another dumb blonde joke
One morning this blonde calls her friend and says "Please come over and help me.
I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it."
Her friend asks "What is it a puzzle of?"
The blonde says "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
The blonde's friend figures that she's pretty good at puzzles, so she heads over to her place. She lets her in the door and shows her to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. She studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. She then turns to her and says:
"First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.
Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and put these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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the word f*ck
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "f*ck." It is the magical word which, just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language , "f*ck" falls into many Grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb both transitive (John f*cked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was F*cked by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a f*ck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a f*ck), and adverb (Mary is f*cking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific f*ck).It can also be used as an interjection (F*ck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, f*ck she's also stupid). As you can see there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word f*ck. Aside from its sexual connotations, this word can be used to describe many situations:
1)Greetings..................."How the f*ck are ya?"
2)Fraud......................."I got f*cked by the car dealer"
3)Resignation................."Oh, f*ck it!"
4)Trouble....................."I guess I'm f*cked now,"
5)Agression..................."F*CK YOU!"
6)Disgust....................."F*ck me."
7) Confusion..................." What tha f*ck....?"
8)Displeasure................."F*cking shit, man..."
9)Lost........................"where the f*ck are we?"
10)Disbelief..................."UNF*CKINGBELIEVABLE!!"
11)Retaliation............."Up your f*cking ass!"
12)Apathy................."Who really gives a f*ck?"
13)Suspicion............."Who the f*ck are you?"
14)Directions.............."F*ck off."
it can be maternal................"MOTHERF*CKER!!" It can be used to tell time......." It's four f*cking twenty!" It can be used as an anatomical description............."He's a f*cking asshole."
Lastly, it has been used by many notable people throughout history:
"What the f*ck was that?" ~Mayor of Hiroshema~
"Thats not a real f*cking gun." ~John Lennon~
Where the f*ck is all this water coming from?" ~Captain of the Titanic~
"Who the f*ck is gonna find out?" ~Richard Nixon~
"Heads are gonna f*cking roll." ~Anne Boleyn~
"Any f*cking idiot could answer that." ~Albert Einstein~
"It does so f*cking look like her!" ~Picasso~
"You want what on the f*cking ceiling?" ~Michaelangelo~
"F*ck a duck." ~Walt Disney~
"Houston we Have a f*cking problem." ~Apollo mission~
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