Damn. A while back I wrote a blog about death and dying. It seemed to me that it wasn't going to be very long until Dan's Grandma passed away. She actually has held out... until now. Now we know it's the real deal. We can hear the 'death rattle' (if you're in nursing or you've ever watched anyone die, you know what this is) in here chest. She has no urine output and is in complete and total renal failure. Only on occasion she will open her eyes long enough to smile at my three year old daughter. I try to take her over there as much as I can, but the strain is wearing thin on my poor little baby while she is having to watch her great grandmother succumb to death. Something I thought I would never say: I can't wait until this is all over. For everyone.
My husband has been so morose lately. The normally jolly, joking, happy-go-lucky guy I know and love is hiding. And I know that is to be expected. The only joy he draws from his days are the sight of his daughter and the darkness of his bedroom. It's not even eight thirty here and he's already in bed asleep. This kind of emotionality takes a toll on him.
We went over to Granny's tonight to find her five grown children fighting, including Dan's Mother. There is so much stress and tension in that house now that I hate to walk in it. I know they are suffering a difficult time, but don't they know that their poor Mother, who is lying in there dying, is NOT DEAF and can hear every word they spit at each other. This is NO TIME to fight. Over anything. It's a time to draw together and support each other. One of Granny's kids refuses to go and make funeral arrangements with the rest of the family. The other says he doesn't know if he is going to or not. He is contemplating suicide. He's supposed to be a man of God. My mother commited suicide. I think anyone that ever considers that as a way out is DAMN selfish.
Granny's youngest daughter has been living with her and paying all of her own bills out of Granny's checking account.. It strikes me as odd, and maybe some see it differently, but that to me is stealing from your own poor and dying mother. Another one of her kids, her youngest son, never has time for anyone or anything except the things he wants or needs to do. It makes no sense to me for any of them not to be right there at that house, holding a vigil and waiting for the last moments of their mother to pass. I'd be there myself if I didn't have a three year old to take care of.
And my husband's mother, she is under the stress of being POA and needs her head examined. She has yelled at anyone and everyone who walks through the door and the poor great-grandkids (Mine and Dan's Sister's kids) are walking on eggshells around her. They are afraid to even play a game near her. Her poor husband, my father in law, is feeling the strain of her stress as well. Just today they yelled at my thirty nine year old husband for speaking too loudly when he was teaching his nephew how to spell a word. He's a grown man and he should be able to speak as loudly as he wants to, but he's from the generation that when your parents get upset with you, even when you are sixty, it upsets you.
So,yeah. They've all got their own brand of crazy. They've all put on their airs to show me that they are superior to my simple, farm-dwelling, country living family (the ones I have left, like my sister and my disabled father, a few cousins and an aunt) in Eastern KY.. but the truth is they are just as wacko as my Ginseng Digging' Uncle, Scott. I just think it's a sad thing on their part that they can't come together in this time of crisis. They will need each other to heal. My Sister and I, we know that from experience. If you've read my previous blogs, you know we went through hell. And after all that and even being seperated, we still manage to have a good relationship. They need to suck up and buck up and gather 'round their Mother's bed, hold her hand and kiss her forehead, and send her off happily into the Promised Land.
As always,
Just My Humble Opinion,
Regards,
Kris
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