AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

How to shower

posted 5/7/2007 12:26:11 AM |
2 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
tagged: jokes, shower, humor
  ConfederateAngel

I am pretty sure that most of you have seen this before, but it still makes me shake my head yes.. and there is sooo much truth in it,so I figured I would pass it along. Hope you guys have a great day.


How to Shower Like a Woman


1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced
with natural avocado oil.

Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body
wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs.

12. Turn off shower.

13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.




How To Shower Like a Man



1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.


2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of
your wiener and scratch your ass.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face.

6. Wash your armpits.

7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.

9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the
soap.

11. Shampoo your hair.

12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

13. Pee.

14. Rinse off and get out of shower.

15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.


Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by ConfederateAngel:
Friday giggle
Friday giggle
Weekend giggle
Friday Giggle
Monday giggle
Throwing away money
YOU CAN BE the MAN of YOUR HOUSE..LOL
U CAN't MAKE THIS SH*T UP!!!!!!
Sunday giggle
Remember....
My OPINION RANT..lol!!
Monday giggle
How to shower
Friendship pledge!!!
Monday giggle
Morning Laugh
TEXAS CHILLI-CONTEST


Comments:
The_Boy_Next_Door

May 7 @ 12:31AM  
I haven't laughed that had in a while, Wow Thanks
sherwithme

May 7 @ 12:38AM  
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
When were you in the bathroom with my ex husband?

Star201477

May 7 @ 12:41AM  
LOL. So true, and so so funny. I especially like #2. Gotten that a few times myself.. lol.
behonestaboutlove

May 7 @ 12:42AM  
that changes once you become a mommy then its run into the bathroom with
kid(s) trailing behind you, hurry and shut and lock the door take clothes off, throw on bathroom floor, you will put themin hamper later, by now the kid is at the door saying mommy over and over again and turning the knob,start shower jump in wet hair quickly wash and rinse it with a 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner,try and ignore the kid saying mommy over and over again and who is now banging on the door, throw whichever body wash happens to be in the shower onto the spong thingie quickly wash your body and rinse, turn water off jump out wrap hair in towel and another one on body, unlock and open door, dart to bedroom with kid trailing behing you quickly shut an lock that door being careful not to close it on the childs fingers, quicly get dresssed with child screaming mommmmmmmyyyyyyy and banging on the door.
READmyPROFILE

May 7 @ 12:45AM  
That's pretty funny...and accurate. I tend to do more posing in front of the mirror though and I don't have the wife to flash. But that's funny. Cheers!
azgirl701

May 7 @ 12:50AM  
THAT WAS GREAT I TAKE THAT UNDER ADVICEMENT
SinCerelyUrs78

May 7 @ 1:23AM  
Woo-Woo! LOL! That's AWESOME!
BigMonkeyKnuts

May 7 @ 1:26AM  
LMAO!!!
RainbowSharpie

May 7 @ 2:01AM  
I don't shower any where close to that and my boyfriend doesn't shower anywhere close to the men part. lol
Johnny1951

May 7 @ 4:47AM  
That is Greatttttttttttttttttttttt I laughed really hard........
whatagal

May 7 @ 6:55AM  
An oldie but a goodie!! Thanks g/f!
ConfederateAngel

May 7 @ 7:32AM  
LOL..I know that is true 'behonest..' Heck I have been known on more than one ocassion, grab the damn 'batman bodywash' and wash my hair with it, and use my daughter's 'barbie bubblebath' as body wash. Needless to say, I felt very..childlike when I got done. Not to mention my kids have figured out how to pick the lock on the bathroom door, so I don't get the 'mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy, open up!' I get the shower curtian ripped open and MOM can I have.....well you fill in the blank.
mystery2u888

May 7 @ 8:07AM  
My very sweet little gf..............I loved this one......omg......definitely......you said it fantastic........thanks for the laugh me chat at you later.....enjoy your day an thank you... xoxoxo
cancun1999

May 7 @ 8:13AM  
That was too funny... Thanks for sharing and making me laugh.
LoveAsian

May 7 @ 6:14PM  
When men and women shower together.

Rip clothes off (remember to pick up buttons later)

Jump in shower (eventually turn water on)

Discover that water is a poor lubricant

Discover that water shrinks things

Turn water off, throw woman on bed, shake winkie to wake up.

Have way with woman.

Note: if woman is a dominatrix, reverse roles.

Shower separately (as noted in first post) later.
ConfederateAngel

May 11 @ 2:31AM  
LMAO...I like your idea better LA
free adult dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2009 Online Singles, LLC.
WEB1
How to shower