Hello MD friends,
I just wanted you to know that I'm still here and I'm still checking in once in a while.
I have been busy with the kids and Jason's Memorial scholarship, that we presented this past Thursday, June 7th, at 8th grade graduation. It is named the Jason Anthony Teynor III Memorial Success Award. I was VERY nervous standing up in front of over 300 people talking about my son Jason, but something or someone gave me the courage to do it. It also helped that my oldest daughter came home from Nashville TN to be here with us for it too. I had ALL 5 of my children with me on stage that night,my 4 children here on earth standing behind me on stage while I was telling everyone about Jason, and his award. I had Jason looking down on us from Heaven too.
Before we went to the school that night, Lee, my oldest daughters fiance, got on his knee at the cemetary and gave Cianna the ring. He wanted to include Jason in it too. Everyone cried!!
I've also been busy with my grandson. He is the light of my life right now. He's 9 mths old today. We just had cake and ice cream for him.
My youngest daughter, Carah had emergency appendix surgery Wed night @ 8 pm. She was s'pose to stay in the hospital for 2-3 days, but the doc told her Thursday morning if she could go without taking the morphine drip, she could be out that afternoon to make it to Jason's memorial. She's a little trooper!! She made it through the day with just ibuprofen and then @ 4 pm we got her perscription for Tylenol 3's. She took one of those to see how she'd do with them, and then took another before we went to the cemetary. She's doing better today. She went to one of her friends graduation parties
I've been spending more time with my ex boyfriend, Joey too. I gave this man my heart 4 years ago, and he never gave it back. He'll have it for eternity. He was here last night, and in front of my kids and my sister, he said...(quote)..."I'll be in love with you forever, you will always be a part of my life." Even though we've been broken up for 3 yrs, God keeps bringing him back to me and when we're together, we're..HAPPY!! Absolutely estatic with each other!! My kids don't seem to understand how I can be happy with the arrangement him and I have come up with, but they wouldn't understand yet, they're too young to understand "falling in love".
Joey found out on Mother's day night that he's going to be a grampa for the 1st time. He has a son named Jason also.
I want to spend this summer with my kids, grandson, Joey (as much as we can spend together) and my adopted kids at the beach. I want to have "fun" this summer. I don't want to be a prisoner in my own home like I was last summer. I know Jason would want me to get out of the house, and yesterday that's what we did. I even have a slight sunburn to prove it...LOL
So, in a nutshell, I'm doing ok. I miss Jason every morning that I wake up. I have to take a deep breath when I awaken and think..."this is my life, without Jason", but I know I have to go on. It's hurting like hell too!! The kids, Jadyn, and Joey and Joey's niece, Amy and her little girl, are doing a wonderfuld job at "holding me together".
The doc put me on some different meds for the anxiety attacks a couple weeks ago. I was having approx 20-30 a day. The meds I'm on now seem to be working, along with the "extra activities" I'm doing daily.
I hope everyone has a wonderful summer. My kids were out as of this past Friday from school. I can't wait for the summer to get underway, and see what becomes of "my summer".
Love to you all,
Jini
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| Just to let you all know I'm still here.... |
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