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We’ve all seen them and read their blogs/comments. They prowl the forums, chatroom, and the blogs. Knights in shining armour, wielding precious-stoned keyboards, those wonderful men (and, on occasion, women) who woo us with words of love, care and understanding. Since this is my blog, I’m going to focus my attention on those that have hangie-down parts, the Used Car Salesmen and False Messiahs of the Internet.
What is narcissism? Narcissism is defined as a condition of self-infatuation stemming from difficulties at an early stage of psychological development.
They might display one or a number of these characteristics: 1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance. 2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love. 3. believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by other special people. 4. requires excessive admiration. 5. strong sense of entitlement. 6. takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends. 7. is often envious or believes others are envious of him or her. NPD Wikpedia
Where does this all tie into the Internet? Well, right here. If you’ve noticed, a lot of blogs of late have been about women being taken advantage of by men. Blogs have been penned on how women have been fooled and abused by men they met here and elsewhere on the Internet. The anonymity of the keyboard allows narcissism to flourish. Sociopaths see this as a virtual trough of opportunity; many users of Internet dating sites come with self-esteem issues, lack of self-worth due to failed relationships and other life-altering occurrences. The senses of these unfortunates are attacked by writings of love, selflessness, and care. Most of the time it’s unmistakable to the majority, but for some of us who are so desperately searching for that one true love, those words penned by the narcissist are welcomed with open arms. They appeal to our sense of romance, they appear to us as the bestest of the bestest, romantics of immense proportions. What we wouldn’t give to have someone like them….well, some of us find out. We become just another notch on the old CPU, taken advantage of and tossed out like yesterdays garbage. But it was never about us, it was about them…they sought and achieved control over us. Once conquered, the narcissist blows into the barrel of his Microsoft keyboard and moves on to another. It’s not always about sex, sometimes it’s just about attention.
We discover our naiveté. We want so desperately to believe, to feel loved, respected and cared for that we lose our common sense. I have, at times, just wanted to reach through my monitor and jap-slap the shit out of some of you, to point out those sociopaths that prey on you, but all that does is foster discontent, for when we’re in the throes of passion we lose our minds. It’s understandable. Most of us have gone for years without a serious relationship, one based on respect with our partners understanding us like no other, but these sociopaths do exist my friends. They lurk within this site, waiting, building a foundation with those of us who so desperately seek nirvana.
Eventually, they’re exposed for what they are, but not before hearts have been broken, sometimes destroying our self-worth through deception. It’s what Sci mentioned in one of her blogs; we live in a society that fosters the Drive-Thru Relationship syndrome. We want, need, and must have attention at all costs, regardless of those red flags, and we want it PRONTO!
I feel sorry for a lot of people on here, seeing them having to deal with what comes from contact with one of these predators, others I don’t. Some were given ample warning yet decided to damn the torpedos and off they charged, full speed ahead. The signs were there, obvious to most but not them. Many of these victims are young and inexperienced, so you have to at least pity them to some extent. Life is about lessons, it hurts like hell but that’s how you learn. Others are more mature, or try to appear as such, anyway. They latch onto these sociopaths like a remora buries its teeth into the backside of a sperm whale.
All kidding aside, folks, don’t be so naive here. Sure, it’s nice to see all these flowery speeches by some, but take a minute and contemplate the intent. You’re a target. A lot of these Knights of Muse seek one thing and one thing only: control. They care less about you than they do themselves. They don't have a Round Table, they have a Lazy Susan and you are just another condiment. They seek a perverted gratification by gaining admiration of others where admiration isn’t due. We expend more energy researching DVD players, air conditioning units, cars and food processors than we do love. You have to read between the lines, folks, not all that glitters is gold; or another cliché, if it appears to be too good to be true, it probably is.
To me, and this is just my opinion, these guys just scream chainsaws and 50 gallon oil drums, or cut-up babies in the freezer kind of thing. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for my NA meeting, Narcissistics Anonymous; I’m the keynote speaker.
© 2007 PMF
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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read more blogs!
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| Chain Saws, False Messiahs and Snake Oil Salesmen.... |
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blue130160
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May 19 @ 5:44PM
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I wish I had that incite. The knowledge to see between the lines.
Granted the Internet is a place were we can be anything we wont. I must applaud you for your honesty... 
Now I wish I had more psyc classes.
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Eyes_Wide_Shut
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May 19 @ 6:11PM
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....they have a Lazy Susan and you are just another condiment.
That, my friend, was awesome.
As for the rest... just your basically excellent, insightful, not-so-everyday kind o' stuff.
=)
peace
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katydid438
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May 19 @ 6:14PM
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Narcissism.....sometimes we use that word in a joking manner without even realizing the true implications. We can all have a weak moment in our lives where we throw caution to the wind just to be with someone. This sociopathic trait is deeply rooted. Escaping from their clutches is not an easy thing to do. In some cases the emotional pain they inflict on you can literally bring you to your knees.
We can warn or be warned many times about this kind of person, but in the end some of us have to learn our lessons the hard way.
You've explained this scenario very well. This is very serious and important information that all should heed on-line or off.
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misschoos
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May 19 @ 6:16PM
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I think it would be wrong of me to copy and paste the whole blog into a quote 
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Westcork
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May 19 @ 6:55PM
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I usually dont read super long blogs...to Narcistic for me..but PMF...Holy Shit! to true...to funny but sad and true. I loved it. Mostly because I as others have said am "just another condiment on their lazy susan" Been there, felt that. Glad to see you again Kudos!
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isis_224
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May 19 @ 6:57PM
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That was one of the mot profound things I have read in a long time, was a pleasure and thank you
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luvshorses644
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May 19 @ 8:47PM
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Yannnooooo sometimes, jest sometimes, you are more than a purdy face and a flotsam of funnies... sometimes you expound such frikken wisdom and jap slapping that it makes my head spin.. who woulda thunk that someone with the nic of PMF would be this frikken awesomely smart!!! ME.. THAT'S WHO.
I know what you say about the seeking of someone to give us the type of relationship is true. It happened once to me.. which is why the motto of once burned.. there will be no second time. Wordsmithers are many and guess what.. yep, they use those words just as you said ... like swords against the dragons that threaten the dear woman. They play on our weaknesses and find the wounds which are stil fresh and pick at the scabs.. they plant their larvae in those open wounds giving nourishment to all the undying words of love and honesty to the end of time.
You have given great intellect to those that might be swayed.. some will take your words to heed and look at this suave lothario with eyes that see objectively and not from the shoes they walk in... others, others, are so much starved for attention and love that even with these words of wisdom they will choose to dive into the shallow end of the lake never realizing that once they get mired down, there is little chance of escape without hurt.
Thank you oh wise one.. and you too PMF, ya big galoot for this blog.. Let's hope it opens eyes and hearts as well. I tossed my pennies on the floor of hope...
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kattsmeow
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May 19 @ 8:57PM
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Now I know what that word means. Thank you!
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sciurusniger
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May 19 @ 9:03PM
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Great blog, honey.
Now would you mind letting me use the mirror to finish doing my hair?
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RhodeRhunner
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May 19 @ 9:30PM
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Abso-freakin'-lutely wonderful wisdom, PMF. Calling it a blog would be quite an understatement. Thank you!
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3BearMom
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May 19 @ 9:40PM
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PMF - I am wise to the Narcissistic personality - having endured it for 32 + years. Even after the divorce he tried to keep me captive by promising to be there for me, but the first time I stood up and spoke up for myself and say no to him it was a totally different story.
First time the B word had come out of his mouth in reference to me. It was like being jap slapped by the one person in the world you would have sworn never would have hurt you. But once I stopped being his empowered I was worthless to him.
So I am very cautious here, I have learned the art of reading between the lines and I guess that is why after a year I still have not found anyone to be with. No one that can even pass the first few emails, it is so sad too, because there is a heart here that is dying to love the right man, but it will take that right man to break through this shell that I have had to be put up to protect it from the Narcissists of the world.
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crickettspirit
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May 19 @ 11:04PM
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Talk about opening the doors, you just flung 'em open and exposed those rats for what they are ! It's a thin veil...they guard it exclusively ! We've all met those types, they're useless, they never change...and they never will. They are the demons of the heart.
That was better commentary than if it came from 60 minutes...kudos.......cha ching, hope the folks read it well ! ....and always beware !
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Skydognc
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May 20 @ 1:13AM
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as painful as it is for me to say.......
that was truly awesome !
well done PMF!
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Tunes4u
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May 20 @ 2:31AM
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Let me guess...
no...nevermind.....
Excellent post, Ed..
Oopps! I mean PMF
Damn it.....
Yeah...really excellent....
Tunes
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sherwithme
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May 20 @ 2:39AM
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Quite a few years ago now, I was that desperate, lonely person who had the misfortune or fortune of being the victim, nah the learner of the Narcistic empty dream giver.
They appeal to our sense of romance, they appear to us as the bestest of the bestest, romantics of immense proportions. He did just that and I was so naive in my desperate search for true love. Fortunately I went unharmed for the most part except my ego.
Life is about lessons, it hurts like hell but that’s how you learn. Grateful that I do learn from my experiences and dont get stuck in them.
Thank you for this incredible blog tonight, I truely hope others learn from reading and dont have to experience!
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hikingdoglover
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May 20 @ 4:40AM
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Everybody has quoted all my favorite bits of this.
Misschoos wanted to quote the whole thing...lol...
No it wouldn't be wrong of her to quote the whole thing,
but it would be wrong of me to use her idea.
Well..you get the point...
I loved it.
You nailed this type of personality right on the money.
I suspect this was a co-written blog..a little of both of your inputs? 
I could be wrong...the picture always fools me when I don't take the time
to read the name under it...lol...but there seems to be 3 parts PMF to 1 part Sci
in this blog..am I right??? OK maybe 2 parts PMF...2 parts Sci...
I would like to think I can really recognize your seperate but equally
fantastic writing skills... 
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RVerwolf
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May 20 @ 4:41AM
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I am astounded by the moments of real intelligence that I find, every once in a while, since discovering this place called MD. The laughter, and the sorrows have all "touched" in one way or another..yet, this particular blog, shall long be regarded by this humble ol' boy as an especially "high moment" of discovery.
Your writing skills are "jaw dropper" phenominal ...kudos..
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painter007
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May 20 @ 5:33AM
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Thank you for sharing such insight.......I really cant understand why some people are so mean.......It boggles my brain....I can only hope that one day those men/women who tell us such lies,will find someone they truely care about and they will receive a dose of their own behavior.
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jentoblues101
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May 20 @ 8:23AM
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I read this blog yesterday and was so taken aback by your uncharacteristic lack of humorous vitriol that I found myself wordless. Revisiting it this morning I found I was able to read the real message, and my words came back. Here are a few thoughts:
1) When you use terms like "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" (NPD) and "sociopath" you are talking my language, and I feel compelled to address said language. First came the term psychopath, then sociopath, and now the "correct" term is "Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD). "Antisocial" in this instance does not mean not wanting to be social, it means going against social rules, morals, and mores. The diagnostic criteria for APD is as follows:
A) There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:
1. failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
2. deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
3. impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
4. irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults
5. reckless disregard for safety of self or others
6. consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations
7. lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another
B) The individual is at least age 18 years.
C) There is evidence of Conduct Disorder with onset before age 15 years.
D) The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of Schizophrenia or a Manic Episode. (DSM-IV, p. 706)
An APD can be a narcissist, but not all narcissists are sociopaths, as defined by the DSM. The real difference is that APDs have a persistent pattern of violence, aggression, and law breaking.
2) Regardless of this, you wrote a rockin' blog.
3) PJ's benevolent and caring outlook on the world is beginning to rub off on you; you'd better watch out; your soft, squishy insides are beginning to show!
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Mission_Impossible139
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May 20 @ 10:21AM
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I think that you also have to remember, at times, there is a fine line between truth and fiction.
It's good to be streetwise and internet saavy but don't fall into that chasm and be lost in total cynicism, mistrust, doubt and suspicion.
If you want to allow yourself to feel that rush of young love and the high of connection, you have to be vulnerable. If not, you end up like a piece of stone in the garden.
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1beekeeper
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May 20 @ 10:24AM
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(and, on occasion, women) [QUOTE]
I had the misfortune of meeting one of those on MD. 
I now treat MD as a political forum. Let's be serious about relationships on the internet?  NOT
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redtigr
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May 20 @ 3:17PM
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This blog is so good - that I wish I had written it....
...but that's just my narcissistic self talkin'...
Seriously - a great effort!!
... and I too, smell Sci's editing...
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wandaful123
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May 20 @ 8:07PM
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Extremely well said! Now ladies listen, take whats been offered, don't open your heart without keeping your eyes open as well! Somewhere along the road we've all heard the expression... "if it seems to good to be true... it probably is" Remind yourself of this often...
There's been an odor in blogland, the trail is fairly easy to follow.
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trulylovinglife365
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Jul 12 @ 7:13PM
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haha,u post a narcissistic blog about how being narcissist is bad.
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