13 Things You Don't Know About Women ala Paget Brewster posted 4/21/2007 12:23:25 PM | 0 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: women, life, gender roles, copyrighted, humor

HopelesslyHopeful

1. Even if it's cheap jewelry from the drug- store, we'll get all girlie and adore you for it. (Take the price tag and label off, fellas.)

2. When you order before us, the waiter secretively throws us a disgusted glance urging us to break up with you.

3. Hot girls want you to call them smart. Smart girls want you to call them hot.

4. If you cry when we dump you, there will never be any postbreakup sex. I know it's not fair, because we can cry and tear up the joint and chances are you'll toss it our way a month later. But seriously, keep it together.

5. We don't care about your balls. We don't care how big they are or how many you have. They're bothersome little friends we need to be nice to in order to play with the Fun Guy.

6. When you say, "All I did was kiss her":

a) You are already in trouble.

b) We know it isn't true.

7. We love porn. You know those trashy romance novels your aunt reads? Yeah pure porn. We just need epic drama and petticoats to feel okay about our smut.

8. Let's slow down on the coed high-fiving. It makes us feel like dudes.

9. When we have an orgasm, our breasts release a chemical that makes men fall asleep. It's true. I read it in an erotic handbook.

10. The "P-Mate," the "Whiz," and the "TravelJohn" are three devices that help women pee standing up.

11. Women over the age of twenty-two almost never get pregnant by surprise. If she wants to keep the baby and marry you immediately, you are, in fact, being trapped.

12. Because we don't have a prostate gland, that's why. If you don't know the question or understand the answer, look it up.

13. Women are crazy. But if you tell your girlfriend, "I read in Esquire that a woman admitted that women are crazy," she'll call you an idiot. Know that we know we are nuts, and tuck that away in your manly heart.

Paget Brewster stars in Huff, beginning its second season in April on Showtime.



This and all other similarly titled blogs posted by me today are courtesy of Esquire magazine (who left them to be printed off and shared) who say:

Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.

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