whatever.
APRIL 27th, 2007
July Sorenson made an unexpected call to police april 27th, 2007, screaming that the toaster and other objects in the house were suddenly brought to life by an unexplained " boom".
" I'm just standing there making toast, and I hear this crack, and the toaster started speaking..."you are toast".... and flew at me"
" luckily I was able to grab a peice of my delicious crust, and ran to the bathroom as the couchs, vacuum cleaner, and lamps started doing a strange dance and heading towards me"
"as soon as I got into the bathroom I was immediatly toilet papered and given a non- consensual shower and good ol' brushin of my teeth, except it was with my $125 dollar anti-wrinkle cream"
" and I thought then about my sparky, my beloved pit bull, sleeping outside on the porch"
" I called him, sparky! sparky!"
" And with his vicious pit bull stamina, scratched down the screen door and started barking wildly at all the objects afloat."
" just then, everything, flew out the door to do it's havok on my small little town"
" I don't know what I'd do without my sparky, just think if all those 156 injured people that could've had a pit bull to save their selves."
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| When inanimate things attack |
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