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9 WORDS MEN USE

posted 7/14/2007 3:00:37 PM |
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  shamrocksweetrose

This is the flip side of the post earlier of 9 WORDS WOMEN USE


1. Fine: Depends heavily on the context. A 'fine' after asking, say, "How was work?", means "It was f***ed, I'm not interested in talking about it". Fine at the end of an argument, however, has the same connotations as when a woman would use it, but it is USUALLY SHOUTED LIKE THIS because us men have trouble using an inside voice when we're angry.

2. Five minutes: What is he doing? Videogames? Five minutes is about half an hour then, or until he finds the ever elusive 'next save point'. Getting ready for sex? Five minutes is two minutes. Preparing to leave? Five minutes means five minutes, and if you're not in the car in exactly five minutes you will find yourself under a veritable barrage of honking until you rectify the fact.

3. Nothing: Is largely a synonym for 'fine', though more resolute. A 'fine' can be challenged, a 'nothing' is completely off limits, and rather than signaling that an argument is forth coming, it should tell any man-savvy woman that whatever is wrong is not up for discussion with her, her mother, or anyone she is related to. Full stop. Period.

4.Go ahead: "I'm not interested in arguing with you anymore, do whatever the hell you want. See if I care!" Often accompanied by a #1.

5.Loud sigh: Sometimes with a curse, like 'J***s Ch***t' or 'F**king hell', this is a sign of frustration, and means, basically, "I so don't understand the issue here, what is she still pissed about? My conclusive rebuttals weren't enough for her?"

6.That's okay: This is a sign of disappointment. If a dude tells you 'that's okay' after you've just admitted something, it means his respect for you has taken a free fall and he's not sure what to say that won't insult you, despite his current feelings. If a guy is saying 'that's okay' a lot, you should examine your patterns and find out why.

7.Thanks: This depends largely on the context and intonation. Like eels and shotguns, 'thanks' is a slippery beast and by no means can be explained in one dot point. So I won't.

8. Whatever: "I'm over it. I'm not interested in arguing. I still think I'm right, but you know what? You don't, and I'm beyond caring. F**k you." That's what 'whatever' means.

9.Don't worry about it, I got it: This isn't often used by men, but when uttered it holds the same connotations as "Stop asking if I need help, I am a MAN, I am more than capable of handling this shit myself". Women often challenge this, which can result in a #4 #5 combo, or, worse, a #1 followed up by an #8.

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Comments:
cudahudson

Jul 14 @ 3:10PM  
And if you want to avoid all of this from a man just stand in front of him butt nekkid and he will bow to your every wish. You will never hear a word from him.
shamrocksweetrose

Jul 14 @ 3:15PM  
he wouldn't be saying a word if I was butt naked in front of him cuz he'd be running in the other direction LMAO.
cudahudson

Jul 14 @ 3:22PM  
Shamrock..You are such a lie, you should be ashamed now go to your room, I'll be there soon to decide your punishment
cudahudson

Jul 14 @ 3:28PM  
I'll be there about 10pm, don't have anything on but the stereo and have it on low
Johnny1951

Jul 14 @ 3:34PM  
I use What? a lot.............

Translation------>I have my ears turned to the off position.....That is one of the best kept secrets of men.........What?...............
shamrocksweetrose

Jul 14 @ 3:43PM  
Uh hmmmmm meaning....Can't you see I'm watching TV here, and you want me to listen to you now??? so I'll just respond Uh hmmmmm and make you think I'm listening
enigmasrook

Jul 14 @ 3:44PM  
The complete opposite of what a women means but in the same ballpark....devoid of emotion or subliminal intent. Too funny.
shamrocksweetrose

Jul 14 @ 3:45PM  
my ex used to use the Uh hmmmm alot with me and then wouldn't remember a thing I told him lol
enigmasrook

Jul 14 @ 3:45PM  
"Let Me Help You With That"....usually uttered as you are placing the last grocery bag on the counter...and have completed the task.
shamrocksweetrose

Jul 14 @ 3:46PM  
*Chants* Shammy's gonna get lucky....Shammys gonna get lucky...
ChipP

Jul 14 @ 3:49PM  
You forgot, "In a minute", "Don't worry I know what I'm doing", and the ever popular "Can't you see I'm in the middle of something"?
enigmasrook

Jul 14 @ 3:53PM  
"Instructions?? Who needs instructions?"
enigmasrook

Jul 14 @ 3:53PM  
"Where's the duct tape."
shamrocksweetrose

Jul 14 @ 3:55PM  
enigmasrook

Jul 14 @ 3:59PM  
"I'm driving." Defined as: women do not know how to drive and I will not be in a vehicle with you when you are. I have four older brothers....and one of them, will grab my keys, to my own car, so he can drive. Four accidents and numerous tickets to his name....lol....to my ZERO.....but I love him for his old fashioned ways. My other brother holds on to the garment hook with the look of terror in his eyes..... ......a few accidents and tickets to his name too.........gotta love it.
kallie_ko

Jul 14 @ 4:01PM  
LOL... "We're NOT lost...I know where I'm going".... ... pull over already so I can go in and ask directions... lol good post!
needa

Jul 14 @ 4:01PM  
when he says "I got it covered", it's usually about 2 hours until it's time to call the plumber....


enigmasrook

Jul 14 @ 4:05PM  
"Was it good for you?" (I know my words are now phrases )....usually stated half way between a snore and a dream. Whew, luckily I don't have THAT problem.... ....
ieguana

Jul 14 @ 4:27PM  
yall are to funny good post
shamrocksweetrose

Jul 14 @ 4:36PM  
Ya'll are too much
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