Dig the picture, babsy! (December 29th, 2005) Part 2

I told him the truth and it went badly, you know, and then this whole thing with Jade happened ... and I ended up telling him a great deal of things that were the truth, very strange truth .. .most of which he hasn't said boo about so I don't know what that means .. but whatever is the case. . I should have known better. I should have not told him how I felt, what her problem was, that I was having any issues with her myself, nothing .. in fact, I shouldn't have told him why I was supposed to be going to Scotland, back then either and kept most everything else to myself too.

Only really, what is the point? If you can't talk to people and they won't know you, you won't know them .. you may as well be alone anyway ..right? I know .. I'm too blatant. *sigh* You know how I am .. bring it on, I prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around lol

That's funny as Mark was just yammering me up one side and down the other in regards to Star Wars.

Is it really too much to ask that you get to tell someone the truth and expect them to consider it, or acknowledge that they heard it and openly reject it .. or something?

Rocky is driving me insane too. He keeps telling me he's jealous and he wants me all to himself . .but what he really means is that he wants me to like him like I used to, do myself and other people a lot and send him pictures, cyber with him, etc. He says he needs it to be me.. that I'm very pretty and desirable and sexy and intelligent and .. oh .. other shite

I really can't see why that would be so. I mean .. why it would need to be me.. why that would be so important .. and even more so I can't see why he wants me to want it to be him. .considering all he wants is sex anyway. So .. he's very jealous of Stuart, told me he was jealous of you men way back when ... which is sort of funny as Stuart .. defnitely does not get turned on by me. At least, I think that's true. And , uhm .. well, I can't say that is totally true about you but close enough ...

rambling must end .. me tired, shall lay down now. A monkey kept me up, chattering all night. .. so I shall go to bed and lay there and cuddle up to a giant pillow and try very very hard not to think of Stuart being there, with my head on his tummy and my arm around his middle .. or cuddled up against my back, his arm over mine .. *sigh* ... and fail completely ..