1. If you tell us that playing Halo 2 improves the dexterity of your fingers, you'd better be able to prove it.
2. We think Porsches are as overrated and superficial as men who drive SUVs but don't know how to shift them into four-wheel drive.
3. Watching football for three hours on a Sunday is sufficiently masculine. Watching football for nine hours is obsessive and weird.
4. When you are dancing with a woman, know how to lead. When you are intimate, know how to touch.
5. Chivalry does not emasculate you or make you our bitch.
6. Drink milk from a glass and beer from a bottle. (For better beer-drinking tips, observe carefully the sexy two-finger hold used by Jeff Bridges in Against All Odds.)
7. Some of us would very much prefer the little black box from Chrome Hearts rather than the usual blue one from Tiffany's. Translation: Don't underestimate our edge!
8. Grooming you is our biological proclivity. Squeezing, plucking, clipping, trimming--all these activities are ways of showing we love you. Embrace the love.
9. If, while driving, you check yourself out in the rearview more than you look at us, we'll never get in another car with you.
10. Laughter and listening: These are the two bridges between your planet and ours. Do both with us often and we'll love you like crazy.
Annabeth Gish stars as Eileen Caffee in Brotherhood, a Showtime series about two siblings on opposite sides of the law.
This and all other similarly titled blogs posted by me today are courtesy of Esquire magazine (who left them to be printed off and shared) who say:
Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.
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