As I was just saying to a friend of mine ...
I still love Stuart but .. I think it is kind of like quitting drinking or smoking or what have you ... there is the memory of good times and the habit of reaching out and doing the same things that used to get results that made you feel the way you wanted to feel .. combatting with the knowledge that doing it no longer makes you feel that way at all and ends up making you feel worse than when you started.
I think.
Which sets 'Kiss of Fire' going off in my head : Since first I kissed you, my heart was yours completely .. if I'm a slave then it's a slave I want to be .. don't pity me ...
*sigh*
Im not sure how to do this again .. I've never been right when it comes to love, potential for love .. I was so sure that this time I was right It was so different so strong but not all just physical chemistry or anything .. you know?
I don't know what to do now.
Comments:
Mike Gio: Can't remember at the moment.... Who wrote that song..??
Love Stinks! I cry at the love scene in most movies... It hurts.... It sucks... It Stings... My heart drops. I remember the feeling of it.. In the begining.. Like an addiction.. Never like the first time but we try to get there again....
I give two kudos!
Me: J.Geils .. and thank you for the kudos Can't say it was the first time I ever thought I was in love with anyone .. just that they were all fire cracker sort of flare ups and this one was more like a fairly large bonfire .. that someone had just dropped the atom bomb on lol lol *sigh*
It's the whole issue of trying again that I don't get .. how anyone could or why anyone would. I suppose it gets better over time .. only I know for some people it never gets that much better. You know? There is no replacement parts.
Okay, I'm too tired to be philisophical on this shite. lol Thank you for the comment
(in regards to a lost comment) oh, I do! I don't think it has to do with special days of the year or specific presents or whatever .. but I do totally believe in romance, real romance, the way it should be .. I just don't believe it'll ever happen to me
Jack (who as it turns out is probably one of the hackers): Arletta deal with facts: you're in love and you'll be in love with him tomorrow or 20 years down the line. If he dies, rapes your mother, begins the systematic genocide of an entire race of people, or simply starts greeting you with a hearty "hey cunt!" it ain't going to change that you love him - only the quality and depth of that. It's who and what you are and why I love you best among women.
Me: You suck Jack!
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| *sigh* (April 10th, 2006) |
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