The Wolf’s Straight Bark on Internet Dating posted 6/14/2007 6:00:08 PM | 9 kudos what's this?     report abuse tagged: dating, romance

Wolf36

While browsing about in blogland the last few days, one of my best online buddies and I have noticed a trend. Many of you seem to be very down or negative in regards to your success with meeting that special someone. After 4 long years of making almost every possible mistake you can, I feel like I’m in a position to offer some helpful suggestions to some of you. Hey, if you're like me, sometimes a different person's prospective can be very helpful.

Of course this is written entirely from a male’s point of view. However, I believe that both sexes can benefit from some of my ideas if you keep an open mind and think about what I’m writing. Keep in mind I’m now 40 and still single so I can’t profess to have all the answers but like I said earlier, “ I do have 4 years of experience in this circus we call online dating and I’ve had the joy and privilege or meeting several fine females from this site and others.

In order to build your foundation for success here, you must first be honest with yourself. What are you really looking for? Are you wanting a pen-pal, friend, bed partner, or a spouse. Think very hard about this, because this is where you begin. Next what are you looking for in your other half? Are looks what you are going to base your searches on, perhaps age or some other criteria may take precedent.You'll never find what you're looking for, if you are searching blindly without purpose.

Now this is the part many of us guys have difficulty with; being realistic. For god sakes before writing a person, look at their profile and study it. Pay attention to what they are looking for and what are they not looking for. Yes fellow men, if you are 50 years old and out of condition, you’re probably not going to appeal to a 20 year old model who’s looking for a hot stud.

Remember these people don’t know you so make your 1st e-mail an introduction and not a proposition. Also, never use an opening e-mail that you wouldn’t feel comfortable using in real life. In other words, I wouldn’t go up to a girl I didn’t know and say, “you have beautiful eyes and a killer ass.” Look at their profile and find something interesting that you feel can strike up a conversation. Make sure in your opening e-mail that you tell them a little about yourself and please don’t try to make yourself out to be Tom Cruise, (this leads into the next item.:)

You must be honest with the person you are writing. Notice this is the second time I’ve said something about being honest. If you are 5’-5” and you tell your prospective partner that you are 6’-1” do you think she’s not going to notice? Ladies if you post a picture of yourself when you were on the high school cheerleading squad and you’re now 35, don’t you think that might be a tad misleading? What I’m trying to say is, “this makes a cruel joke out of your entire relationship.” Trust and honesty is the foundation of any relationship and you know what happens to any structure without a foundation.

Don’t be in a hurry to meet your other half. Let them have the time they need to become comfortable with you. Remember, many of these folks may be new to online dating and may have heard horror stories about the Internet. Also, don’t be in a hurry to get a phone number or e-mail address. Let things develop slowly and take there course. Just because your friend doesn’t want to give you personal information doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t like you. It means they haven’t reached the same level of comfort in the relationship, that you have.

When you finally do decide to meet your other half, be confident but also be prepared for let downs. This is very important; while you are writing and phoning your friend, your mind tends to build an imaginary creation that has no faults and is perfect in every aspect. Sometimes when couples meet, reality sets in and you realize the person you have been writing, isn’t exactly what you had pictured. What I’m trying to say is, “keep your expectations realistic and remember this is your friend that you are meeting.” If you are disappointed and they’ve been honest
with you, try not to say anything that will hurt their feelings.

Another important thought, if you are rejected at the final stage of the online meeting, don’t let it ruin a good friendship. Remember, this person meant a lot to you and even if he or she isn’t the perfect fit as a romantic partner, they may make the perfect friend.

On a closing note, try not to be negative if someone doesn’t return your e-mail. Also, quit wasting your time pissing and moaning about the scammers. They’re here and they’re here to stay, that’s what the delete and block button is for. Just make sure you always remember when you’re corresponding with someone, that there is a real person on the other end and they have feelings just like you.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope you all have good luck!
Wolf

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Blogs by Wolf36: Time to Pee on the Fire My "Born on Date" Has Expired My New Life as a Canine is Ruffff My First Dirty Diaper Change:-) Women and Football My Conspiracy Theory:) Image and First Impressions The Mouse From Hell Old School Memories and Emotions Little Terrorist at the China Buffet Out of Toilet Paper & Wolf's Luck Guys: Please Think Before You Write The Wolf’s Straight Bark on Internet Dating Hole "E" Underwear and Lessons Learned The Day I Stopped Being Cool