Yesterday my husband took B. to a local McDonald's Playland and let her run all her energy out on the indoor playground they provide. She really doesn't eat very much of their food so I'm good with it. Mostly she'll eat nuggets and on the rare occasion, Ice Cream. I had an appointment with some carpet cleaners so I stayed behind until they came and made my carpets magically appear the same color they were when we moved in.   When they were done I took off up there to meet them and settled in for a while to watch her play until it was time to go to Wal-Mart and get a few things for the house. I figured we'd let her play until she was plumb tuckered out because the carpets needed a chance to dry for a bit anyway.
So here she was having a fabulous time playing and bouncing and sliding and running around for all she's worth. She's having a grand old time with a bunch of other kids and they're having a grand old time with her. Other than getting to go to daycare on the rare occasion, this is the only chance she has to interact with other kids her own age. All of her cousins are much older, and while they love her, they are often not patient enough to play toddler games. Enter two little adorable-looking kids, who look Indian in ethnicity. (As in, from India). They have a well-groomed, attractive, middle-aged mother, whom, I am assuming, must have adopted them. How sweet, I think. I then think about how I'd love to be able to do something like that someday, ya know.. someday...
And as I am day dreaming about said dream, the little girl, who looks to be about (almost) two, starts yelling and screaming at two of the little boys B. has been playing with. She's so loud and is pointing her finger so violently at these kids they begin to cower from her - and these boys are twice her size!
Her older brother, looking to be about three or four, has glasses on (expensive, aren't they?) and he keeps taking them off and throwing them UP the slide, watching them come crashing down to the floor beneath his feet - and all the other little kid's feet who decides to trample them! It only takes me this very moment to realize that this woman has NO CONTROL over this kids - nor does she want to. She's deeply engrossed in a book and paying them NO attention whatsoever. 
Well, this goes on for ages, these two little kids bullying and pointing and running over all the other little kids in the playland. The little boy manages to steal part of B's flywheel happy meal toy and scurry up the slide with it. I ask her what happened to her toy, even though I knew the answer, and she pointed to that boy. Just then he threw it down the slide, much in the same manner he was throwing his glasses up the slide. So I took B's toy and told her to leave it with me while she was playing, or she'd lose it. She was content with that and went off on her way once again. She climbed up the ladder and was coming down the slide only to meet this badly behaved duo trying to climb UP it. Then, and just then, the little girl puts her finger in my daughter's face. And I freeze. Dan freezes. I know I can't go waltzing over to correct someone else's kid. But every instinct in me wants to get up and tell this little brat to BE NICE. After all, I wouldn't let my little girl do that to another child, EVER. She's pointing in Becca's face and screaming at her to go back up the slide, get out of her way, this, that, and the other. In other words, she's trying to bully my little B. Heh.
For those of you who don't know much about B. - she is a very mild mannered child. She will never scream or yell at another child (just at me, hehe j/k) and she would NEVER be rude or point at anyone out in public. She's just an easygoing girl who likes to play. And if she doesn't like you, she'll leave you alone. But, if you are rude to her, or you yell at her, or you try to bully her or make her cower, she will PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE in a skinny minute. So we froze, waiting, watching to see what would happen in this face off.
First, B. looks at the little girl like she has lost her damn mind.  Then, as the little girl leans in closer, B leans in to her as if to say "I am NOT afraid of you, girl!" The little girl yells at B to MOVE and B simply states "No". As in, I was here first, go find another slide, better yet, go fly a kite. Then B crosses her arms and holds her seat while this little girl is crazily yelling and screaming and pointing her finger and her brother ABOUT to push B. I lean up to see what will happen and B looks over at me. I hold up her drink and motion to her to come over and get some. B gets up and practically nudges these two out of the way, like, Oh yeah, I am leaving, but on MY TERMS, skippy! She comes over and looks at me like, "Dang Mom, those kids are loco!" - and I smile and am very proud of my little girl who would not allow herself to be bullied by two other kids - and I know she really wouldn't allow it from anyone. 
(Continued)
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| When Other Kids Are Bullies |
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MonkeyWoman29
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Jul 21 @ 10:27AM
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But, here is what I am wondering. What would YOU do? If you saw two kids trying to bully your child, would you go up to their tuned out mother and inform them of the situation? My husband did tell her that her son was throwing his glasses around, and she said "Oh, they are his you know" (wtf? I don't give a rats ass if they are his, no they aren't his either. I am just letting him use them to see out of. I paid for the damn things! Is my attitude)- but she did take them and put them up, only to have him GET IN HER PURSE and get them out again to do the same things with them.
Would you say something? Or would you do what I did, to wait and see if your child could handle it herself? Or would you let her handle it herself and then do something anyway?
This reminds me of something I heard a comedian on Last Coming Standing Say...
"Y'all act like ya'll too good to punch your child in the throat".
I'd never do that, but I get her point. I'd never spank my child except for extreme offenses, and then I let her father handle it. I am a wuss. But she is well behaved and she knows that I damn well mean what I say when I say we WON'T come back somewhere or she'll lose her swimming privelege for the day or the week or lose getting to watch movies. I make it a point to discipline her. So many people don't these days.
In twelve years I see these two running over her, stealing her car, getting into trouble with the law, etc, if someone else doesn't beat them half to death first. One day they will try to bully the wrong person.
What WOULD you do?
Regards,
Kris
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AutumnSilk
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Jul 21 @ 10:49AM
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Good blog mom! What would I do? When my kids were younger I probably would have done what you did,.
but today I would confront the child first....I'd play dumb and say "sorry I didn't see any adult supervising the child and thought they were here alone" when mamma or daddy came to say "mind your own business"
If my kids are acting ugly or being mean to others I WANT other grown ups to say..."hey, stop that".
This is a very sore subject with me as I've seen the aftermath of Chit for Brains parents...way too often.
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Duffy125
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Jul 21 @ 11:09AM
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I think you handled it very well. I liked that you gave your daughter an opportunity to attempt sticking up for herself initially (while you were watching how she's doing.) And to offer the drink was a good distraction for you child as well. She left by her own choosing because a drink was offered.
It appears you observed the situation and chose the route that would suit a good experience for your child. Your not under obligation to teach this lazy woman's children manners.
However, if you wanted to do something regarding these bullies, what Autumn Silk said is great.
Nice blog!
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GuardenAngel
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Jul 21 @ 11:13AM
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What an excellent blog! 
I ran into the same situation, you described, when my son was younger. I only wish I had your patience then!  When I felt the 'fight' was unfair, I wasted no time stepping in, regardless of the other parents' opinion.
It sounds as if you are raising a very confident little girl, quite capable of 'holding her own' with the bullies of the world! Good for you! Keep doing what you are doing!
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MaggieMay64
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Jul 21 @ 11:15AM
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Well, you did the right thing, M. There is no right answer for handling some one else's hellions.
I would have gone to the manager in an attempt to get that woman to control her children, then if all else fails, just leave. It isnt worth the hassle of trying to get her to see what's going on right in front of her face.
Your right, I see trouble with a capital T, headed her way. Unfortunatly, its the children that suffer.
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RomanticLibra106
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Jul 21 @ 11:47AM
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You handled it very well. Be proud of your daughter too as you are.
I think I would have stepped in and stopped it had it gone any further before someone got hurt. What an ass she has for a mother! Some people just don't get it.
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kallamis
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Jul 21 @ 12:27PM
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You handled it much better than i would have, guaranteed. There would have been a meeting between me and other parents of a few of them, and the cops would have been called in, and i'd have ended up paying doctor bills. So good for you lady. I personally would have hurt someone.
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kallie_ko
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Jul 21 @ 12:56PM
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You did good Monkey!! You are one rockin on top of it Mom!
I would have done what you did, let them try and work it out as best they can, look how proud your daughter was after handleing that. You have done a fantastic job seems like to me! Keep up the good work and she will continue to make good decisions and stand her ground. Until physical contact is made, let them try and work out the Alpha kid thing.. lol Physical contact happens, we call Kallamis ! lol
Great blog and a Kudo to you my friend! 
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kallamis
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Jul 21 @ 1:05PM
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Oh thanks kallie. You're a big help to me behaving i see.
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