I guess today is my day to blog. I took advice and checked out the internet. I found a cool site telling me how to change the belt. I took the top off and there was the first problem. He has the stupid belt on wrong . The smooth side is down and the ridges are up.
I have a problem.
Even he had to have help to change the stupid thing. I feel so helpless and alone. No pity party even though my email friends keep saying go ahead your due one. If i had a dad I would call him and he could fix it for me. Having no male members in my family sucks. Due to him I have no male friends that can come and help me. I don't want to wait on him for help or ask him. I would love to get it done before he calls me to say I will come by. My chances are slim though.
I just want to be able to dry my dang clothes, so i can get up and go to a job that I don't love.
I really loved being a stay at home mom. I love kids and want my CDA now that is on hold. I hate it, I hate it. Finally when I can go back to school make more money and do something I love he pulls the dang rug out from under me.
I am a strong woman but this has left me feeling weak and just plain broken.
I am lonely for male companionship. I just want to be held. Not sex just held.
I look around my four bedroom home and all the dreams are shattered around me.
I know I have to go on and be strong for myself and my girls. I took the vow, I meant it, no matter how bad things got I knew we could make it together and now I am alone. I hate being alone.
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