before because the 3rd sis gave birth in September of 1974 to her first child and she was only 18. When you graduated, you told dad that you were going to join the Marines. I didn’t want you to do this. But you told me that you needed this because you wanted dad to be proud of you and you could earn the money for college by serving the basic four years. Boot camp came and went and I was pregnant again with my daughter, she was born while you were in boot camp and she was your first niece.
Granddaddy's laugh time:
Two Opinions..: My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" So you see, there really are 2 ways to look at everything.
Bizarre Inventions ------------------
The Tonya Tapper - A personal security steel club named after the notorious skater; suitable for all knee whacking purposes.
Sweet Jesus Chocolate - Tasty milk chocolate crucifix candies that ooze red jelly when bitten.
Insecticide Pantyhose - Bug resistant pantyhose sure to repel spiders, cockroaches, [& probably dates.]
Artificial Spray-On Dirt - For the yuppie whose tired of looking wuss in his luxury S.U.V. This is sure to provide that rugged four-wheeling look.
Drive-Through Window at Funeral Homes - For the more somber drive-by.
Bird Diaper - For Polly when potty training is not an option.
And my favorite  Snif-T-Panties - Women's underwear with built in fragrance to capture the right mood; scents include rose, banana, pickles, pizza and, of course, whiskey.
Photos of bench: cut & paste this link in your internet browser: http://s60.photobucket.com/albums/h11/luvshorses/2007%20Pictures/
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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