The fashion industry prances Size 2 to Size 6 models in our faces and a lot of women buy into that as 'beautiful' and anything larger than that as ugly. So they do buy the diet products, lose temporarily only to regain what they've lost and more. What they fail to also realize is that most of us have BONES larger than a Size 2 or a Size 6 and even if we COULD lose enough weight, we'd still be larger than them.
If Marilyn Monroe were in her prime and alive today, she'd be considered plump by Hollywood's standards and told to go on a diet. Yet the average woman is a Size 16 now.
Barbie would be a 42-23-32 if she were a real woman and unable to stand up. This doll is even convincing children that thin is beautiful and anything more is ugly.
Often women lose weight to attract men. If a man can't look beyond a woman's physical appearance, I say drop him. He's far too superficial to suit me. Most likely he has issues himself and isn't good for anyone. Sure, we all have our preferences, but I say strap down this man and make him watch "Shallow Hal" about two dozen times and he MIGHT get it. There ARE men who love larger women and I started a BBW singles' group Saturday night which proves it. The right man will think you are beautiful inside AND out. The wrong men???!!! Who CARES what they think!
And yet a man can be as heavy as he wants and it's 'okay'. A bit hypocritical don't you think?
Many girls and women even go so far as to become anorexic or bulimic. Both of these are of course deadly. My ex's mother DIED of anorexia even though she was constantly going to doctors for YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew she was anorexic immediately and asked in response to her doctor's, "I don't know what's wrong with her", my response was "could she be anorexic?" He replied, "she's too OLD to be anorexic! I'M the doctor here - you're a LAY person! I know better than you do!" Well, people, anorexia doesn't know 'age'. I was shocked at his arrogance especially since all the warning signs were there for anorexia and I had researched it very heavily. My one girlfriend's daughter also became anorexic/bulimic in HER teens. My girlfriend was called into school to discuss it with a school guidance counselor and the counselor pleaded with my friend to take her and her daughter to an anorexia support group. They went ONCE and after that she refused to take her daughter because they told "Pip" that she was in large part to blame for her daughter's poor self-image. Of course Pip being Pip, she refused to accept that she contributed to this (even though she was constantly voicing her own poor self-image "I'm fat" on her own daughter) which she was not by the way. Pip is pear shaped by nature. She was 10 pounds overweight when she went to that counseling group and to this day if she is to meet a woman friend of mine for the first time, calls the day before to ask how OLD the woman is, is she single and if she's skinnier than her. Such foolishness in MY view!
My now ex-mother-in-law died of anorexia. She was always petite of course and was only 5 ft. 1 but she died weighing 65 lbs. This was not due to cancer or any other deadly disease except for anorexia. I had hospice come in a few weeks before she passed. The hospice nurse called me here in Maine (my mother-in-law was in New Jersey) and told me that she had 48 to 72 hours to live. Her veins had all shut down so putting in an intervenous line was futile. She couldn't swallow so feeding her normally was also futile. The only thing they could do she said was have her live-in nurse's aide pull out her lower lip using an eye dropper filled with water drop by drop. She died two days later.
Until people start realizing that we ARE perfect the way we are, these situations will always occur. Of course we should firm up - exercise to the best of our ability, but vainly attempting to become a Size 6 is not only unhealthy but can also be deadly.
Love who you ARE and what you are. Don't buy the media hype. Not all of us are supposed to be built like Nicole Kidman and even if we were, what a boring world this would be if we all wore a Size 6.
There is someone for everyone so my question now is where is mine?
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| THE SAD TRUTH ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS |
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imlost2
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May 2 @ 8:53AM
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I agree in much of what you have said, however I must stress we all must watch our weight as much as weight loss causes problems too much weight also has it's problems on our hearts, organs, joints, causes disease problems with diabetes and so on, so it goes the other way as well with heart attacts and strokes, one must find a happy medium and keep your weight down and not eat just what ever you wish and excercise daily, staying away from foods that are bad for you.
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freeagent811
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May 2 @ 9:04AM
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I really like the fact that you acknowledged us larger sized women. I am also applauding you for standing up for what you believe in. I am sorry about your former mother in-law. A lot of men find it unattractive to associate with a person of size.They can go jump in Lake Erie!! I know for a fact it is beautiful this time of year!! Especially after we had snow clear into April!!! lol  . Furthermore, I asked myself the same question that you posed in this blog: If there is someone for everyone, where's mine? I hope one day soon, you do find him. I am hopefully finding true love tonight. I met him on this site, and he is coming to visit me!!  ... Keep them coming. If I read something encouraging, I will respond. You go, Girlfriend!! This world needs positive attitudes like yours!!! 
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edthepoet
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May 2 @ 9:06AM
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Yes, love who you are, How powerful three little words truly are.
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CoralArenayMar
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May 2 @ 9:18AM
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Good blog... many have to be reminded that not all people who are overweight are big just because they do not have healthy habits or do not engage on physical activities... most of us lead a healthy life. And it is so sad that some people are so scared to be "considered fat" that they become obsessed, anorexia or bulimia take hold.
Kudos to you! 
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Cynbaby
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May 2 @ 9:19AM
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Runway models are a size "0" and very tall. They normally do a lot of drugs, smoke and do not eat at all. They burn out very fast. If you read Womens Health & Fitness Magazine or any of the other various fitness mags, these are women of normal sizes 2-8 that workout, eat healthy and take care of themselves. They do not need to starve in order to be the ideal body weight. Eating healthy and keeping active keeps you in shape. I'm small boned and muscular, currently wearing a size 4, but I am trying to knock off 10 more pds for the size 2 for the summer, with my body structure I look way too big in a 6. I eat 2800 calories a day, but I keep active. I eat every 3 hours to keep my metabolism up, and I never, ever eat diet foods.
It all depends what size your comfortable in. If you happy with yourself and feel good that's what counts.
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cancun1999
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May 2 @ 9:28AM
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Great blog..  I have to agree if they can't accept you for who you are, then they aren't work having..I know most men prefer the thin slender woman, but there are also a lot of men out there who prefer a little weight on a woman. I believe if they love and want you, then they need to accept the whole package. It is what that is on the inside that counts anyway, as far as I am concerned.
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Panzer105
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May 2 @ 9:37AM
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Choice anyone? I prefer Chevy, maybe Toyota, others prefer Ford, Nissan, maybe even Yugo… Some truckers prefer Kenworth, others Peterbuilt, others Freightliner. Private pilots chose between Cessna, Piper, Lear. Like to eat out? You can choose between a Big Mac, crème-broulette, chateau briand and a side of fries… How about the wine list? Chateau Lafite Rothschilds or Boones Farm?
What would you think if some bystander chided you for your choice… “hey it’s all food, why be picky?” “It all comes out the same.” How about flowers? Roses? Geraniums? Dandelion? Religious choice anyone?
We thrive on choice from birth in all areas of human development and lifestyle, but now we are told by someone with obvious ulterior motives that our power (freedom?) of choice is insensitive and socially abusive. Since early puberty, sitting in the bathroom perusing the lingerie ads in Readers Digest, I have assimilated a desire for women with tight little derrieres, modest firm breasts with nipples like Audi sparkplugs. A mate less than ponderous, one that can tastefully attire herself in less than one yard of material, one that is not gravitationally challenged….
But the ugly spectre of political incorrectness again raises it’s serpantine head, and I now must take what ever comes along, no 4 cylinder vs V-8, no small town vs metropolis, no Playboy vs Rembrandt….
Sorry, I prefer my woman to wear that magical size 2 to 6, at around 5 ft 6 in… Readers Digest can’t be that far off base…
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edthepoet
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May 2 @ 9:49AM
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Make that 4 words, not 3,lol
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etobin45
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May 2 @ 9:57AM
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We are each a child of God and absolutely wonderful............what's not to love? I lost weight because of health issues but I am totally happy not to be a size 6...and I absolutely love me and loved me before I lost the weight!
Excellent post!
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bmwer
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May 2 @ 10:16AM
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Often women lose weight to attract men. If a man can't look beyond a woman's physical appearance, I say drop him. He's far too superficial to suit me You got that right!
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conny90045
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May 2 @ 10:18AM
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I could careless how fat or skinny you are. Beauty comes from within and I am proud on who I am and I know I am a very beautiful woman. If people can't see who you really only through the weight then they have a huge problem.
Great Blog!!!!
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The_Boy_Next_Door
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May 2 @ 10:43AM
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Well it's not o.k. for guys to be huge, How do you think I feel? My ass is so big, I can walk and cover my tracks at the same time! 
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aquabluegems
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May 2 @ 10:51AM
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I am size 18 and can carry my weight. I lift weights and have a positive attitude, do not let the little things bother you. A plus for me is I do not smoke nor drink. I think I will live pass my 80's. Kudo's to you!
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HopelesslyHopeful
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May 2 @ 10:54AM
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Great blog! Sorry about your ex's mother .. that's awful ...
Sure, we all have our preferences, but I say strap down this man and make him watch "Shallow Hal" about two dozen times and he MIGHT get it.
He might, but I doubt it. I absolutely hate that movies message because while one of the messages is that there is more to people than their exterior (and that's a very good message) the other messages are:
1) Once again, that an overweight man has any business discriminating against overweight women. In this movie Jack Black is completely unattractive. He's always been attractive to me before but not here because, let's face it, he's fat and weird looking and his attractiveness comes primarily from his personality that shines through and changes his looks from weird to simply adorable. His personality in this movie was so shallow, so obnoxious, that it pissed me off the whole time that no one said to him "Hey Tubby: who the frig are you to talk?"
2) That fat is the ugliest thing you can be. I mean, so he sees a skinny girl as ugly because of her personality.. okay.. but why does he see her as fat? Why doesn't he see her with a hump back and full of warts only to find out later she's a dancer and a model or something? Why is it always fat? Why isn't she sometimes a large, hairy, flat chested he/she because she's a real ball buster? That pisses me off.
Or I should say it pisses me off now, to think about. At the time it just made me think it's shite and despite the good parts of the movie I have no urge to watch it again.
Those two things in my estimation, along with the hyperbolic state of some of the fat humor (like most fat women crush furniture or have panties that could cover a Buick! Or cause tidal waves in the swimming pool!), turned it into just another gross insult. In fact, I'd say Shallow Hal is a "love letter to fat people" in much the same way that your husband stuping the secretary, but trying to use the same strokes he uses on you, is him thinking of you at the office. It may make the person who made it feel better, but it's not very kind to the person they allegedly made it for.
The right man will think you are beautiful inside AND out. The wrong men???!!! Who CARES what they think!
Never said better!
By the way: they recently found that being too thin puts you at higher risk for breast cancer!
I used to be a size 5 .. people were still bugging me that I was too fat as I have big shoulders, I still had hips, my abdomen still had a bit of curve to it (like a woman actually should), I had big calves and arms (because I am naturally muscular)... I was 13 -16 at the time. I got back down to a size 10/12 after having kids but I was in no way fat. I've got big bones. .and that is not euphemistic, it's just the facts. They got bigger, I got taller, after I had my second child. If I tried to get down to a size 5 now, I'd die from starvation.. and I'd have to chop my shoulders and a few other vital pieces off. Some people are, as you say, just not built that way.
My daughter is a size 2, one of them, though, and she doesn't diet or exercise to get that way, she just got a wonderful combination of her mother's good muscle and her father's little build .. well, he's short and many of the women on his side are tiny people. My other daughter is a size 4, I think .. they haven't the same build at all, and they are both envious of the other at times.
We thrive on choice from birth in all areas of human development and lifestyle, but now we are told by someone with obvious ulterior motives that our power (freedom?) of choice is insensitive and socially abusive.
Excuse me? The blog here is about choice. . but just because some of the choices are things you don't like, you shut your little mind and start insulting!
And by the way, I could clothe myself in less than a yard of material, but most dresses, regardless of which size they are being made for, take at least 1-1/2 - 3 yards of material and some of them take significantly more than that just to clothe a preteen.
Sorry, I prefer my woman to wear that magical size 2 to 6, at around 5 ft 6 in… Readers Digest can’t be that far off base…
Then that would put you firmly in the category of men that women who are not that size and height shouldn't care about. Why does that bug you? You don't care about them and they don't want you. It should be a perfect fit, but here you are bitching about it.
When I was that woman, however, and I was a friggin' fashion model (who are mostly much taller and sometimes bigger all the way around than that) I still wouldn't have given you the time of day, as many women wouldn't, just because even if they suit your ideal they want to be chosen for whom they are and by someone compatible to them, not for what they look like. Well, outside of modeling contracts anyway.
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HopelesslyHopeful
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May 2 @ 11:46AM
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One last thing, as I am still annoyed by that one guy's comments on here:
Maybe you should re-read this blog if you think it is in anyway saying that men shouldn't be allowed to have preferences or decide for themselves what they find physically attractive.
This blog is about how women shouldn't have to risk their health and even go so far as to die just to please men who expect them to live up to standards that many women are simply not built to fit into.
Starving yourself is unhealthy. Hating yourself because of an imperfection of looks is unhealthy and since we are ALL imperfect, it's bloody ridiculous to do or expect someone you allegedly like or love to have to live with.
And if you are in a relationship with someone, regardless of what size they started out, they should have the right to expect you to continue it (if it's a serious relationship at least) if that size changes .. and yes, to augment positive steps to help them, if the reason it's changing is due to health of a mental or physical nature. But the simple fact of life is that a female who is 13 is bound to change sizes by the time she's 23 and again by the time she's 33 .. probably many times during those time periods .. and it is completely unhealthy for them to try to stay the same weight because as you age, you need more fat. No, not 200 lbs more fat, but more. If a 53 year old woman weighs 120 lbs she better be about 4'6" not 5'6" or she's likely to be unhealthy.
Last thing, honestly:
1) A a woman with good muscle is likely to weigh 20-50 lbs more than another woman of the same exact size. That's with the same basic bone size. If she has bigger bones, she may weigh 50 -100 lbs. more than that.
People always assume I am much much bigger than I am, on this site, because I say I am fat and because I say I weigh 220 lbs. But, the truth is that when they meet me, they think I've been lying to them the whole time because I look more like I weigh about 160 lbs. When I was a size 5, I weighed around 145 lbs which was the same weight as a girl I knew who wore a size 20. I've got huge bones and wonderful natural muscle mass. She didn't.
2) If you go into Target and find a size 2, then you go over to Nordstrom's and find a size 2, and then you go over to J.C. Penney's and find a size 2 - you are going to find three different sizes, more often than not.
There is a standardized sizing that gives women vague guidelines of what to look for in the stores, but those sizings are often altered by the industry; not to mention that many designers ignore them completely and have their own viewpoints of what measurments fit which sizes.
I've gone into stores and found, at the very same store, size 12, size 20, and size 4 x garments that fit me and one time I tried on a 6 x that was way too small but I got a size medium shirt that was very roomy.
All that size 2-6 at 5'6" therefore means precisely shite.. because a size 2 could go from a 16" waist to a 32" waist or so. So if you have a preference for a woman of a certain build and a certain personality, then you'd better look at the whole woman and decide what balance you can live with and enjoy .. checking her label ain't really going to tell you shite. Especially as the women who really care .. may just change the label because they know it'll fool a lot of the men who only care about such things.
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daisy8691
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May 2 @ 12:45PM
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an overweight woman can loose weight a skinny bitch will never change  
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Sugar_Lee
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May 2 @ 12:55PM
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Cyn, I have no idea where you got your information about runway models. Maybe some are like that but I doubt the majority of them are judging from my experiences with them. My daughter is 5'101/2 and weighted 107 to 114 when she modeled. She would eat a five course French meal and drink a bottle of wine. She walked her ass off literally while in Paris for ten years. She modeled to the ripe old age of 29, her last job being the National and International face for Clinique makeup, 1993 to 1995. She did some runway modeling in Paris, Japan, Australia, also did a great deal of cover and fashion spreads. In order to make it in the industry you must do everything. She never did underware modeling, but she did do commercials. She turns 39 this June and still looks 16, she wears a 6 jean now up from a 2 but she was always built like a gazelle, long thin legs, arms, and neck, not much boobs and a very photogenic face. She has no children. She only eats fish and veggies and works out at the gym, only eats red meat once a year, buffalo steak, for Christmas. My other daughter is a size 18 and has had two kids. Same mother, same father, and she is losing, hopefully back to a 12 but she looked great at a 12. She is beautiful now but she wants to say healthy so she is doing it for herself and her children, not a man. Considering her bust size when she wore a size 8 jean years ago, she was a 32, DDD, I do not have a clue the size today. She has no current health problems and because of my families heart problems I am encouraging her to lose the weight to a comfortable size, she is 5'9. I am only saying that we are not built the same and so no two bodies a certain height should weight the same. I don't give my weight, I give my height and should anyone need to know my pants and top size. Weight depends on muscle which weights more than fat and bone size. Let's all just get real, eating right and exercising will keep us looking younger. Frankly, I work hard and I don't want to date a guy that looks twice my age and has a huge beer belly. That is my choice, everyone does still have freedom of choice! 
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chatty
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Jun 29 @ 3:12PM
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Since early puberty, sitting in the bathroom perusing the lingerie ads in Readers Digest, I have assimilated a desire for women with tight little derrieres, modest firm breasts with nipples like Audi sparkplugs. A mate less than ponderous, one that can tastefully attire herself in less than one yard of material, one that is not gravitationally challenged….
But the ugly spectre of political incorrectness again raises it’s serpantine head, and I now must take what ever comes along, no 4 cylinder vs V-8, no small town vs metropolis, no Playboy vs Rembrandt….
Sorry, I prefer my woman to wear that magical size 2 to 6, at around 5 ft 6 in… Readers Digest can’t be that far off base.
I can't help but wonder if the models in readers digest had been a size 14 if you would still want that size 2 to 6?
I could care less what a man finds attractive, it is his choice and desire and his right.
I do hate it when a man thinks it is ok to be rude as can be when a BBW finds him attractive and lets him know it.
I also hate when people go out of their way to let a BBW or BBM know they find them to be unattractive before the person even shows an interest in them or treat big people rude in everyday life because they are big.
I just say to men I don't find attractive that I am sorry but you are not my type and that is it . I would never treat anyone rude for any reason because they are big.
I can love a big person for who they are inside and not find them attractive at all, not every person we meet is supposed to be viewed as a potential sexual partner.
The fashion world seeking models that are paper thin so they can save money when they make their creations started the big deal of not accepting yourself for who you are and striving to fit into a certian look , and that is the problem. We were not made from the same molds so lets top trying to put ourselves into them and stop trying to make someone into what we want them to be.
Great Blog RomanticLibra
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