Finally got the camera to stop acting like a ginch and release the pictures from last summer, including this one I have attached.
Me, "pretending" to be Janis JoplinThings pop into my head every time I look at it ...
get your motor running ...
I'm gonna hit the highway like a battering ram on a silver black phantom bike, well the metal is hot and the engine is hungry and we're all about to see the light ...
didn I make you fee-eel like you were the only ma-an, didn I give you everything a woman possibly can?? ..
hey when Eddie said he didn't like his teddy ...
From the day she was born, all he wanted was rock n roll, porn, and a motorbike .. gosh , and there was some Englishman that hated that song . we'd get to the next line ..
showing up drunk, he was a low down cheap little punk, taking everyone for a ride .. and he'd switch it off and glower at me. lol lol but I didn't care, I had shown up drunk and was far too relaxed to respond. *grin*
and .. it makes me think of chrome ..
by Crom lol and how pissed off Adam was, for reasons I still don't pretend to understand, over the idea of a silver ring at all much less a chrome/chrome plated one. I don't know what's up with that!!!
I'm pretty sure there is nothing wrong with silver wedding rings and fairly certain there is nothing wrong with chrome ones .. don't know if Emily Post covered that, though. Do you?
Stuart likes chrome .. just one more thing that is painfully annoying about the man. *sigh* uhm .. I don't mean that in a bad way, honestly. Just .. there's a lot of things that remind me of him, I really don't need more. err. .. this is not coming out right at all!!
I have nothing against him, he's done nothing wrong. . he's a lovely lovely wonderful lovely person from what I know about him so please do not start worrying, okay?
It's just a bit strange, the whole situation .. including that .. well, okay, two things. One is that I have a very hard time discerning between want and need, in regards to some things. So telling him what I need is . it's not my place to say what I need, then, is it?
It's my place to say what I am and why I am not something else . .and his place to say if I need to change and why and how and what will be done about it. So it's hard to sort out how to tell him what he needs to know, enough of it, without overstepping .. and I hate asking people for thngs, you know that. And yes, I know .. I can be quite horribly good and hardheaded about it but I still don't like it!!! and .. well. .. the other thing is .. oh dear ..
It's like this .. right now, where we stand, he says he doesn't know what he'll do, he told me before that the ownership stuff would be discussed after the other issues were resolved right? Only, once the other issues are resolved, I won't need to belong to him for those sort of reasons and then .. It makes it harder, all the way around. It's hard to put your trust in someone who will not be around later, as a certainty. It makes it harder to know what to tell him .. and it grates on my nerves which, in fact, is very unhelpful lol If I sort this all out, figure out what I actually do need help with, he actually does help - which apparenty he already did- but you know .. that's not the sort of thing that would exactly make me think less of him, where less things would remind me of him.. . and I don't want to live without him.
Gosh that sounds dramatic!
I don't mean that in a suicidal sort of way, thank you .. so what do I mean .. uhm .. It wouldn't really feel quite like living if it was without him. and gosh, man .. I found out I do, indeed, get jealous .. only I don't know if you'd really call it jealousy I think jealousy is more about selfishness .. pride .. look at me look at me .. I should be the one getting all the attention .. maybe though there is more than one kind of jealousy as there is more than one kind of love After all the Bible speaks of jealousy as a bad thing but then it says Jehovah is a jealous God. Anyway ..... it's not like the sort of jealousy where it's all about being the bestest, prettiest, getting more attention than the rest, etc. . it's .. survival. I need him.
which I stupidly told him the other night .. which teaches me to be tired and typing at the same time! *sigh* Or to tell the truth .. I was thinking about it and .. yes, apparently that's what I always do that really and truly f***s things up. I shall be alone and unloved, always, because quite often I tell the truth to men and apparently they take that sort of behavior badly... whatever they take it like, it's seldom taken like it's just the truth It's taken like a scam, sometimes like a virus to be avoided .. and sometimes like a giant bloody lugy spit onto your cheesecake .. not only best avoided, but hell, let's go ahead and tell the waitress off and abandon the restaurant altogether .. .