I finally made the decision to sell my property down south. It is where I spent the last moments with my husband and where he died. It has taken me a year and a half to make this decision.
If I had the money, I wouldn't sell it. I feel such a connection with him there, and am always comforted after going there. However, no one else in my family feels the same. I am the only one that can go there, they are all too freaked out. Therefore, it is just sitting there without anyone getting any use out of it. I am just throwing my money away on it. It is 80 miles from where I live so I don't even get down there like I would like to.
I made an appointment with the Realtor Sat. Thankfully my sister went with me. I sure didn't expect to have the reaction I had. I started crying, which I haven't done for a good while. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. I got through it, with her help. I just hate the thought that someone else is going to own it, and I won't be able to ever go there again.
When she was bringing me home, we stopped at a store where we used to shop as kids and I found some pretty silk flowers for his grave, and she got some for our mom. (they are in the same cemetery) She said she would take care of it on her way home. I was thankful, but after she left, I started feeling jealous that she was going to do it instead of me. I feel like its my place to do, and I haven't been able to get down there since Christmas. (my car is really sick) Silly I know. Can't help it, thats how I feel.
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Eyes_Wide_Shut
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Apr 15 @ 11:24PM
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peace
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blkfoot1954
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Apr 15 @ 11:34PM
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I know how hard that was for you to go through.I was liek that when I left the home my husband and I had..He is beside you always in your heart.That is something no one can take away.Hugs for you as you go through this..
Feetz
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mystery2u888
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Apr 15 @ 11:38PM
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 So sorry my gf.....  you will always have the memories..I know it is hard..decision...but...you just take your time....maybe something will happen .... xoxox
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mystery2u888
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Apr 15 @ 11:39PM
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So sorry my gf..... you will always have the memories..I know it is hard..decision...but...you just take your time....maybe something will happen .... xoxox
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missliss78
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Apr 16 @ 12:06AM
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Warm hugs for you & loving thoughts go out your way.
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loisday
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Apr 16 @ 12:11AM
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Sweetheart......
How do we let go of that last physical thing that connects us to someone we love, that has passed on? I haven't been able to do it.
Is it healthy to do so? Maybe, but it sure feels like saying good-bye all over again.
I love you C......You know you have my prayers and my ears when ever you need them.
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TallBlonde1
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Apr 16 @ 12:31AM
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It's so hard to let go of places we love and the people they remind us of, I understand how you feel. The good news is you can never sell your memories. Hugs to you.
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beckyiv42000
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Apr 16 @ 1:11AM
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Huggs C... My heart breaks for you reading this and the tough decision you had to make... I know there are certain places I go that remind me of those loved ones that I have lost and it does get better once you start thinking of the happy memories that happened there instead of the fact they you can no longer go there to be with them... lots of love to you hon and peace in your heart
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helen77
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Apr 16 @ 4:43AM
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luvmycats
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Apr 16 @ 6:01AM
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Thank you ladies for your support and understanding.
Yes, he will always be with me, and I do think about our happy times there.
Nights sitting out by the fire...
Us paddling around in our little goofy boat and him flipping upside down off the end of it...
Teaching him how to use a chain saw...SAFELY...
Staking out where we would build our house....
Discovering all the deer trails and inspecting their rubs on the trees...
Getting up before dawn just to watch the deer eating in the field...
Sitting on the pier watching the fish, proud because we built the pier together....
Him laughing at my first attempt at making a "shelter" for an outhouse...
Yep, nobody can take those memories from me. 
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wonder41
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Apr 16 @ 6:35AM
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Yes, I know the feeling..This may seem terrible.but..my B/F of 5 years passed away 3 months ago. and he died in our bed. Every night i cry myself to sleep feeling him near me, keeping me warm..But..I know, If I was to get some sleep at night, I would get rid of that bed..but i just can't yet..i need him..My freinds/fameily say I need to move on. get a new bed ect.. they are freaked out about this.. No, I can't..I am so sorry to hear of your loss , just remember where ever you go, he will be there..and good luck..( I will learn this someday too) peace!!!!
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luvmycats
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Apr 16 @ 6:47AM
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I know, If I was to get some sleep at night, I would get rid of that bed..but i just can't yet..i need him.
Oh hun, my heart is breaking for you. Don't you dare get rid of that bed until YOU are ready to. If you find comfort there then thats where you find comfort. You will do what you need to do in your own way and time. Don't let anyone rush you.
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fayblack
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Apr 16 @ 7:54AM
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Dunno what to say Luvs, other than I am an email away.
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edthepoet
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Apr 16 @ 9:46AM
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Hi, first here's a big comforting hug.
Yes, your loss was and is great, yet at the same time, you so blessed to have such a great love for a period of time, that very few people ever reach. With saying that, I am quite sure your husband is smiling down upon knowing he was blessed to and by knowing to this day, your still shine love for him, bravo
This blog alone says so many wonderful things about you.
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lacyvsq
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Apr 16 @ 2:28PM
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...and I won't be able to ever go there again. Perhaps your buyer will e someone who will welcome you spending time there occasionally...you just never know...
All the best. Cry as many tears as you need.
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luvmycats
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Apr 16 @ 3:08PM
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Thank you for all the kind words. Ed, I really needed that big hug, thanks! Lacy, I am no longer hiding my tears, they fall when they need to fall.
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